To know how much to tell my daughters

Contraception is free in the UK.

I wouldn't have 'The Talk' with her but casually drop it into conversation when asking if she's met anyone at Uni & say 'well if it gets serious I hope you're careful & use contraception' Remind her that you'll always support her & that you'll be there for any awkward conversations she may need to have with you.

If she has managed to make it to 22 without becoming pregnant I imagine she knows full well how to prevent pregnancy.

The time for that conversation was years ago. Bit pointless now.

My mum had the chat much earlier. I don't know why you would have waited till she moved for uni to have this chat rather than when she lived under your own roof?

Depending on the type of relationship you have and her personality I would just ask how she's getting on with contraception and what type she uses. Maybe chime in with what worked for you and just keep the doors of communication open so she knows she can come to you at any time.

I think that ship has sailed! If she dies not know about contraception by now she never will!

My Dad had a "quiet word" with me on the subject (at the instigation of my mum!!) on the day before my wedding. I fell about laughing!

I had a boyfriend at Uni. It annoyed me greatly that having both been brought up in Christian households people assumed we were having sex.

University is full of dire warnings about the need for contraception. When I went you could get free condoms! I'm not sure it's a conversation to have with your adult DD other than asking if she's being careful. "Careful" includes not having sex yet so is the politest thing I can think of!

I sent my daughter off to uni with a full first aid kit, various useful items and a big box of condoms. Just have a supportive conversation with her.

She’s 22? I was a mum of two by then. I’m fairly sure she knows the ins and outs of the birds and the bees. I really expected you to be asking about a young teen

OP, FWIW I have a daughter at uni, and one a bit younger, and they have known for a long time that I first got pregnant while still at school. I think having that in the open contributed to the sense of openness and AMA, but I don't think it will directly influence their own choices. Our youth was long ago and far away to them, and I certainly don't think you owe your dd the knowledge of your unplanned pregnancy at this stage.

My guess is that she has all the information she needs, but people's choices about risky behaviours are influenced by much more than knowledge.

Rather than being ‘the talk’ can’t it just be something normal brought up in conversation? I can casually discuss this sort of thing with my mum and other relatives as an adult.

You could be like me and insist on telling the new boyfriend over the phone before you've even met him that DD is from a long line of incredibly fertile women, and he should be very careful.

Just have a general chat about contraception - it's unlikely she won't be using any, but it's good to suggest belt and braces. Better late than never.

blimey you have a child going of to uni.. so at the very least 18? yet you feel you need to have 'the chat'.

i think its fair to say its the first bf you are aware of, and i think its fair to say she is already aware of what sex is and what contraception is for.

i absolutely do not think you need to tell her about your unplanned pregnancy and miscarriage, what relevance does it have? most young people today are well aware of whats commonly known as 'plan B'

My son is 16.5 and has been with his girlfriend officially since September, but unofficially since May. Have had several conversations with him about contraception/consent/respect/myths about getting pregnant etc.

I certainly don’t get everything right in this parenting lark but I think we need to have age appropriate conversations in a timely manner with our kids. Lots of people shy away from it because it’s embarrassing for them. I do understand that perhaps if you have had poor parenting/lack of guidance from your own parents it can be hard to know about when to have the conversations

You have left this very late indeed!

Unless she has SEN you are too late to the party. Even if she hasn’t previously been sexually active she’ll be fine well informed by now.

You've missed the boat, by several years.

she's gone to University and you're only planning to tell her now? Horse bolted etc. At least it'll provide a good laugh for her mates and her when out having the odd drink

Hi @Happyface246! Forget about "the talk" or whatever (as if it was a universal rule with a rigid schedule).
I completely understand how overwhelming communication with your daughter/s can be if you had a difficult relationship with your own mother.
I think the only person who knows how much you need to tell her is you: trust in yourself. If you feel like sharing some of your experiences will genuinely be of help to her, then do share them when and where there's opportunity. Likewise, if you sense that some things won't help her or would upset her, then don't share them.
The important thing to remember is: you are not your mother. And also: you know your daughter best, or at least, care genuinely for her. So the best way to aproach this is with honesty, humility (knowing you may be clumsy) and love. Good luck!

Errrm bolt and stable door springs to mind

My daughter is 10 and contraception has come up in the puberty talks we've been having. Talking about this at 22 is a little weird.

I could be misreading the OP, but I believe that her DD is 18. The OP is the one who got pregnant at 22.

Most parents still offer their adult children guidance and support at 18 as they’ve literally just entered adulthood. So I think it’s fine to mention contraception and suggest that she speaks to her doctor. Leave it at that.

I would have definitely had the conversation before uni, but as that hasn't happened I would aim of more towards STI, then obviously you have contraception covered
Say something like it lovely that she is in a new relationship and try and talk about how our feelings in the beginning can overtake our us and how easy it is to " forget" about contraception , also about the morning after pill but that it should only be used in absolute emergency. I would not mention your own pregnancy but perhaps, that even an unplanned pregnancy that ends in a miscarriage leaves a scar that stays with you .
Out curiosity why haven't you spoken about these subjects before uni if not before that.

Better now than never.

Don’t be cool. Be clear and helpful such as : BRING the contraception to her. BRING her to the pharmacist so that she can have what she needs and allow prescription to not come by home.

YABVU to have 'the talk' with a grown adult. This has to be a joke?!

I'm sure she knows all about contraception but maybe have a chat with her about her relationship and open the lines of communication that way. If she is opening up a bit ask her if she is being really careful and if she needs any advice on this. It might be nice for her to have her Mum supporting the relationship.

This reminds me of my Mum. I was 22 and my cousin got pregnant. My mum was absolutely dumbfounded this could happen, she rang me and asked me if I was careful and is said yes, end of discussion. I had a BF of 3 years at that point and a good few exs. That was in 2000s!