To be unsure about DS going to this party?

Pushing him out would be not inviting him because he's a boy. This hadn't happened. He has been invited to a specific type of party chosen by the birthday child. If that doesn't align with his interests, then he can either give it a go and see, or decline. Its no different from being invited to a pony trekking party if he doesn't care for horses or ice skating if he doesn't fancy it much. You are over complicating it by making it about sex based stereotypes.

Knight, pirate, beast from beauty and the beast heck even Spiderman as a costume.

In fact get him watching Adam Ant videos from the 1980s, some fantastic costumes there.

When it is his turn for a party what will you do?

Lol my DGS went to a frozen party at that age AND dressed as Elsa. He was quite happy

I can see why that leaves you feeling is he wanted there or not.
They could have worded it better 'Bob's more than welcome' but maybe they mean 'i won't be offended if he doesn't want to come'

I'd still take him, dressed in whatever he wants to dress as. But i wouldn't go spending money on a new outfit.

I am constantly crossing my fingers because DD hasn't been a typical teen so far. She and her friends are all pretty chilled and well-behaved - she's 15 and currently out sledging!

Omg get a grip of yourself. No one is gonna give this any though the next day or any other days in the future. It's a children's party.

Personally, I'd see it as a nice thing that a probably-quite-girly-girl likes my boy enough to want to invite him to her party! He's probably kind and gentle, and quite good at imaginative play.
The kids don't see parties as gendered things at that age.

Thinking about my own boy at 4... He wouldn't have wanted to dress up in a princess dress, but he'd have happily posed for pictures with Elsa or a similar adult princess. He'd also have been down for wearing "something very handsome that a prince might wear."

Just send him. He'll have a lovely time running around with his little friends.

One of my ds spent a good few months in his Spider-Man in a tutu stage. He’s now 20 and I promise that he is a lovely guy.

The original message did make it sound like you were annoyed at the theme - sorry, but that is how it came across.

The invite (now you’ve elaborated) is perhaps a bit off hand but I wouldn’t read too much into it. Go and have fun, let your son dress as he wants and if it doesn’t go well, don’t go next time. Or if you really don’t want to go, don’t. He won’t know at this age and they don’t have to do “everything”

They do sound like a precious bunch of women, even divvying out who can be what princess. There can be more than one Elsa, surely? I also thought it was unusual that an NCT group would still be seeing each other so regularly now the kids are 4, but as they're all only single children that makes more sense. I would feel pushed out as well, as your son was invited as an offhand afterthought and I assume they didn't assign a dress to him either, because penis.

Is your second child a boy too? It seems like you're feeling very pushed out of the "girl gang".

Ah I get it OP, it does sound like the way they worded the invite was a bit shit.

If he's friends with all the girls just reply that of course he's coming. He could go as Black Panther who is a Disney Prince technically (albeit tenuously). Then wax lyrical about how lovely it was the mum picked a theme he could be included in 😁

So they should change the whole theme just to make the one boy in the group feel more welcome? That’s an odd stance to take…

He’s not being “pushed out” because she’s chosen a princess theme…. As others have said, he’s clearly being included!

is he at school yet? Parties then become all kinds of themes, it’s just what each kid likes! And also they’ll be less NCT stuff once he starts school so I’d make the most now if you’re friends with them.

and as for the comments around “boys being boys”, that happens. Doesn’t mean you have to agree or join in.

Do none of the girls have younger brothers? I'm assuming this is a group of pfb's. But I'm surprised if by four none have younger make siblings?

Mwah ha ha. Wait until the teenage years hit (I'm currently living it)!

YABU.

Seems he was invited for a reason. Buy him a very nice Prince outfit and let him go along (unless he does not want to.)

We’ve been to a few princess parties and little boys have come dressed up still, either in princess related or Spider-Man/Mr Incredible.

Don’t overthink it, just go and have fun.

Kindly, I think you're over thinking.

Just say "great, we'll be there" and take him along dressed however he wants.

Haven't read the thread but my ds went to several princess parties and one Pocahontas party dressed as spiderman. He had fun.

Edited to add: he was the only boy, or sometimes one of two boys, too.

So what’s the alternative? As I see it, the only alternative given that’s he been invited and so is wanted there, is to change the whole theme to pander to a boy? In what way is that reasonable? Talk about male privilege!!