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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be unsure about DS going to this party?

187 replies

leavehimthere · 04/01/2025 21:04

DS is four, plays with a range of toys and has a range of interests but it’s fair to say most of them are maybe typically ‘boy’ toys: construction and farm toys and the like.

He has been invited to a ‘princess party’ which is where women dressed as Disney princesses greet the children, who are also dressed as princesses, and then they dance and sing to princess songs and have a princess tea.

(ds is the only boy going.)

I don’t know. I feel like DS won’t enjoy it much and will feel really out of it if everyone else is wearing an Elsa dress or whatever but equally he wouldn’t want to dress as a princess and there isn’t really an equivalent - I could maybe try a prince outfit? It’s not the first time he’s been sort of subtly pushed out and it makes me a bit sad for him.

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 04/01/2025 21:09

My DS has been to a couple of these parties. It’s literally just a party tea and party dances. He enjoyed it. He just wore normal party clothes, nobody batted an eyelid.

out of curiosity- what do you mean he’s ’subtly pushed out’. It seems like he’s more pushed in than out being the only boy invited to a party?

SalmonEile · 04/01/2025 21:09

Is the party being held by a family member?

JoyeuxNarwhal · 04/01/2025 21:09

He's not being pushed out by someone choosing a party theme he wouldn't have chosen for himself. If he wasn't wanted there he wouldn't have been invited Confused

Poppyseeds79 · 04/01/2025 21:09

I can't see at all how he's been pushed out? Unless you think the 4yr old birthday girl shouldn't be allowed a Princess party if she's invited your son? 😅

DarkAndTwisties · 04/01/2025 21:09

It’s not the first time he’s been sort of subtly pushed out

How is he being pushed out? Being pushed out would be if they'd said "well, we would have invited him but assumed he wouldn't want to come because he's a boy"

Sparklysnowman · 04/01/2025 21:08

Ask him if he wants to go?

Amba1998 · 04/01/2025 21:08

Why’s he being pushed out?

my daughter is having a frozen party and we’ve invited a few boys. They’re not being pushed out because she’s having the theme she wants. The theme is usually what the birthday child wants not catered to the guests

FrannyScraps · 04/01/2025 21:07

Doesn't sound like he's being subtly pushed out if he's the only boy invited, quite the opposite.

BarbaraHoward · 04/01/2025 21:07

Why don't you ask him?

Assuming the other kids will be 4, they'll likely all just be running around going mad anyway.

SadMadCatWoman · 04/01/2025 21:06

Does he want to go? If so, let him wear whatever his favourite clothes are. (trousers, jumper, whatever). If he doesn't want to go, don't send him.

JSMill · 04/01/2025 21:06

Why do you think he's been 'subtly pushed out'? Without any background knowledge, I just assumed he'd been invited by someone who really wanted him there. My dd's male cousin used to invite her to some very boy themed parties because he wanted her there and she'd suck it up and go.

MotherJessAndKittens · 04/01/2025 21:06

He must be good friends with the party girl. Let him dress up how he wants. Sure he’ll have fun x