To be unsure about DS going to this party?

@leavehimthere I think you should choose a girl ds likes and you find their mum does not have the 'boy stereotypes' and dress ds as that child's 'add on character' so if one is Snow White, could he be an apple or a dwarf? Or Olaf if there is an Elsa etc?

I would take ds to have fun and show others you don't get knocked down by their comments but in your head I'd be making plans to break away UNLESS he's going to be at the same primary school as them.

Kindly, I think the others seem to have a 'girl bond' and even though some don't care about a boy/ stereotypes, the stronger- learners of the group do.

No, it's not a divide. Just like you having a boy is not a divide. Not at 4 years old anyway.

You are really, really being ridiculous. As a PP said, I think you are feeling self conscious and 'different' and are projecting that onto the group and reading into things that are just not there.

I would imagine that most parents will gravitate towards what the issues/ things are that affect them- young girls usually have long hair. Young girls quite often like princess parties- they are not leaving you out- in the same way that if the majority had boys I'd imagine the conversation around their grooming would be different. Birthday girl/mum of birthday girl wants a princess party. Get him a prince outfit. They are including you, whilst still respecting their child's current interest.

I think you have some main character eeergy going on op. I don't think a four year old girl revolves her birthday theme around you and your son- she's chosen what almost all four year old girls are into.

Of course mum chose the theme, and based her choice on daughter’s interests, her age and availability. She probably did teddy bears tea party already and her girl is too young for ceramics painting or trampolining hence princess party.

Prince Charming would be a good costume option for your boy.

Have any of the group had a 2nd child who’s a boy? I would imagine once there’s more of a mix in subsequent siblings it won’t be so noticeable or at least you’ll feel the comments aren’t towards your ds but just stereotypes aimed generally.

I think you are seriously overthinking this! Your DS will probably be invited to many more princess parties in the next few years.

As for equivalent dress up errrmm Prince charming, Jafar, Aladdin, Ninja, Pirate, Beast (Lion), Shrek, Princess Phillip ( not the olds queens the one from sleeping beauty), Flynn Ryder, Olaf, Sven, Kristoff, The costume dosnt actually have to be princess related either, I’m fairly certain Darth Vader once came to my DDs princess party. Edited LOL just realised Darth Vader is actually princess related 😂

ive been to and hosted a many a princess party with plenty of boys.

You could make a simply Olaf (the snowman) costume with some white felt and a few sticks a carrot and a black felt tip pen aand maybe as some sick on eyes. There's one on Amazon for £23 you could easily copy...

My son is 4 and, for what it’s worth, loves loads of stereotypical boy things and would blooming LOVE to attend a princess party.

To dress him as a prince or even a unicorn would be absolutely fine, or just let him dress how he wants to.

But so what, though? Do you like the parents and value their friendship? If so, challenge their prejudices or ignore them — they’re not your child’s friends? At 4, DS wasn’t bothered about playing with others, boy or girl.

If a 4 or 5 year old wants a ridiculous sexist party concept like that there is something amiss

It’s sounds like you’re being a little self conscious and are projecting this. You’ll need a thicker skin as a parent, your DS comes first and he wants to go to the party so take him. No one will care if he’s dressed up or not, my DD hated dressing up and it was never a problem at things like this.

Send him in.

He'll be fine

Op take him along, ride out the next few months. I'm assuming they all start school in August / September?

I'd try and find out if any nursery friends will be going to the same school? And start trying to do play dates with them and their mums.

Another thought, do none of the group have siblings - male siblings?

@leavehimthere He doesn’t feel excluded, you do. He’ll enjoy the party even as you struggle with the dynamic.

i understand btw. You’re in a group as a singleton, everyone else can bond together in a way you can’t. But your boy will enjoy it. It’s up to you to decide if you think they’re nice enough people to hang out with despite that sense of othering.

Op, I think your are being U about the party but I can see how these feelings have manifested over time. It must not be easy with such an imbalance of sex in your NCT group.

Go to the party, then maybe its time to slowly fade from the group unless they are all very good friends? Or just stay in touch with the ones who you are friends with. I wouldnt be surprised if the group slowly disintegrates as the children start school, and parents meet other people etc.

I’d let him go and let him dress as whatever he feels like.

Little children’s birthday party dressing up themes are famously fluid!

My dd was obsessed with pirates age 4, and so we had a pirate party. It was made very clear that children could come in whatever they wanted - many did come as pirates - but we had some princesses and also a buzz light year.

It’s all just a bit of fun!

The party child can choose their favourite thing, they are 100% not choosing around your child ffs.

He's 4 bless him

Prob hasn't crossed his mind to him they are just friends

Obv the only boy as rest of group are girls

Sure he plays with other boys at pre school etx and has friends who are boys

Get him this

amzn.eu/d/3PFTahW

This feels like it's much less about your son being excluded and more more about you feeling like the odd one out in the group of mums.

Let him decide. If he likes her, he'll go. Both DS and DD have been to so-called princess parties and enjoyed dressing up. DS wore one of his sister's dresses, and other boys just wore regular clothes.

How is he being pushed out if he’s been invited? Birthday girl must like him! But if it’s not his thing, don’t go….? He might have fun though. Parties are parties and the “he only wants plays with x y z” is often self-fulfilling as you then only expose to that stuff...