To think I’m not doing anything wrong

Not to play Monopoly. To give the children undivided attention while the neglectful parents play a game and have a sip of alcohol!

Well done. Glad you all survived. Hope dp has stopped being a stupid guy too.

Thank the Lord for that! Heavens above, wine and reading, has no one called Social Services? Will no one think of the children

PHEW!

Just remember to book a baby sitter the next time you even so much as sniff a liquor truffle in the presence of your children, which remember, as you had a glass of wine yesterday, shouldn’t be until April 2027, or you most definitely are a problem drinker.

And no more reading, eh? You must give your children you full, undivided attention at all times, even when they are begging you to piss off and let them play.

Or that only one parent can drink at a time?

Lads, if your children are terrified after you have one glass of wine, the problem isn't the wine. Its you. You're the problem.

And have one more monopoly opponent? I don’t think so!

😂😂😂😂

Me and DH had a glass of Bailey’s each the other night while playing monopoly with our DS! Should’ve called a babysitter!

What if the OP doesn't drive/doesn't have a car ?????

😂😂😂

My children are mid-20s, and have never yet needed me to drive them to hospital from the house. The only time I have driven someone from our house to the hospital, it was my DH - should I never drink anything at home, in case I need to drive him to hospital?

I agree with you there, legal prescription drugs can be worse at times. And you are right, a person with no experience of how wrong a relationship with alcohol can go wouldn’t think anything of it, so what works for every family is different. I’m very conscious of the medical research around there being a genetic component to addiction.

What DC do as adults isn’t our call but I’d obviously be upset by any drug taking because of the damage done to others along the chain of manufacturing/production and then dealing. Also I wouldn’t want my family members to commit any crime really! Drinking, it isn’t my decision, so I’d give advice around moderation but accept whatever choices are made by other adults. I won’t be making it a taboo or a big deal, I think that just makes kids want to do it more.

Yeah everyone is different and it definitely doesn’t bother all children, I just wouldn’t want to take the chance due to the experiences within both of our families. Everyone is different and there are definitely adults who could drink at home and everything would be fine. Just not my cup of tea.

OP, your husband is being very unreasonable. Enjoy that glass of wine before the back to work routine begins.

@adviceneeded1990 I think we have very different attitudes to alcohol and drugs for understandable reasons. I don’t come from a family background of addiction, bingeing or struggling with self-control. I’m not ‘horrified’ by a parent smoking a joint. And I’ve seen legal (prescription) drugs do terrible things to people too.

For your family, abstinence is your preference. I respect that.

How will you feel if your children drink and use drugs?

But there’s a big different between an alcohol (functional or not) and someone having 1-2 glasses of wine (or other alcohol) occasionally.

I grew up spending weekdays with my mum and weekends with my grandma. My grandma would have a glass of wine with dinner and either another glass of wine or a glass of brandy at bedtime. If I didn’t physically see her drinking it, I wouldn’t have ever known. My mum is an alcoholic (thankfully now in recovery) who drank all day every day.

I felt safe with my grandma and I loved being there. Her two glasses of alcohol did not make me nervous, I didn’t sense her drinking or anything “off” about her.

I have no issues with alcohol. I rarely drink and haven’t in a few years although that’s more down to being pregnant etc. I know my limits when I do drink. Whilst I wouldn’t personally have a drink at home in the evening, I don’t see anything wrong with someone else doing this as long as they are still able to function properly if their children were to need something.

You're fine. Your DH is being a kill joy.

A quiet glass of wine whilst reading is not a big deal. He is not the boss of you.
He's been out doing what he likes without a thought to what you might like.

Correct. The 12 days of Christmas end on 12th night (i.e. tomorrow). Your DH needs to understand his festivals.

I wouldn’t no, she’s always asleep before I’d go home. DH will have one or two with food then come home with us and to be honest I’d rather even that didn’t happen but it’s very rare and I’m very aware my views around alcohol and children are on the extreme end so obviously I compromise! I don’t expect everyone to think or behave like I do, I’ve got teetotal friends and family members and ones who really really like a drink! I wouldn’t expect anyone else to change their behaviour. These threads are just opinion gathering.

Sounds fine to me!

Who made him the boss of who can drink what, when?

Technically it is still Christmas anyway, even though most of the UK seems to have decided Christmas is from 1-26 December rather than 25 December until 6Jan. Myself included, but that’s not the traditional dates.

You said the kids will see or sense a difference in you after 1 or 2 drinks. But you both will have 1 or 2 drinks then go home to your kids?

No. I drink 2-3 times a year either when my DH is at home and sober or my parents are babysitting. If he is having a pint with food then I’m not drinking because I’d be driving us home.

My DH and his siblings were raised by two functioning alcoholics and it 100% made them very anxious and on edge and they all struggled to have a normal relationship with alcohol themselves in their younger days. All four have accessed help for mental health struggles and have reflected on a childhood centred around alcohol being a big reason for this.

My Dad was also raised by an alcoholic and remembers knowing by his Dad’s voice how many beers he’d had well before he was drunk.

I’m well aware that alcoholism on both sides of our family has coloured our views but we will do everything possible to protect our own family from the damage alcohol does. It’s a dangerous yet normalised and socially acceptable drug - if someone had said they’d had two lines of coke or smoked a joint while their kids played upstairs you’d be horrified, yet I’ve seen plenty people take illegal drugs and it change their behaviour less than a few drinks does for others.

Don't be ridiculous. You'd be monitoring his drinking for one glass of wine?

The scene brings to mind a Hogarth etching of Gin Lane haha!

Goodness knows what they think of loving, capable parents who are functioning heroin addicts or addicted to prescription opiates.