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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner doesn’t share

37 replies

Susieblues · 05/01/2025 16:48

when my family phone me they call on FaceTime and my partner and I share the conversation. My partner and I are both divorced, have lived together almost nine years (no wish to marry again) and live in a different country to both our families. When my partners sister phones he doesn’t even put the call on speakerphone so I can join in with the call. We all get on really well I may add. The phone call ends and I ask how his sister is and what she had to say and his reply is always “oh not much” after being on the phone for 30-44 minutes. His sister is terminally ill and struggling. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to join the conversation?

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 05/01/2025 17:03

He should be able to have privacy with his terminally ill sister. She might be sharing things she doesn't want others to hear.

You're being very unreasonable and intrusive wanting to join in.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/01/2025 17:03

And what if it's sister that has requested privacy? You really need to let go of this.

menopausalfart · 05/01/2025 17:02

Could you call her yourself? Not sure why you need to share a call.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/01/2025 17:02

YABU

Your partner and their sister (no matter how well you get on) are perfectly reasonable to want privacy on their phone calls.

NeighbourHitMyCar · 05/01/2025 16:58

YABVU. His sister is dying. He's entitled to speak to her without you being part of the conversation. This would really annoy me if my DH insisted on listening and joining all of my calls

catkatcatkat · 05/01/2025 16:57

Misleading title. Weird thread. You’re being very U.

WigglyVonWaggly · 05/01/2025 16:56

He’s entitled to a private conversation with his own sister, no matter how mundane. Yabvvvvvu indeed.

LadySnoresMuchly · 05/01/2025 16:56

Yes.

My husband and I talk with our parents on FaceTime without the others involvement. Because of the time difference, I am usually in the room when he FaceTimes his parents. I will say hello and then I go and do something else.

Similarly, we each talk to our dd who is at university without the other one there. Obviously if I've got something to say to her then I'll say it but both of us make sure that we don't take over the others time.

roseymoira · 05/01/2025 16:54

Title is very misleading

festivemouse · 05/01/2025 16:53

Maybe they just want a conversation that is private? If you get in so well, perhaps you can call on your own?

It's lovely (for you!) that you want to "share" your family phone calls, but not necessary that he would want to do the same. FWIW I'd hate to be the person put on speaker so maybe that's his sisters feelings.

Merryoldgoat · 05/01/2025 16:52

I appreciate all relationships are different but I don’t expect to be a part of my DH’s telephone conversations with family and vice versa.

Zone2NorthLondon · 05/01/2025 16:51

Have some boundaries. They’re entitled to privacy without you wishing to be included
No,it’s not regular to want to hear a conversation on speaker phone and participate

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