To not invite Best Man’s girlfriend to my hen party?

Don't invite her, she may feel obliged to go (despite not wanting to) so it's a lose lose situation.

I would invite her as I think it would be a bit rude to have such a small overseas wedding and not have had the option to come to the hen.

I would hope/expect her to decline. If she did come I wouldn't babysit her. I might ask a friend to keep an eye on her as she doesn't know anyone.

Exactly. My DH has been a best man twice since we have been together. I get on great with both brides but we’re not friends independently of our husbands so did not expect to be invited to either Hen.

When we got married I did not invite his best man or ushers other halves as again, I liked them all a lot but we were not friends independently.

I would invite her, she probably won’t want to go anyway and will decline.

If she wants to go then you don’t need to babysit her.

Surprised to see so many responses saying to invite her as she probably wont come. I think it’d be weird to invite her and wouldn’t cross my mind either if I was in your situation. She’d probably find it awkward too to be invited and start her own thread 😆…

please help me get out of hen party of person I barely know’

These threads always make me laugh 🤣 all the commenters falling over themselves to be as PC in their response as possible.

This isn’t a PC event. There’s no “etiquette” to be followed. It’s your hen do. Your party with your closest women. You invite who the hell you want.
I’ve been on both sides of this, there were plenty of people I didn’t invite to my hen, because they weren’t in my closest circle, I’ve also been the wife of the best man.
I barely knew the bride, probably as much as you know your DFs Best Man’s GF. It didn’t even occur to me that she might have a hen do-I certainly wouldn’t have expected to be (nor wanted to be) invited. I didn’t know her family or friends and it would have been a very dull night for me 🤣

I wouldn’t invite her.

Would it cross your mind to tell your DH to be that he ought to invite the partner of a friend of yours that he doesn’t really want to an event?

I bet it wouldn’t and I bet he’d be surprised if you tried to interfere.

Stand your ground. If she’d made an effort to get to know you, you would likely have invited her anyway. She didn’t.

Invite her. The choice to go is hers. It's the polite thing to do.

Congrats, OP - all the arrangements sound lovely! Hope you have a wonderful build up and day.

If you have 25 guests coming to the wedding, I'd guess you might only have 10 or so coming to the hen? In that case if she comes and doesn't get stuck in then it will be quite noticeable. I think you're fine not to invite her in that case.

Your point of being the only person she knows is very valid. Why should you be worrying about looking after her when you’re meant to be the centre of attention and having the best fun! Definitely don’t invite her!!!

Invite her - she is stand-offish you say, she won't come.

I'm out of touch with the whole hen night thing, but as it's a small close friends and family only thing I would explain that and stand your ground.

If there is a bigger pre-wedding drinks thing here or at the destination, of course she'll be invited to that and meet some people.

When my partner of (back then) 3 years was best man I wasn’t invited to the hen do - and it never even occurred to me to question this. I liked the bride and got on well with her but we weren’t friends in our own right - only saw each other with the four of us etc.

If you were having a massive hen do with dozens of people then maybe - but it sounds like just close friends and family and that is absolutely fine and normal

So at the hen party, which is supposed to be just for the bride's family and closest friends, she has to invite, not just the girlfriend of her husband's best mate, but this woman's friend that she's never met?

That's madness.

I wouldn't invite her to the hen .

She's not your friend and has shown no interest in getting to know you .

This isn't about upsetting people.

In her position I would not expect an invite.
In your position I would not extend an invite.

She is not your or your DPs friend. She is someone's plus one.

Hen party's are for a day/night with your nearest and dearest friends or family. She is neither.

No I wouldn't invite her.

I didn't invite our best man's wife to mine - I'd met her a few times and she was nice enough but she's not one of my closest friends. It honestly never crossed my mind.

I didn't invite the partners of my DHs best friends (didn't do best men/bridesmaids etc) to my hen because they were their plus ones not my best friends. That said I only had a small hen do with 7 of my closest friends. I don't imagine she would want to attend given her reluctance to form a relationship - I really don't think you're under any obligation to invite her.

I never invited the BM''s partner to my hen, though it was sort of arranged for me. I didn't even occur to me to suggest. She would have known noone and would have hated it. That was 20 years ago. I don't think she would have expected it. We weren't that close (similar situation to you, really).

As it turns out she wasn't that keen on me or my husband anyway and was never very encouraging about her husband meeting up with us and despite my DH's efforts they hardly keep in touch.

I wouldn't bother. I don't think it's 'expected'.

Start telling him who he has to invite and see how that goes

You're not inviting all the women from the wedding guests and she's not a bridesmaid or part of the bride's wedding party so you don't need to invite her. Just tell DH that your hen party is for you to have fun and best man's gf will be detrimental to that so you're not inviting her. Not your monkey, not your circus.

I think the hen do is meant to be a close loving occasion with those who know and like you or love you. It's not like a birthday party.
I just had sisters mum and best friend.
I'm sure she won't care about being invited! Inviting her might even make her feel obliged to come when she doesn't want to.

You are not being unreasonable, but I'd invite her to the hen regardless. You don't have to spend all your time "holding her hand" just do some basic introductions and then leave her to it - it might even help her make some new friends and may even improve her social skills.

She sounds introverted like me, I come across like this but I'm also autistic and I read people and know who to avoid (not saying that's her) but she definitely sounds introverted. My partner was best man for his friends wedding and I wasn't invited to the hen or anything so there's no real reason as to invite her (as harsh as that sounds) she's just a plus 1 like I was.

I can see a whole thread on the dilemma of how do I say no to go to this hen do. I don't know anyone and have only been invited because my DBF is best man.

A scenario where the invited person ends up going to a hen do where neither she nor the hen want her to be at.

Has your DF asked his mate if his GF is interested? As it's your DHs idea let him explain to his mate why she's not invited if he feels he needs to.