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AIBU?

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Original poster

SIL's Christmas tantrum

189 replies

maoleis · 05/01/2025 10:45

My SIL joined us for Christmas Day. She wanted a dairy and gluten free dinner, which we sorted. Then we opened presents. She sulked about what she was given, then abruptly left, telling MIL and FIL that they'd bought her rubbish (she was given really nice stuff). I would have expected this from our little one, but SIL is 40.

On the subject of random crap, SIL gave me an absurd present (think something as bad as a roll of sellotape), with which I of course pretended to be delighted.

I find her such a pain. She holds the entire family hostage with the threat of an emotional outburst, and few people in the family seem capable of calling her out on her BS. Because she's extended family, I bite my tongue, but AIBU to want to call her out? She completely ruined the vibe for the rest of the day.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 05/01/2025 11:04

Just don't see her any more. She doesn't add anything to your life, so just don't bother.

If you didn't invite her next year, would your MIL and FIL kick off? What does your DH think about his sister's behaviour?

Calmhappyandhealthy · 05/01/2025 11:04

What does your brother (her husband?) say about her APPALLING behaviour?

PinkyFlamingo · 05/01/2025 11:01

Who cares if she tantrums really? She's only showing herself up. You shouldnt have let that spoil the day!

Impossiblyme · 05/01/2025 11:00

Next year buy her a novelty toilet mat and a random jar of jam.

Then sit back and watch the show.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 05/01/2025 10:59

maoleis · 05/01/2025 10:45

My SIL joined us for Christmas Day. She wanted a dairy and gluten free dinner, which we sorted. Then we opened presents. She sulked about what she was given, then abruptly left, telling MIL and FIL that they'd bought her rubbish (she was given really nice stuff). I would have expected this from our little one, but SIL is 40.

On the subject of random crap, SIL gave me an absurd present (think something as bad as a roll of sellotape), with which I of course pretended to be delighted.

I find her such a pain. She holds the entire family hostage with the threat of an emotional outburst, and few people in the family seem capable of calling her out on her BS. Because she's extended family, I bite my tongue, but AIBU to want to call her out? She completely ruined the vibe for the rest of the day.

I would’ve quietly taken her to one side and told her what an ungrateful piece of 💩 she is, I would’ve added that any emotional outburst wouldn’t wash with you and she would be asked to leave if that happened. Given that she’d already knocked the shine out of Christmas you had nothing to lose.
I wouldn’t invite her to any future events, including Christmas next year and tell her why. Bloody selfish attention seeker!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 05/01/2025 10:58

@maoleis give her a subscription to whogivesacrap.co.uk

Joelle84 · 05/01/2025 10:57

Most families have one of these. My SIL usually after too much alcohol who sits there sulking then arguing with BIL and then has to leave/we have to leave. Really embarrassing. After years of putting up with it, i dont anymore and decline all offers to socialise with them both! Liberating to cut someone off vs putting up with shitty behaviour!! Try it

JC03745 · 05/01/2025 10:56

OP- Do we share the same SIL! Mine is 45 though. One year recently, she bought DH a top gun DVD with a 50p sticker on it. We don't have a DVD player.

I agree with others, next year, just say you aren't doing adult gifts anymore and suggest she cooks everyones meal.

toomuchfaff · 05/01/2025 10:55

user23124 · 05/01/2025 10:50

I'd just roll with it tbh. Tell her you're not doing presents next year as "we always seem to get it wrong" and nice and early - say now - suggest she cooks. Leave it at that for now. Who gives a fuck if a grown woman has a mardy tantrum? Ignore her and have a sherry.

This.

She sounds like a Central character princess. No matter what you say, you'll be the villain, she will be the victim.

SadSandwich · 05/01/2025 10:55

Where was your sibling at the time of the tantrum and departure?

Quinto · 05/01/2025 10:52

But who cares if she has a tantrum? I mean, it doesn’t sound as if she’s in any way a pleasant addition to any gathering even when not in mid-tantrum.

BMW6 · 05/01/2025 10:51

Well given what she said about the gifts she was given, why didn't you tell her that her gift to you was absolutely crap?

She's kicking off anyway so you may as well get some satisfaction!

user23124 · 05/01/2025 10:50

I'd just roll with it tbh. Tell her you're not doing presents next year as "we always seem to get it wrong" and nice and early - say now - suggest she cooks. Leave it at that for now. Who gives a fuck if a grown woman has a mardy tantrum? Ignore her and have a sherry.

MudpiesinEssex · 05/01/2025 10:47

Every part needs a laugh like that.