To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

As a child they said some really awful things but the worst was when I invited my mum along to our baby scan where we found out we were having a girl (which DH and I were delighted about, however my mum has yet to get the grandson she so desperately wants) and she just said ‘oh well, there’s always next time’. 🙃

It wasn't so much the things they said (though they were hurtful in themselves) it was the fact that they thought it was okay to say them- that was what led me to believe I was worthless. Not worth anything. I used to think, if I was normal, my parents wouldn't mock me, would they? I've had a wasted and sad life, but I'm okay.

"You deserved it" - my mum, to me, as I ran crying into the house after the 36 year old man who was grooming me punched me in the face. I was 16.

Told me I was responsible for my brother’s death because I was into new age stuff. I wasn’t into new age stuff when he died. He died from Septicemia. Nothing to do with me. I ran away over that one.

They also took me to have demons cast out of me when they found out I’d been sexually abused. Though technically they didn’t say that to me, they said it to the pastor.

I'm so sorry that your parents treated you this way 😔 this thread has been a real eye opener for me and not in a good way, I'm truly shocked.

Your parents should be your biggest cheerleaders. I'm sure mine were disappointed at some of my life choices, especially as a teenager 😬 but they always talked me up, told me I was beautiful and smart and they were always prepared to fight my corner. I feel very lucky. I lost my dad 10 years ago and I really miss him. My mum is in her 80s and frail now but we would do anything for her and take care of her as she took care of us all those years.

I loved my Mum very much but boy she did come out with some shit at times

When I was 19, I broke up with my first boyfriend after meeting someone at uni.
Stupid antics. I cringe at it now but so be it. My Mum said to me some time later 'well the reason you have all these spots on your face is fate teaching you a lesson... he'll break your heart like you broke xx's heart"

Out shopping with her a couple years ago, bumped into my Aunt who I hadn't seen since before covid. We walked away and my Mum said 'well I bet she's thinking hasn't TheBlueRobin gained some weight?' Didn't see anything wrong with her comments, never apologised and had a go at me for being in a mood about it.

My lovely Mum, flaws and all, died a few years ago. Her and my Dad had a very dysfunctional marriage but he struggled regardless. He had the nerve to say to me 'You know, I think losing a partner is MUCH WORSE than losing a parent'. I asked him not to say that me again and go elsewhere for sympathy.

My dad died when I was 9, so it was just DM and I for a long time. During that time, she viewed me as a partner and not a daughter. As I grew up and started to go out, she hated that I was becoming independent and hated me having boyfriends as they would 'take me away from her'
I was subjected to being called a slut and a slag more times than I care to remember...and in front of my poor boyfriends too. She did everything she could to put them off me. Luckily, my DH of 32 years was man enough to ignore all that and stand up to her.
She called me selfish all the time, but one of the worst things she said to me was that I was 'too selfish to have children'.
Unfortunately, she died the year my first daughter was born, before I fell pregnant, so she never got to meet my 2 amazing daughters and see what a great 'unselfish' mum I became.
The things she said to me are one thing, don't even get me started on the times she humiliated me and the things she physically and mentally inflicted on me over the years...

I had the same! Said he didn't like me until I had 'grown up' to which I figured was about 13 years that he didn't like me. He said I was precocious apparently. I think he thought he was giving me some sort of compliment.

The woman in the bed next to me in hospital had a big blonde boy and I think that was my baby and they gave me hers
You have the grace of a baby elephant
My little ugly duckling
Can you suck your stomach in? You look pregnant (I was 8)
Me and your dad are really worried about the size you are (I was an adult and size 14).

The worst though was he telling me everyone I knew was going to die at Armageddon and that I had been naughty so I would too.

Unsurprisingly we do not have great relationships now.

'If you moved out I'd probably just end it all'
When I tried to explain how upsetting it was to hear this, parent scoffed that it was 'just a flippant comment' and told me not to be so 'silly and sensitive'.

Mother, during a very rare row because I was the ‘good girl’: ‘You’re old enough and ugly enough to look after yourself.’
Me (aged 13): mildly answers back (again, rare)
Father: ‘Don’t speak to my wife like that you little bitch.’

All through my life: ‘You were a terrible baby. You cried all the time. I used to put your pram in the garden so we couldn’t hear you.’

