Teenage son attempted suicide - need support

Hay fever tablets. Christ.
I've got some melatonin that I got over the counter in America. It does nothing for my insomnia. I'll happily post it to you if you want OP? If you think it may help.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not your fault that people have been voting for governments who continue to cut investment in public services. But what help do you think there is? All services are completely overstretched, there are thousands of teens in every area of the UK requiring help and just no resources to help most of them. I think the only solution is probably private residential care, but this isn't affordable for most and should not need to be the answer.

Re: caffeine - yes. Have a look online there is a lot of info about caffeine assisting to calm and focus with ADHD. Anecdotally, friends with ADHD teens have definitely found this to be true. I hope you get serious help soon. It all sounds exceptionally difficult.

His discharge is not reflective of the seriousness of his condition, merely the overcapacity of NHS mental health.

When he was in hospital did he see a psychiatrist and what was his diagnosis?

I’d be wary of posters making glib claims that this was not an attempt but a threat/manipulation. If the couple hadn’t intervened and DH hadn’t got there quickly we don’t know what would have happened, and next time he may simply jump. It’s very difficult to predict which patients with suicidal ideation will go through with it.

I'm so sorry. It's stressful and gut wrenching.

We had decent support from one particular team at CAHMs which made a difference. I reckon I would think they were not fit for purpose too if my son didn't get to engage with this one particular person and team- he was later moved to a different team and cycled through multiple people and absolutely none of them 'worked'. If you are already engaged with CAHMs, any way you can switch around and try and find someone that 'works' better for your son?? (And before I get jumped on, I know (all too well) that this may not be possible.....)

I didn't have a lot of experience navigating the NHS prior to my child trying to kill themselves. It's complex to navigate.

Can you help him get some better friends and more structure? Boys like this can really benefit from physical hobbies that require structure and discipline, e.g. Cadets, martial arts, boxing.

Is the hay-fever tablet called promethazine?

I've seen great results from antihistamines for sleep

This is such a mess. My boy was committed for 2 weeks after that he told them he felt great. They just told him enjoy life. No more support. I paid for therapy when it fell apart

CAMHS is struggling to a point where it will break soon. I have worked 20 plus years for CAMHS and demand is overwhelming and we have been told to cut 15% of our budget this financial year. Result - people leaving and not being replaced and thresholds for treatment being raised and raised.
I've been where you are OP with my son. Multiple suicide attempts and complete disregulation - you are protecting factors and scaffolding for your son - I'm sorry you are being let down by a service I was once so proud to work for.

I have no advise as the mental health services are so inadequate. If you can afford private please do it. Public just seem to miss the host

U.K. medical people are a nightmare to get melatonin out of.

We ordered it online.

Helped one child, not the other. Some kids it has no impact on.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My adult son has ASD and ADHD it took me years to get the assessment. He was clearly unwell mentally, his GP was useless and refused to refer to psychiatric services as he though his illness was manageable by the surgery. CAMHS did nothing when he was a child, even refusing to check for ADHD.
My son decided 2 years ago that it wasn't worthwhile living and is very lucky to be alive today. I won't say what he did. He had 1 night in hospital and was apparently OK to come home. No, it wasn't! It's taken almost 2 years for them to assess him for ADHD, they are still considering whether he needs a full psychiatric assessment, despite a CPN saying that he does. It's just a mess. There is no continuity of care, no one listens, he's been dismissed as' just' being autistic. I've had to put in an official complaint to get anywhere. I'm sorry, I really can't advise you what to do. Unless it's just to keep on advocating for your son, to complain and to ask the police to send reports about their involvement. Mental health services are the pits. And, yes, we were told that it wasn't worthwhile referring to them because the wait would be too long! I mean for crying out loud!

Gently OP, your title isn't what happened. Your son didn't attempt suicide, he used the threat of suicide to manipulate. I'm not saying he doesn't have MH probs or needs support. And I know you must be incredibly stressed and worried x

Maybe start giving him loads of coffee or red bull etc? Stimulants do help loads with ADHD so this does make sense.

OP I am very sorry you have to go through this. I agree with a previous poster that a private psychiatrist appointment resulting in a prescription may be the answer, even if it’s not a full ADHD/AHD assessment, the assessment should not be the prerequisite for that. Therapy and other support should also be in the mix of course but it looks like you have a strong case for medication. One of my DC struggled as well, not to the same extent but enough to get me very worried and I found CAMHS, even when engaged at highest level, was no real help. It wasn’t until we travelled to a European country where the approach is much more different that we got things moving in the right direction. Maybe that’s a possibility for you as well. There are Eastern European countries where the cost of consultations, assessments and follow up therapy is a fraction of the UK cost and very easily accessible (days), fully qualified, licensed and trained and many of them speaking excellent English. Maybe that’s an option for you if you are able to manage the hassle of travel. Or insist with private UK consultant to move you up the waiting list due to urgency and do not leave the appointment without a prescription - in many cases the medication does make a massive difference within a few weeks. Wishing you the best

This. Mental health support on the NHS is very poor. Partly because you don't have much choice on the therapist and type of therapy. If you can get him in to see a private therapist it can do wonders, try a few different things and see what works. Once he clicks with a therapist or type of therapy he can come on in leaps and bounds.

Well my friend's son (v different situation) is in a residential school and gets respite care because they were struggling to care for him given his needs and behaviours so maybe that's the sort of thing OP might expect social services to look at.

OP I'm sorry you are struggling so much. It's shit the lack of support in situations like this.

it may be worth looking at Young Carers resources for your other children?

It sounds like his needs may be complex eg not "just" ADHD, I hope you get some answers soon

With re caffeine-it's a common thing-it's like a little dopamine hit for them. We worked out that DD's behaviours were all about that-seeking hits and stimulation. She is awaiting formal diagnosis for inattentive ADD (though her CAMHs worker, her therapist, her school and I (I work with adults with LD) can see that this fits her perfectly. She is very high functioning academically but can't organise herself, make rational decisions, control her mood a lot of the time-so either very happy or very sad-and control her impulses around things that give her a little high.

I hope the GP is helpful. As for pp dd was medicated for two months (fluoxetine and quetiapine which helped her sleep and calmed her mood cycle) before she would even agree to theory and it wouldn't have been helpful anyway if she hadn't been medicated to get to that point. Awful as it is I really think you should push for this.

@fatandhappyxxx I'm so sorry for what happened to your son and to you. Lots of love.

Can you get him on medication for ADHD? even if you source it yourselves if the docs won't do it?

Sounds like my son. I can't offer any practical advice, because like you I did everything I could re contacting the relevant authorities, but the help just wasn't there (I'm so pleased to read that you've had a lot of support from the police). It was just a game of ping pong.
It took DS being criminalised in the end, to get anywhere. As part of an order he was given, a youth worker identified that school was a source of trauma. He said that every time he was at school was re-traumatising him over and over again. I raised my eyebrow at the time but DS is 20 now and has been working for a couple of years now, settled in a job he is enjoying. He's not 100% perfect, I still believe there have been so many missed opportunities to diagnose him with something. But most of his problems were to do with expectations around school. He just couldn't do it. It bled into everything and putting it all behind him turned out to be what helped him most.

I can't express how sad I feel for you and your family. You are in an intolerable situation. I hope you get the help you need.