Is it really that weird?

i didn't send any of my children to nursery at all and yes people find it weird. they all started school in reception but never went to nursery or child minders despite being eligible for the hours i didn't care that they could go i decided not to send them

It's unusual these days for a child to start school without having had any experience of childcare, even if that is pre school.

It's generally agreed that pre school is a good preparation for school.

In your case it sounds like there are medical needs that make this more complicated. Are you looking at special school at all? There are special needs pre schools and they can be very good.

I grew up in the eighties, there was no playgroups but there was nursery at 3, for 3 hours a day.

My DDs born in 2000's went to preschool at 2 , twice a week for 3 hours and then nursery at 3.

Nowadays it's common for children to be in childcare from 9 months and there's much more childcare options to facilitate it.

My ds has asd I put him in nursery at two, mostly to see how he managed, to get some professional input into his development and also respite for me. I found it helped us prepare for what school might look like and staff put support in place that then continued into school.

I think mine were in nursery 5 mornings at 3.5 which sounds a lot but it was only 9-11.30 and then we'd go to the park, home for lunch, play and maybe nap before going to pick the older ones up from school at 3.30. It was fun for them and gave a bit of structure to the day.

I think it's different if your child has complex needs though. Do you have a local special school or are you thinking mainstream? A lot of special schools take children from 3. If you're happy with how things are now, I wouldn't worry. I grew up in the 70s and most children stayed at home with mum till school aged 5 and we weren't socially disadvantaged - we usually played with our mum's friends kids when they got together in the day.

Is your husband paying into a pension for you?

It sounds really lonely for you both to be honest and I’m saying that with sympathy and not judgement. It’s not what the threads about but what’s the rationale for home schooling?

@Brunetteshel unless you plan to homeschool you should apply for a school place even if you decide to delay his start.
It will get him in "the system" which can make a big difference with any therapies or help etc he could get 🙂

I think that's probably where I'm coming from. Locally 'nursery' tends to mean the free allocation that all children can access from age 3 & not any form of paid childcare (although you can now pay in some nursery settings for additional hours)

I agree with this but if @Brunetteshel you're happy that what you're doing is working for your wee one then do what you feel is best for them. It's worth considering ways to give them opportunities to mix with other children and to be apart from you in preparation for starting school, if going to school is your plan for them.

I think it doesn't help that in England we use the word "nursery" for both childcare which can start from baby age and for pre-school education which is part of the school system.
But they are different things.

My daughter was 3 years 4 months when she started pre school when the funded hours kicked in. No childcare except grandparents before then, I didn't need to work then. Went back to work when she was 4. It's not weird as all, she is a perfectly rounded 6.5 year old now.

Nursery is great for their development. They’ll struggle to jump into full time school imo.

Neither of mine went to childcare before primary. We did various clubs, library sessions and went swimming a few times a week etc. They were very happy children and both at the top of their class getting 'greater depth' on all their reports. Now going into secondary and thriving. I never really bother worrying what other people are doing with their children. Sounds like it's working for you OP.

@Brunetteshel my mum was a SAHM mum from pregnant with me and pretty poor/working class area here.
Just thought though it might depend what you mean by 'nursery' - for me, in my area, it would mean free pre-school available to all children from age 3, not paid childcare. So almost every child locally accessed that but paid childcare was not really a 'thing'.

I certainly think it’s unusual and not beneficial to your child, but people have the right to do things I personally wouldn’t.

And my mum was a SAHM from my birth till I was in secondary school but it was the do e thing around here to go to nursery. My DS and I also went to playgroup 3 mornings a week from about 2.5, DB didn't settle so didn't continue with it.
It's not so wild that they've not been anywhere but perhaps a bit more unusual as many families both parents tend to work these days.

By your own admission your child is happier at home due to his medical needs. So actually the weird action here would surely be to take him to nursery.

I don’t think I went to school until I was 4 and I didn’t go to childcare before then. My mum was a SAHM as were many of the mums in the village (or they worked part time). I was also an only child during this time. My mum took me to stay and play toddlers and playgroup and lots of other various groups so I could socialise. I think as long as you’re giving your child lots of opportunities to socialise with other children then it’s not an issue

Mine started the nursery class at the local primary the September after she was 3 so she was 3 years and 4 months.
It was 3 hours a day (the free 15 hours).
The two nursery classes was about 35 children.
I'd say is was split into about a third had been in daycare nurseries, a third at childminders for childcare and a third like mine who had been at home.
As long as you regularly go to activities like Stay and Play and Rhyme Time/Story Time etc then it's fine.
Edit to add : my childhood (early 80s) I went to playgroup from the age of 3. It wasn't every day but 3 hours a session and would have pretty much been similar to what nursery class/reception class is now before starting school the September after I was 5.