I'm afraid my daughter will have gender disappointment with new sibling

My children are in their 20s and still dd tells ds that she wanted a sister! They are very good friends and neither appear to be traumatised.

A friend's daughter somehow thought their new baby would be a build-a-bear and was outraged at his appearance 😊

All my kids have had gender disappointment! My eldest was massively pissed off when we found out I was having a girl, then that girl (at age 4) was disappointed I had a boy next, now both my youngest really wanted a girl with my 4th but it's a boy! But they come round because all babies are a blessing and adorable

Aw bless you, she'll get over it! Not the same I know but our 4yo niece cried when she found out our unborn baby was a boy, a few weeks later she'd come up with a name for him and is now really excited. I'm sure your daughter will be even more excited once she meets the actual baby

I (F) was 5 when my brother was born and I’d been hoping for a sister too. I vividly remember my Dad phoning my Grandmother who was watching me and saying ‘it’s a boy’ I was upset for all of 5 mins until Gran made a fuss of me, took me shopping to buy ‘blue’ presents and off to the hospital to meet baby brother, all was well. We fought like all siblings do but of course loved each other and it wouldn’t have made a difference if I’d have known or not - stick to your plan!

This reminds me of my daughter she was 4 when we booked a private scan to find out the sex of her new sibling. The doctor whispered it to her for her to tell us, honestly the disappointment on her face telling us it was a boy 😂 we went out shopping for some bits straight after and she picked him a little blue comforter which she enjoyed and was his absolute favourite and he still loves, age 5 and 10 now they get on absolutely fine!

If you want a suprise, then stick with it.

She's as likely to decide if she gets a baby sister that she would rather have a puppy/kitten/wants to send her back at some point, so I wouldn't over think it.

Very clearly cut it off. Sadie we don’t know if it is a girl or boy but that doesn’t matter - boys and girls like the same things don’t you etc

Does matter of baby is a boy as baby will like you Dollies / cars/ dogs too.

refer to bump as the baby and keep it neutral

She'll be fine. Don't pander to it or worry about it. It's just life.

Gender disappointment?

fuckinghell🙄 aged 4. If she carries on being a drama queen, gender disappointment will be the least of your worries.

SHE IS 4.

OP, people are being mean and silly. Of course you’re concerned about your dd being desperate for a sister and how that will affect her relationship with baby sibling if they are a brother!

My DS was desperate for a brother. He has 3 sisters! During the pregnancy with dd2 (middle dd), he was calling her by a boy’s name and ‘my brother’. We didn’t know the sex. Once she was here, he didn’t mind.

We found out with dd3(youngest) and he cried. But once she arrived he said ‘I don’t mind not having a brother because she’s awesome.

My observation from seeing "gender reveals" online is that typically girls want a sister and boys want a brother. So it's perfectly normal.

I'd just play it down. If she says "sister" you can say "it may be a brother". Stop there. Make it less important. Talk about "the baby". "They" may do this etc.

When baby is born, then you can let them know, but in a breezy way "your little brother/sister has bought you this cookie, and can you pass the wipes for me. You're a brilliant big sister. I'm so lucky to have you to help".

There's also one of the "Little Princess" books called "I want a sister" which you could get-but again get with other books and don't make a big thing about it.

Good Lord! You're not actually thinking about spoiling your own surprise for the sake of a 4 year old?

She will absolutely get over it, do not indulge this bonkers thought in your head!

She's 4! Gender disappointment? She'll get over it.

Why on earth would you find out sex of your baby to appease a 4 year old? When did kids start ruling the adult world?

We found at with our 2nd when our 1st was 4 for the same reason. She struggled to understand that we didn't know so we found out and then could refer to her baby brother and it all made sense to her.

We probably would have found out anyway though so wasn't a big decision but got rid of any disappointment for her at not having a sister

It really shouldn’t be this big a drama unless your / her life revolves around stereotypes about what girls and boys can do. She’ll get what she’s given as a sibling, quite literally!

When my Ds2 was born Ds1 wanted to send him back and get a cat, he didn't even like cats! They're adults now and both say that even if they weren't brothers they would be best friends.

With kindness, you need to get a grip or she will be ruling the roost. 5 months is a long way off, just humour her till then

Wall have disappointments in life. This will be a very minor one.

From experience as the adult version of your daughter who had a brother....

Find out as early as possible and prep her ahead of the birth if its a boy.

Otherwise shes going to have spent 20% of her life hoping for a sister that isnt coming.

I was her aged 7, I told everyone at school I’d put a brother in the bin. I was deadly serious.

I did have a sister, it’s not once been like I imagined it would and the reality is in the beginning I wouldn’t have cared, I would have been excited there was a baby when they finally arrived. She will be fine don’t worry xx

This is a non issue. She's four and will get over it if it turns out your baby is a boy.

Hahaha when my youngest uncle was born my mum (child 3) came home from school to find her two brothers hanging a big banner up saying It’s a boy! And she turned round and walked back down the road hahahahhaha
She and uncle get on well now.

In the gentlest way, you're overthinking ❤️.

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have a 7 year old DD.

For the first few months, she was adamant she wanted a sister. I am indeed having a girl.

At first she was thrilled.

Now she wants me to cancel the sister and get a brother instead.

In reality, your DD will be so happy and excited to be a big sister that they honestly won't give a shit what sex the baby is. Some of the closest siblings I know are brother and sister, so please don't worry and just crack on with the surprise. She's 4 and will be frothing with excitement when the baby is born either way

I’ve got a friend who threw a tantrum on the maternity ward because her new baby sister wasn’t a pet kitten like she’d asked for 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t think you can win either way! I was desperate for a sister (age 5 when DB was born) was over it within a day or so. My DSD wanted a sister for years. Her Mum and SD gave her one and now she wants her Dad and I to give her a brother because “sisters are annoying!”