SIL's Christmas tantrum

Can you 'add value' and make the sausage into a pen - then give it to her next year?

Like in that vintage clip of Crackerjack (or was it Blue Peter?) that they often show, where the children made instruments out of vegetables.

Who'd ever have thought that disembowelling a carrot and shoving a recorder inside it would sound so terrible, eh?!

idea for next year’s SIL gift: a book called ´things to do while on the loo 🤣

you cannot be serious, stormed out??

honestly adults sitting around opening present is all too much. open them at home and ask for the gift receipt. my Dps family do and i hate it :(

you can always give a little jokey response. remind her that letters to santa are for children.

Sounds like she forgot about you and gave whatever she could find. How long have you been married to your dw? I’m guessing long enough that it’s not like she could forget you if you have a dc?

You know that it’s game on now though. Get her a pack of butter for her birthday.

‘Maybe next year I can give her a poem, written on lined paper, and framed, about my experience with said chorizo’.

You’re going to fit right in here.

Isn't 99% or a roast naturally dairy and gluten free any way??

This is something my Nan used to do, only it wasn't by accident. We all had some bizarre gifts over the years, but now she's gone it's lovely to have the stories 😊

YES. Or some drain unblocker.
I had some in my secret Santa with the nice soaps etc. Turns out my nan just put everything she got from the shop in the gift bag in an accidental 'moment'. She is a legend so I gave her a massive hug and said thank you, I really needed some. Your SIL sounds like a complete brat.

You are not being unreasonable but it’s not your place to call out her behaviour.

She is a bully and has no doubt been acting this way since she was a toddler and has completely reversed the natural authority of the parents.

I suggest you call a family meeting without her being present and discuss her behaviour, say how it makes you feel and invite comments.

Explain that you are not going to be held hostage to her unreasonable reactions to her presents, (I mean what 40 year old expects presents anyway!!!), and then decide between you how you are going to tackle this childish and inappropriate behaviour.

I wish you good luck and a good result.

I have a SIL like this too. One Christmas we gave her a gift that was very practical (she had just moved house and it was something she had mentioned she needed. Wasn’t cheap so thought we were doing her a favour by getting it). As she opened it I honestly thought she was going to cry with disappointment !!! I have refused to get involved with anything related to her and presents since ……

Count it as your Xmas tradition and laugh it off.

No need to exclude her. She seems quite unhappy enough…

I have a SIL like this. Only met her 5 times in 30 years (she lives in a different part of the UK). My husband doesn't even know if his brother is living with her or not (one minute he's showing my husband divorce papers, next minute another relative says he's going round their house). SIL fell out with my MIL and FIL 30 years ago and she got banned from their house. She also cracked up at her son's wedding saying to the other family on the eve of their wedding 'you lot are a shit family'. When I think about it, I am lucky I am the other side of the UK! Oh, and she made sure that we weren't invited to her son's wedding. But after she cracked up at it I wasn't missing much.

Hard to imagine this actually happening in real life!!! YANBU xx

Every family has one of these. Looks like your SIL fits the bill sadly.

Every meal you eat add a slice of sausage and send pic to sil...

@TallNeckedGiraffe
No, OP told us in their second post "It's my DW's family." So it would appear that OP's SIL is their wife's sister. OP mentioned that their DW and SIL also have a brother.

That sounds like how you'd react encouragingly to a very little kid who gives you something rubbish, but with the very best intentions and no idea yet about what kind of things make nice presents.

Does she have learning difficulties/other conditions - or is she just really so self-obsessed that she genuinely thinks giving you something mundane from her drawer or fridge 'will do' as it's 'only' for somebody who isn't her?

Absolutely no excuse at all. I have off the scale ADHD (diagnosed at age 60), and would never act in such a way.

OK ADHD can lead to foot in mouth syndrome, by not always thinking before you blurt something out, but it doesn't lead to sulking, main character syndrome, general rudeness, or buying totally inappropriate gifts - especially if there's a clear attempt of making a point when others got thoughtful gifts.

At first glance, I genuinely thought that blue sellotape holder was something quite different... something that would definitely not be for children!

No, the SIL is OP's DW's sister.

It's funny isn't it, how we tiptoe around people not wanting to cause unpleasantness and problems within the family, friendships, work etc but the people being difficult arseholes don't worry that they could potentially cause it to happen.

Does she have learning difficulties? She sounds as though she has some issues, autistic perhaps?

Just wondering if you had dinner before she left. You went to the trouble of making the meal gluten and dairy free. Did the ungrateful grouch even bother to thank you?

Here are some alternative suggestions on what you could get her for next Christmas:
https://www.johnlewis.com/professor-puzzle-burger-balance-party-game/p5075115

https://www.johnlewis.com/playmonster-order-up-fish-market-game/p112128024

https://www.johnlewis.com/big-potato-get-the-ick-party-game/p110575793

https://www.johnlewis.com/gamely-bang-out-of-order-game/p112016647

https://www.johnlewis.com/throw-throw-burrito-card-game/p4151363

https://www.johnlewis.com/gamely-gullible-party-game/p6269979

https://www.johnlewis.com/ridleys-pickles-party-game/p112093072

Some of the above I selected purely on the name of the game. You really could have such fun selecting something like this and pop a bottle of wine in a gift bag and she has a 'games night in' ready to go!

Is this your SIL at her own parents' place?

If so, I would just butt out to be honest and let them get on with it.

Sometimes there are strange/ unhealthy dynamics between adult children and their parents, which can be highlighted at Christmas with childhood regression.

As an in-law/ not part of the blood family, it's best to just not get involved.

Don't spend so much money on her next year.

And don't you just know it's because she'd over-shopped for Christmas and had them left over! 😂