To know how much to tell my daughters

I talked to my DSs about it from early teens. No big ominous sit down “talk”.

Just like anything else I talk to them about (drugs etc), it happened naturally as and when we got onto such topics.

If you’ve never spoken to her about it before, it really depends on your relationship. I’d go for bright and breezy at an opportune moment when it’s just the two of you. Approach it in tone as you would with a close friend. You could say you hope she doesn’t mind you asking her. But because you had an unplanned pregnancy, you want to be a good mum and make sure it doesn’t happen to her. Simply ask if she needs any advice or support with contraception.

If she says she doesn’t need anything (quite likely, initially) then I wouldn’t push it any further. But let her know you hope she’ll never feel awkward if she ever wants to talk about it with you, as you’re her mum and you love her. And reassure her if she ever wanted a chat, everything she says to you would be in strict confidence between the two of you. It’s important she knows you wouldn’t mention to her dad if she wouldn’t want that.

So many odd threads tonight with OPs not returning or drip feeding into bigger stories.

What a peach 😂

How have you waited this long to (not yet) talk about contraception?!

Eww

She’s been at uni since August/September surely 🤣 I’m sure she’s worked out things for herself by now - she’s an adult!

You are massively unreasonable to a) think she needs 'the talk' at her age b) to not have had it previously and c) to project your trauma onto her

My mother used to say that "your sex life is your own, but we don't want any bastards in the family".

Youve left it way too late for that talk. You think she doesn't know about contraception?

Tbh I knew about contraception and accidentally got pregnant twice, once at 20 which ended in an abortions and once at 25 which was too far along to abort.

No harm in sharing your experiences with her and just checking in. I was taking the pill back to back the second time.

I wouldn’t assume she is well informed.

My 16yo DD has really good sex ed at school but there is so much they don’t cover.
My friends dd gave birth last year at the age of 16. She didn’t know that sex didn’t have to be penetrative to result in pregnancy.

This won’t be the first conversation though right…?

That talk is well past its time.

Yeah I'm with everyone else, you're a good 5 years too late to be having this chat. She's at uni - she knows what sex is and she's got internet access to google anything she's not sure about.

Also, I'm not saying this to be cruel, but if you haven't created the kind of relationship where you can talk about sex and relationshps openly before now then it's very unlikely she'd come to you for support in the case of e.g. an unwanted pregnancy anyway, so I think throwing it in now would feel a bit odd.

Maybe remind her when you speak to her that she can talk to you about anything, even a 'and I'm sure you know about contraception etc but that's included' maybe, but I wouldn't do more than that if I were you.

Yes, absolutely the right approach.

I think people are misreading the op, but I can see why ‘talking’ to even an 18 year old is a bit ‘horse bolted’ moment. What I would try and get through to her is about sex and drinking. How much easier it is to be convinced a condom isn’t needed when had a skin-full, how she should make sure she’s backed up on her own contraception and never be embarrassed to go for the MAP if needed. But drink and sex at a young age is what caught me out at uni, even if I thought at the time I knew better.

Gosh, yes, horse has bolted on that one. This has tickled me though, imagining how such a conversation would go now.

I think people are being a bit harsh tbh. I know my 17 year old dd knows all about contraception, but I will likely say something along the lines of what CautiousLurker suggests when the time comes as I'd like her to be in control of her choices and not feel that she has to for example go on the pill.

I assume this post is a joke, yes?

Because what you’re proposing, is that you have the “facts of life” conversation with a grown up 18 year old young woman 🤣🤣

Op, you’re at least 6 years too late.

That conversation comes before they start having sex. Not after 🤣

Why so late for this conversation?

My mum did the same thing, just prompted me to think about the Pill. I didn't mind her asking.

Ummm OP your post doesn’t make a lot of sense. You are worried about your 22 year old daughter getting pregnant now but she’s already gone to uni and is an adult.

This is a talk that should have happened years ago and I’m not sure there is anything you can tell her now that she doesn’t already knows. In fact I would harbour a guess and say she is probably already sexually active.

Say nothing and talk to her about her life often.

I think the horse has bolted on this one!! By all means ask/offer advice on types of contraception but I’d imagine you’ll find she has known all this for years.

Echo everyone else. This is batshit. Unless she's a protege and has gone to uni at 14? Otherwise she must be well aware of contraception already. Unfortunately she'll have learnt it from the internet as she had no info from her parents.

This surely has to be a wind up! She’s 18! 😆😆😆