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Original poster

To ask my dad to STFU

39 replies

itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 08:39

Horrible I know. But hear me out.

He is staying with us while a house purchase goes through, it was actually meant to go through before Christmas but didn’t.

Had a bad night with my kids last night and this morning was enjoying some calm, they’re playing nicely. Dad comes down and starts roaring and yelling and getting them all worked up, playing stupid games and getting them worked up screaming and shouting. You know that ‘it’ll end in tears’ refrain; it always always does.

Several polite requests to please tone it down go ignored and eventually I ended up screaming at him something like ‘for gods sake shut up! I was happy before you came in!’

He has now huffed off but seriously - was I honestly being unreasonable there?

OP posts:
MabelMora · 05/01/2025 09:27

He should be apologising to you really, once you tell him that!

Sceptical123 · 05/01/2025 09:27

itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:11

I know it’s horrible but if you ask him nicely he just ignores you. So I don’t know what to do really!

If he ignores you that’s on him, he sounds an idiot. When you speak to him tell him he’s ignoring you and why is that? Does he want to look after the kids on his own while you go and do something else to get away from the noise? Was he like this with you when you were growing up?

The next time he does this you need to say very clearly and loudly - why are you ignoring me, dad? If he continues, leave the room. Explain later why it’s out of order.

MabelMora · 05/01/2025 09:26

itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:21

It isn’t nice - it’s loud and chaotic and dangerous, he does unbelievably stupid things (and I’m pretty relaxed) and breaks things. It’s awful!

It's not surprising you lost it then, tbh. I think you need to clear the air later and explain that while you appreciate he wants to play with the kids, it was just too much, you're knackered, things end up broken or kids hurt and you couldn't deal with it which is why you snapped.

HoraceCope · 05/01/2025 09:25

itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:24

My house, waiting for his house sale to go through.

thank you op
you were at the end of your tether, not surprising.

but you could apologise and explain your lack of sleep

Original poster
itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:24

My house, waiting for his house sale to go through.

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 05/01/2025 09:23

just apologise op

HoraceCope · 05/01/2025 09:22

i dont know whose house it is and whose house sale you are waiting for
but you were wrong to shout

Original poster
itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:21

It isn’t nice - it’s loud and chaotic and dangerous, he does unbelievably stupid things (and I’m pretty relaxed) and breaks things. It’s awful!

OP posts:
Newuser75 · 05/01/2025 09:14

I can understand why you got annoyed. Honestly.
But I think it's nice that he was playing with them and was excited to see them.

Porkyporkchop · 05/01/2025 09:13

if he wants to behave like a child he can move out, he has choices. You had a bad night, don’t beat yourself up OP.

Original poster
itwillbreak · 05/01/2025 09:11

I know it’s horrible but if you ask him nicely he just ignores you. So I don’t know what to do really!

OP posts:
Tia86 · 05/01/2025 09:08

This sounds exactly like my dad. He likes to play silly with the children, even if they are sat doing something quiet. I would have flipped too.
Perhaps when calm speak to him and say that the children were quiet and mornings don't need that level of noise.

Moonlightstars · 05/01/2025 09:04

Bit harsh. But understandable after a bad night's sleep. I would have asked him to take over and then gone to the gym/park/bed with ear plugs and had some time.

Drearycommuter · 05/01/2025 09:01

I think what he did was annoying but would cry if a family member told me to shut up and that they were happy before I came in.

talk to him about it at a different time? Apologise for harsh words but that it’s unhelpful to wind the kids up