School uniform, would I be unreasonable to do this?

I have taken "Her uniform is very expensive in particular the outerwear which is embroidered." to mean that the uniform is branded.

Yes we are told that some families are not wearing branded, they may be ignoring the school rules. I can't see the point of this thread if unbranded uniform is in the school rules

In OP's position I would still send branded outerwear - Dad will have to send child to school in outerwear the next day as it's winter.

OP is not breaking the school rules. She already said lots of children wear unbranded uniform at that school. Primary schools rarely stipulate logos, only secondaries.

Yes - that's a good question. It will be the OP that is breaking the school rules (by not sending the child in the branded cardigan) and if I was in the OP's position I just wouldn't do that to my child. Especially if OP's ex might use this as evidence against her that she is not clothing the child properly.

Is she OK with that?

You buy it second hand for his days

I can’t dispute some of the logo’d uniform has lasted years, which when you have 3 girls close in age is fantastic. Unfortunately, some like PE tracksuit and shorts, which the school has insisted on having has been awful, in my DDs time it’s been changed 3 times. We’ve had a bit of push and shove with parents using their own stuff then the school insisting the new tracksuit is better etc..

Sadly our primary school is the most expensive in the area. When we first started I bought new and multiple, now every September im there on inset day (usually the day before school starts) sifting through the second hand stuff. It started with the teachers telling me to just come in and see what I needed to sending an invite to all parents to check the boxes they left outside for anyone needing anything. I now only buy anything if I can’t get second hand and I certainly don’t send them in a clean uniform every day anymore. When they hit puberty, I will worry about that.

So?

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride!

He's not in charge of you. You provide adequate clothing. Second hand or not. Doesn't matter. He's trying to control you.

Yes. We we loads and loads of second have uniform that sadly people don’t want. It’s perfect quality too. It’s pretty indestructible.
Supermarket uniform is equally acceptable but ends up more expensive in the long run as it doesn’t last. Second hand is a great option.

Same with our secondary school, we are in London. Everything apart from the shirt needs to have the logo and it’s alright saying parents need to fight against it etc but it’s the child that suffers as they are given a detention if wearing incorrect uniform.

I can only think it’s a regional thing as none of the supermarkets around here stock high school uniforms other than shirts and trousers. Uniforms have to be bought from their approved retailers. Some of the high schools are even taking legal action against a new “uniform” shop because they are not authorised to sell the branded uniforms, parents have been told kids will be sent home if it’s not the correct logod uniform from their approved retailers.

i don't understand this post. of course it's ok to send non branded! you said it's ok at the school and other children have non branded heaven forbid your dd getting seen in non branded uniform 🙄

In which case I'd log it with the school. If it happens more than once, I'd write to him on the parent app, copying in the school if possible or dropping a seperste note after, saying that 2 jumpers have been lost on his watch on e.g. a Wednesday night therefore you are leaving one at the school for her to wear when she arrives in the morning on e.g. Thursday. If he wants her to have a jumper to come home in on Wednesday then he needs to provide one.

Because if he has to, this abusive man will wait until his child is asleep, then go and take the jumper and throw it away or hide it - depending on whether he only wants to upset OP, or if he wants to gaslight his daughter by returning her jumper to its place before she next comes to his house.

I know it sounds like the plot of a movie, but this is what these people are like, as OP well knows.

I dont understand how its going to get lost? Just tell dd to make sure she is wearing her jumper in the morning (which shouldn't be hard in January) and embed an approach of folding her clothes ready for the next day when she's at home and encourage her to do it at her dad's house.

She's only going to going to at his house so it can't get lost.

Is this a private school?

Why all the angst about wearing branded uniform every day.

I imagine loads of kids spill their breakfast down the front of their uniform just before leaving the house and end up wearing generic clothing. She isn't likely to be the only one not wearing branded kit.

If he doesn’t want to buy her clothes or uniform then he should respect that u do and make sure ur daughter has her uniform coat etc when she goes back to school should not be so hard. Some people are nasty or stupid

When you consider I live in a pretty deprived city it is!

The school I should have sent my kids to had compulsory tartan skirts for the girls. This was a failing school in a deprived area.

Another local school put half the school in detention/isolation for wearing generic navy trousers or skirts without a purple ribbon on them. There are logos on the waistband of skirts and trousers too which have to be present.

There appears to be nothing parents can do. every year these schools hit the local papers when hoards of kids are put into isolation. I work near this school and before they changed the uniform the kids wore plain back trousers and looked really smart.

@AliceMcK incorrect - I have a 15 and 12 year old both at a secondary school that doesn't require parents to get into debt to clothe them. There must be many many schools like theirs as the shops wouldn't stock non branded uniform otherwise?

@Comefromaway that's outrageous in a cost of living crisis. Parents should be pushing back against this nonsense.

Assuming you don’t have kids in high school or in the UK. UK high schools are notoriously about their ridiculous strict uniform rules.

At my DDs school the only generic items allowed are boys trousers & shirts. Everything else has to be the schools logo’d uniform. Girls skirts and trousers have to be the schools but the boys can wear anything. Jumpers, blazers, pe kit including socks all have to be purchased from the uniform shop. I’ve just spent £50 on a new jumper and pe leggings for my dd. Up until now I’ve been lucky that I have got most of DDs uniform second hand.

i don’t know of any high school in our region and others I know that allow generic supermarket clothing.

Also, both you and your DD need to keep notes of any unreasonable behaviour. This demonstrates patterns of behaviour, should you need to change contact agreement in the future.

I would send her in with only a clean shirt and underwear so she reuses her clothes from the day before. Granted they might be a bit mucky if they've had spag bol for lunch but the alternative is that he will not send her back to school the next day with the full set of dirty clothes. You might have to see shirts and underwear as collateral damage.

How many missing items of clothing would have to accrue before you could file a small claims I wonder <ponders>

The post I agreed with said for the child to have spare clothes in school

Cheap or non-branded uniform given the school being supportive.

definitely don’t send the embroidered uniforms to him!

cheap uniform is fine. I would send a set to school so she always has a spare set on her peg, and let him sort out her uniform when she stays with him. that way if she arrives without it she can change at school, and won’t be embarrassed, but you are not having to do his laundry/admin whilst he is supposed to be parenting. if he fails to provide uniform, he will realise firsthand how much it matters to her that he cannot see beyond his own nose.