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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dropping hours - AIBU

82 replies

Blacksheeproaming · 06/01/2025 11:11

Simple facts are DH and I both working full time. I’ve recently been on mat leave with baby who is 7 months.

Im finding 5 days too much and want to drop to 4. DH says he will ‘support’ it but resents me for it as it’s ‘the dream’ to only work 4 days per week. He hates his job.

I know the mumsnet standard is for the woman to just work full time but what do I do when I don’t actually want to work full time because I have a baby? AIBU? My head is so scrambled from arguing over it that I can’t think properly.

OP posts:
brummumma · 06/01/2025 11:18

I think it's unfair to expect yourself to go to 4 days without a discussion with your husband about him doing the same - I think you either both need to drop to 4 or no one

Mrsttcno1 · 06/01/2025 11:16

You and your partner really have to come to an agreement on this together to be honest. I’m going back to work 4 days a week after my maternity leave, husband totally supportive of that and was actually his idea initially, if he was at all resentful about it then I wouldn’t be doing it because we are a team, anything that pits us against each other isn’t worth it.

The thing is most people would rather work 4 days and have an extra day with their baby, could he not do the same so that you both work 4 days and have 1 day each off?

BarbaraHoward · 06/01/2025 11:16

Neither of you want to work FT, neither of you has any more right to go PT just because of your sex. Can you afford for both of you to drop a day, and just pay for three days of childcare?

Not really the point of the thread but I'd be wary of dropping one day - often people end up with the same workload but less time to do it and 80% of the pay.

Pancakeflipper · 06/01/2025 11:16

I would drop to 4 if you are financially able to. You need to do what's best for you and your child.
You'll be greatly busy in your day off!

Hating his job - he needs to make changes. Is he wanting to retrain?

Waterbaby41 · 06/01/2025 11:15

If you can afford to why not both of you drop to 4 days (different days of week) - you save 2 days cost of childcare and you both get proper bonding time with your child - and neither of you feels 'put upon'.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/01/2025 11:14

If your DP hates his job that’s his issue to resolve. Wanting to spend time with your child is different and I don’t think you should feel guilty for that- assuming it doesn’t put you as a family in a bad financial position.

CornishPorsche · 06/01/2025 11:14

Could he drop to four days instead of you?

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