To be unsure about DS going to this party?

My DGD invited her two younger male cousins to her princess pampering party. The boys were 5 and 3 at the time and although they didn't want to dress up they really got into the nails and make up and had a great time.

My DS went to a princess party and dressed as Spiderman, he loves going to parties and is very sociable so it didn’t bother him. If you always get bad vibes is it worth sticking it out with this friendship group?

Personally, having come across this before, I doubt you're wrong

Send him and send him in normal clothes or a princess dress or as a prince, literally just whatever he wants to wear. You’re massively overthinking this.

Does he like any Disney films? Olaf, Maui, Robin Hood, Peter Pan, Flynn Rider are all possibilities

This makes me reflect on how fortunate we were to have a fairly equal split of girls and boys in our nct group. And even then those of us who “only” had boys did feel a little ousted by those who had managed a fabled girl … I for one completely get where you’re coming from OP - it’s must feel as if the theme has been deliberately chosen to alienate if not your DS then you as you have no experience of princess parties, dressing up, styling long hair. (It’s highly unlikely this is the case, but all I’m saying is I get that it must feel this way to you.) But all you can do is just go along with it, get DS a thematically suitable costume (eg my nephew likes being the Beast when his sister dresses up as Belle), maybe - if you think it will help DS have fun on the day - show him some Disney movies before you go, get his - and your! - Elsa vibes going ;)

Here are a prince and a knight costume you can easily get. There is also a Disney Beast on Ebay, and another cheaper, easier to get Beast one which is also easily available.

Honestly OP I can see where you’re coming from - it’s not just the party it’s the whole vibe you get from this group
i have a friend group around my youngest son who all have girls and there’s lots of “oh let’s get the girls together and do their nails! … oh uhm well Salmon , I guess Little Salmon could join too ….”
now if I thought Little Salmon would enjoy that I’d be like “hell yeah let’s do it” but he wouldn’t so I don’t.
If it was a “dress up” party however Little Salmon would love it! He would also hate a soccer party.
If you think your son wouldn’t enjoy the party don’t bring him.

The little boy from next door, came to one of DDs parties in a Princess Dress, and a pair of wellies - it was not a Princess party, and was the height of summer

Op what outfits does he have?
Buzz, Knight, Prince charming?,

Put him in an outfit and don't think more of it. The parties will all change in the next year or so when the kids all start school and their own friendship groups develop, rather than the ones their mums made for them.

I think the only person stereotyping here is you. You already decided that your son isn't going to enjoy the "girly" party based on the gendered toys you provided for him to play with... And you are trying to make far-reaching conclusions based on conversations about hair among the group of women who each have a girl with more hair requirements than an average male child. God forbid one of them ever brings up periods in a group chat...

I think this is actually you feeling rejected from the group. You have a son, they all have daughters and discuss girly things that exclude you from the chat.
Don't project your feelings onto your son, he will probably just be excited to be at a party.
Mine used to love going to anything and everything knowing there would be party food, cake and a party bag. Theme was irrelevant. As they got older they became more choosy, and tend to go to main friends parties (plus also the invites dwindle and become more specific to a group of friends). Let your son enjoy this while he is invited.

So it's all good then. He'll have a great time, as they do at any party at that age.

Personally I would go just so you're not purposely excluding yourselves from the group. As DS gets older there will be many play dates/party offers forthcoming via school. Chances are you'll drift into new friendship networks anyway.

Is this a wind up? Seriously? Your concerns are really circa 1950.

In 2024 boys go to girls parties all the time. Dressing up isn’t mandatory and he won’t be pushed out because oh yeah he was invited to begin with.

Your very traditional views on boy be girls toys. their interactions and the way kids behave needs a bit of updating.

Incidentally, the birthday girl didn’t ’choose the theme.’ Her mother did.

But why can't they pick something "girly" if that's what they want? Let's not teach girls to put boys first even on their birthdays, eh? He's invited and I'm sure they'll make him feel very welcome.

You REALLY tell your child on their birthday that they can only have the party they want if it suits their friends? Yeah RIGHT. Did his little friend organise your child's sex? His friend wants a prince and princesses party. It isn't her fault that there is only one boy (prince) in the group!

A princess party makes me want to vom, FWIW, but it’d just ask him and if he wants to go, take him.

And I feel as if the princess party is almost a way of excluding him: a sort of well, you can come but you aren’t really welcome?
@leavehimthere

The Party was not set up to invite him with the the intention of his not coming, I am sure. The Princess party would be what the little girl wants. She wouldn’t have a different sort of party just so as to be sure he would definitely come, iyswim.

Conversely she wouldn’t be having this princess party just so as to be sure he does not come.

I think the parents in your group being rude about little boys that is making you lose confidence. The children will be fine though.

Your little boy can have the fun of having a more original costume, and parties are parties - food and so on. He is only four and will join in easily if he knows these girls.

My ds2 went to his little friends 3rd birthday like this. It was put on by a party hosting company, princess theme. He had a great time. I sent him in normal clothes. Some of the girls were wearing princess dresses, some weren’t.