To ask my dad to STFU

Ugh, he's not the Cat in the Hat, he's a menace. Get him gone.

I think you gave the response he needed for it to stop. IME people (esp men) often ignore you until you're this angry. Then the shock of you snapping will stop them. Don't undermine it by explicitly apologising.

My dad is a deceptively charming steam roller. My mum and I have spent years being considered "aggressive" or "rude" by him because he will relentlessly keep on at you to basically bend you to his will / want. He'll stay even / conversational in his own tone but only understands and heeds responses like "no" or "stop" if they're yelled angrily at full volume. We probably do start such "shut up" negotiations with him from a ruder, blunter place now tbh - it gets it over with much faster.

Had some very nasty fights with him over homework as a teenager. Mostly because I'd thank him for checking that one nasty sentence in my language homework and say I now had to do something else asap to have a chance at some down time before bed at a reasonable hour as I had school in the morning. He'd somehow hear me begging him to stay and begin to explain the Spanish subjunctive (it was always the bastard Spanish subjunctive which I had not been taught yet and which hadn't featured in my homework) in detail at 8pm. "I'VE SAID NO! LIKE 5 TIMES NOW! GET! OUT!" reached places that "thank you but no more right now please, I need to do my maths homework" never could. My mum sided with me. He just thought we were both surly and dreadful.

Tell him you need space from him for a time and he should go out shortly with an overnight bag, and get a Premier Inn room for a couple of nights to give you a break and for your kids to calm down.

Tell him you've asked him repeatedly to stop winding up the kids but he ignores you so off he fucks for a while.

When he has his new property I'd be taking kids there, not him to you.

OMG he lifted a 14 month old in a high chair by the tray which broke and your child and the high chair came crashing down!! What the fuck is wrong with him? Was he absolutely mortified? What did he say?

You need to ask him to leave immediately.

Make sure when he moves into his new house you visit with the kids st 7:30am on a regular basis for a lovely noisy rampage, even better if he's just decorated 😉.

Can't you just tell him to leave? Could he afford a hotel or a short term rental until his house purchase is completed? You sound completely exhausted.

not ideal, OP, but i think that if you have asked nicely before and it still carries on, the shock of a huge roar can sometimes help.

In your shoes i'd be talking to the whole family (DCs included) about playing recklessly inside and being noisy. Especially in the mornings and (re) establish house rules for the duration of your dad's stay.

God I can't believe all the annoying dads out there. My dad was an angel but died in 1992 which sucks. However my Husbands dad was as annoying as yours sounds

What exactly was he doing that was unsafe?How old are your children?

He needs a proper telling off then, OP. He’s staying in your home by your good grace and overstaying as you said it was meant to over before xmas. He can huff all he likes, he deserves for you to be angry with him especially if your kids are getting hurt bc essentially he’s being a twat. How long til he’s gone? Maybe it’s time to read him the riot act if he wants to continue staying with you.

I would not be apologising for shouting. If anyone should be apologising it's the Dad to OP for driving her to that point after ignoring and overriding her polite requests.

You sound a bit fragile

Ask him to take them out for breakfast/swimming/walk to the park. Sounds like they all need to burn off some energy and give you an hour or twos peace and quiet!

I'd aologise for shouting. If he won't do as you ask then you need to remove kids from the situation

When DDs were once driving me mad with noise - sort of play fighting and winding the dog up, who was joining in and barking non stop - I pleaded with them several times to stop, but they just wouldn’t.

So I ran away. I got in the car and drove for a couple of hours to a friend I hadn’t seen for ages. When she opened the door I said, ‘I’ve run away from my kids - can I stay the night?’
I did! Had a great evening with her. Returned the next day - dds were a bit sheepish and subdued, but none the worse.
They were probably around 11 and 14 at the time, and dh was away for work.
I still have zero regrets!

It doesn't sound like he can be trusted to keep them safe though.

Oh God, sounds bloody awful. Take the kids away from the situation when it gets like that. I would probably be blowing a bloody whistle or shouting every time if I was you!!

Have a word with him on his own and say this. Ask if he understands the impact it has on you, especially when you’ve slept badly - does he even care?

Say you’ve been happy to have him while the sale of his house goes through but that this is really inconsiderate behaviour and it isn’t being kind of him at all to you, his daughter. If he wants to play with the kids, do it less madly, take them to the park or do it when you are out of the house?

He doesn’t get to huff off and leave you with the carnage he caused - he’s an adult FGS.

use the opportunity to leave the house/room op,
suggest he takes the dc out if he wants so much noise

Maybe she had to shout to be heard above all the racket.
I mean, he's a grown man, I'm sure he can cope with being shouted at as a one off without crumbling into a heap.

If it were me, I think I’d have said something like, ‘Dad, will you PLEASE stop winding the kids up? It’s driving me mad!’ - in an ‘up to here’ voice, but not actually shouting.

If he ignored that plea, OTOH, then IMO what you said would have been entirely in order.