Currently taking part in dry January (been active on a few of the threads here) and it's made me think about my relationship with alcohol over the years. Writing this down more for myself, it will probably be a long, boring, self indulgent thread for anyone else reading it but if anyone has any comments or would like to share experiences it would be great.
Started drinking about age 13 in parks with friends because that's just what we did then, mostly cheap nasty cider. Had grown up with parents who took me to the pub and drank heavily at home so it didn't seem abnormal to me and I learnt pretty quickly that booze lowered my inhibitions and got rid of that horrible self conscious teenage anxiety meaning I could say or do what I liked for that period of time. It was great.
Drank heavily throughout my student years especially at university and while I graduated with a good degree I often wonder what more I could have achieved had I not been permanently pissed or hungover.
Had dc in my twenties so settled down a bit but still managed the odd night out when I could and that was classic binge drinking territory. Saw it as an escape and something I deserved once in a while but often took it too far and had the familiar hangxiety and regrets the next day. Calmed down a lot in my thirties and drinking was only at home at the weekends. Then Covid hit and like many people the lack of routine and work meant my drinking went right up to a bottle of wine several nights a week and sometimes gin on top when I became too tolerant of wine on its own.
When we went back to work I scaled it back again but in early 2024 I condensed my hours so instead of working short days mon-fri I did longer days mon-wed. So when everyone else was in the middle of the working week I'd be getting that Friday feeling and having a drink Wednesday night through to the weekend. Still stayed dry on work nights though.
Dh recently became interested in wine and started getting us nice stuff to have with Sunday lunch so although I wasn't drinking at night or waking up hungover on Monday, one of my 'dry days' was no longer so. Then towards the end of 2024 work got stressful and I started having the odd drink on a Tuesday too meaning that my only sober night of the week was a Monday.
With the volume and frequency of my drinking I was averaging about 30 units a week, sometimes more. So I wanted to do dry January to reset my habits because I know I just can't carry on like that for my health.
I'm not a problem drinker. I can have one and stop. I don't get drunk or cause problems for myself or others. I rarely even go out. But I like the way alcohol makes me feel and I don't think I can see a time where I will give it up forever. I do hope this period of abstinence will help me get back to weekend only drinking though.
The fact I've sat and typed this out probably shows I'm giving it way too much headspace and that in itself could be seen as a problem. But I suppose all this dry January stuff has been on my mind and discussing it on here and hearing other peoples stories and struggles has prompted me to think about my own.
Do I sound like a problem drinker? What are other peoples habits and goals? Would love to hear stories.