It was always about their ‘love affair’ of a marriage. Me and my sibling were inconveniences.

When I was having such severe panic attacks aged 14 after my grandparent’s suicide that I had to come home from school: (both of them) ‘You’re swinging the lead’ (ie faking it)

When I told them aged 25 I was on antidepressants (for the third time, not that they knew about the first two times): ‘You’re not depressed, you’re just too sensitive and a hypochondriac!’

When we were struggling to conceive and were starting to look at adoption: ‘Well it takes a special sort of person to adopt and I don’t think that’s you.’ (Mother)

When I had very, very bad PND after eventual birth of first child, my dad said, angrily, ‘You’re not the first woman to have a baby, get over it.’

When I was struggling at a pivotal point in my career: ‘Oh I never worry about you. I do worry about your sibling though.’ My sibling (who I love, was labelled the ‘bad child’. She’s far more together, authentic, bright and stable than me.)

Plus all the usual comments about weight/beauty/desirability.

I have found the Raised by Narcissists subreddit very useful, btw. I’m not l/nc but I am very ‘surface/cheerful’ with them. They don’t know the real me.

Except my dad believing everything my brother ever told him, they’ve never, neither of them been cruel to me, said anything disrespectful. Even though I don’t see my dad often he’d never say anything like that to me, my mum defo not.

Truly awful.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

@Mumwithbaggage I’m so, so sorry that your mum did that to you. It’s sadistic.

When I was a teenager struggling with my mental health I finally summoned the courage to tell my mum that I was self harming in the hope that she would help me to feel better. She laughed at me and asked if this was fashionable now before rolling her eyes at me. I think she probably didn't know how to handle it and we do have a better relationship now but I've never forgotten it and the way it made me feel.

One of many nasty comments, but when I was about 10 my mum said that when people asked if I was her daughter, she always said no, that her daughter had died 2 years previously. For context, she had adopted me as a 3 year old, but lost her own natural daughter later on. I remember it like it was yesterday and that was over 40 years ago.

my life never belonged to me, my mother blamed me for being attacked at 11 and ending up in a hospital in the next town. she used me to get the police to move us, from 7 i was a latch key kid who had to look after my brother who was two years younger. i started cooking and ironing for a family of 5 when i was 12.

when i got a boyfriend at 14 i was told to chose him or them, just because i was happy. if i chose him i had to leave home. I got married at 21 to escape them, at 23 i was pregnant i ended up divorced and they brought me back into the fold big mistake on my part.

i met another and ended up pregnant when my daughter was 8, they convinced my daughter i would hate her and love the next one more. they indoctrinated her and i was too late in stopping it, i believed stupidly that i was there target nor her.

i finally cut contact, had my second daughter, then i fell into coercive control and domestic violence i went from the frying pan into the fire . . . took me another 5 years to get out of that. i never spoke to the parents again they died and i was sad my dad went but my biological mother i couldnt have cared a jot, she blamed me for her getting pregnant at 17 and forced to marry my dad who loved her unconditionally regardless of the numerous affairs she had along the way

“I wish you’d died instead of him” - two week after my dad passed away when I was 14.

“I’d stop eating if I were you, you’re getting rather wide” - said with a sneer to 15 year old me, who weighed 7.5st

Whenever I tried to assert myself she would threaten to put me in care where I'd be "treated much worse and beaten-up".

What an odd thing to say to a child.

• commenting on my weight every time she sees me
• pretending a trip was for my birthday and inviting someone else too on it. When I said i won’t be doing anywhere with that person she says ‘ i won’t enjoy a trip with you anyway’

“I love you more, I’ve always loved you more” - my mum to my younger brother, in front of me. I always knew it from a young age but hearing it was pretty heartbreaking

My mom once told me :
-I’m frigid.
-I’’m a slut
-I’m ugly and fat
-I’m having an affair with her bf

I was 16 at the time. No I wasn’t a slut, didn’t have a bf. Certainly not sleeping with her bf (my stepdad at the time) . I still have appearance issues and anxiety to this day . And yet I still talk to the vile washed up old cow, who thinks she was the best mother and now apparently grandmother ever ! Loads more to it but when I look back I think wow, I would never dream of saying that to my daughter