To be unsure about DS going to this party?

My son has always been one of the few boys invited to his best girl friend’s small princess parties are home (for her 3rd then 4th birthday). I saw it as wow she must really like my son! He went as a pirate, one of the other boys as Prince Charming. My son really enjoys party food, that’s always his favourite part of any party, the theme is irrelevant really 😂 all children loved pass the parcel and of course the balloons, cake and party bag! Hope this is of some reassurance.

My daughter is having a mermaid party for her 3rd birthday. Dress up is welcome but optional, her 2 best friends are boys. Hoping they will come as they are her absolute favourites!

Hope your son has fun if you decide to go 😊

Honestly I wouldn't overthink this at this stage, Op. Let DS have fun at the party. Once all the kids start school you'll find the whole NCT thing becomes less important as school friends tend to take over. He'll be part of a new social group and will forge his own friendships.

For me, this would be a group of friends I have for a season, rather than a reason. You met them at a particular time in your life, with something in common. Now it seems, not so much.

Could be this is about to run its course , not a bad thing, just time to move on.

My reading of this is that there are a couple of women in the group who aren’t keen on you and are using the point of difference to ‘other’ you a bit and hope you get the hint.

I do think the way DS was grudgingly invited was a bit rude but I’d say it’s possibly you they’re not fond of rather than him (sorry- just my interpretation of all of your posts).

He's not being subtly pushed out. You're assuming he won't like it. Let him go. Ask him what he'd like to wear. Send him. I'm sure there will be a spare outfit should he wish to be the same as others.

Coz most 4yr boys I know want spider man Partys or car parties

So wondered what your theme was for your sons 4th bday @leavehimthere

Sorry on app so can't quote a quote

I agree that the issue isn't the party itself, but the disconnect between you and the rest of the group.
I would pull out of the group, and if there are 1 or 2 individuals you feel closer to, you can always try to reconnect with them separately over a coffee or a playdate.

Otherwise, maybe give him the choice whether he wants to go or not? But really it should be based in whether he gets along with those kids rather than the theme of the party.

Actually as I’m petty I’d be tempted to take your DD along in a cute Elsa dress.

It's not obvious at all as your first post doesn't mention this and instead talks specifically about the princess them and that your DS is the only boy and probably won't enjoy it. You drip fed the half assed invite and attitude towards your son after most posts said YABU.

My eldest is a boy and I sort of know what you mean - I had similar vibes/comments from some mums of girls that were sometimes so subtle I wondered if it was me imagining it. (I now have DC of both sexes so I don’t think I’m projecting). I think if I were the birthday child’s parent I might have called it a Disney party, or Frozen/whatever party if I were inviting boys and girls, rather than stipulating Princesses only.

I would honestly step away from this group if they are making you feel this way - intentionally or otherwise.

Send him in his usual play clothes and obviously he will tell them he is not a girl nor a princess

@leavehimthere did he have fun?
Because that's what matters.

The way he was added on as an afterthought was rude, unless the organiser wasn’t sure your son would like a princess pary so was giving you an out? but at 4 as long as there are games and cake then they’re usually happy.

He could go as shrek… and chase the princesses 😂 or Olaf, or a reindeer … or a clock/candle ala beauty and the beast.

Was it a boys theme ?

You should have replied

Course we will be coming

Why wouidnt he

If you feel this is a push him out as a boy thing

What did you do for your sons 4th party - did all the 6 girls go

I don't think he's being pushed out, I think it's a chance thing he's been asked as maybe he's a favourite of the party girl. I would
Let him just pick fancy dress of his own, or his own clothes and I expect you'll be staying anyway and as others have said they'll all be running around playing and feral as 4 yos do.

My son used to get invited as the only boy to a few parties when he was quite young..

I held this sort of party for my daughter. Boys and girls came. By the end the rowdy, tough boys were on side and were happily sprinkling fairy dust everywhere and making wishes.

It’s an exceptionally rude way to “invite” someone. So dismissive.

they sound really irritating

He was invited to a party. The birthday child wants a princess party. It’s her choice, it’s her birthday. It’s not the birthday child ‘pushing him out’.

You and your archaic gender tropes about ‘boy’ things and ‘girl’ things are your problem. Not his. Not the birthday girl’s. Don’t reinforce those ideas. It’s toxic.

It’s a party. It’s fun. He’ll see games and food and cake and party bags and that’s about it.

All these issues sound like they’re totally yours from your perceived othering in your NCT group because you had the only boy.

I find it more sad that you think the birthday child should change their preferred plan for the sake of your DS. If she wants a princess party why the hell shouldn’t she have one?

I’ve been to many a princess party in the past, if there were boys who didn’t want to wear a princess outfit they were usually in superhero outfits or their own clothes.

I do think that people are very keen with children to reason that certain behaviours or preferences are to do with being a boy/girl and anything that questions that ultimately challenges a world view, and that can be too much for some people. Same for the new girl mum/boy mum thing. People want an identity even if it doesn't make much sense when you start to question it.

I also have an elder boy and younger girl too. What are we, a "both mum"? 😅

Wear anything nice.
Plus a cape if he has one.
Plus a crown made from cardboard and gold wrapping paper.
Sorted.