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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m not doing anything wrong

459 replies

Viserrisk · 04/01/2025 15:12

Back to work on Monday after a lovely 2 weeks off! I’m currently reading a book (well I was before I came on here) with a glass of wine and left over Pringles from Christmas.

DH was out doing his hobby and he’s just come back home and asked me why I was drinking. I said I’m having a glass of wine, not exactly having shots rolling around everywhere. He said that I shouldn’t be drinking while looking after DC and that drinking alone in the house when it’s not Christmas anymore is “weird” DC1 is upstairs in their room and DC2 is sat on the floor playing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Viserrisk · 04/01/2025 15:34

The only reason I decided to have a glass was because I was feeling really relaxed reading my book and the kids were behaving for once😄 so I just thought why not? It’s not something I’ll do all the time (if ever again possibly)

I’ve just ignored his comments. Can’t be bothered getting into a discussion about it

OP posts:
GoldsolesLugs · 04/01/2025 15:33

Have you talked about the "driving the kids to hospital" thing before? As PP have said, taxis are a thing, but it will take longer, which might be a factor in getting to A and E. I think you and your DH need to communicate and come to an agreement about what level of risk you are both happy with. This doesn't sound like he's being weird and controlling (assuming he doesn't try to control you in other ways).

deconstructingKaren · 04/01/2025 15:33

i don’t drink ( Muslim ) and I am annoyed on your behalf. I would have had a row and said you have been out and I have been looking after the kids ! It is one glass of wine, next time have more !

Rosscameasdoody · 04/01/2025 15:31

Dobbythechristmaself · 04/01/2025 15:18

Grow up. This old bullshit.

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Not to mention the assumption that OP actually drives !!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/01/2025 15:31

Chowtime · 04/01/2025 15:17

Yes YABU - what if one of your children needed to be taken to hospital and you were over the limit to drive?

Don't be ridiculous.

Rosscameasdoody · 04/01/2025 15:29

Chowtime · 04/01/2025 15:17

Yes YABU - what if one of your children needed to be taken to hospital and you were over the limit to drive?

There are taxis - y’ know, the things people who don’t drive use. And you posted without knowing if op actually drives or not. Her DH was out doing his hobby - how come he gets to relax and do as he likes but OP doesn’t ? I despair of MN sometimes.

newyearnewme2025 · 04/01/2025 15:29

you have children/child so the relationship is clearly not new, is this the very first time ever you have drunk a glass of wine at home??

fairycakes1234 · 04/01/2025 15:29

Viserrisk · 04/01/2025 15:24

No reason at all to be concerned about my drinking. I rarely drink. I don’t do “nights out” anymore. I only really have a couple if I’m out having a meal or on holiday. I was just finishing off the left over wine from New Year’s Eve.

DC are 4 and 8

Well then you already know yanbu, sounds strange sitting having a glass of wine for the sake of it in the afternoon, why not wait till the evening. I'm a wine drinker but wouldn't be bothered in the afternoon

Pigsinblankets13 · 04/01/2025 15:29

gamerchick · 04/01/2025 15:26

I'd pour another one..he's back now to take over sole childcare duties.

This and slurp it really loudly with a 'ahhh' after every sip 😂

labamba007 · 04/01/2025 15:28

I don't drink but there's absolutely nothing wrong with this. I'd be having words with him about it. Did you have an argument?

HaggardyOldSkin · 04/01/2025 15:28

I drink quite a bit some evenings but wouldn’t drink mid afternoon. However that’s more because if I did I’d drink more than one and then probably fall asleep from 6-9pm and wake up feeling pants.

Chocolately · 04/01/2025 15:27

Tell him he's being "weird".
Also, he's not the boss of you. Ffs🙄

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 04/01/2025 15:27

I rarely drink at home and it wouldn't ever enter my head to have a glass without dp here. Having said that, I'd be telling your dh to fuck off, frankly.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 04/01/2025 15:26

Chowtime · 04/01/2025 15:17

Yes YABU - what if one of your children needed to be taken to hospital and you were over the limit to drive?

Get a taxi ? 🙄

Original poster
Viserrisk · 04/01/2025 15:26

@ButFirstCovfefe I love trifle😋 Texas bbq sauce!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 04/01/2025 15:26

I'd pour another one..he's back now to take over sole childcare duties.

LadyKenya · 04/01/2025 15:25

Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/01/2025 15:23

By that token, are you implying that all those who don't drive or don't have cars are somehow neglectful?

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Bit of a stretch!

BobbyBiscuits · 04/01/2025 15:25

What an arse. Has he had alcoholics on his family? Is he usually wary of you drinking?
I'd not be happy. In fact it would probably raise my anxiety to the point I'd need more to drink!

Original poster
Viserrisk · 04/01/2025 15:24

No reason at all to be concerned about my drinking. I rarely drink. I don’t do “nights out” anymore. I only really have a couple if I’m out having a meal or on holiday. I was just finishing off the left over wine from New Year’s Eve.

DC are 4 and 8

OP posts:
MauveVelcro · 04/01/2025 15:24

Sitting and drinking a glass of wine at 3pm, when you're in charge of children young enough to sit on the floor and play seems very odd to me.

If I came home to dh in this exact scenario I'd probably be of the same opinion as op's dh. And whilst I wouldn't make a song and dance of it, I'd be secretly watching dh's alcohol consumption in future tbph, in case I'd missed something.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/01/2025 15:23

Chowtime · 04/01/2025 15:17

Yes YABU - what if one of your children needed to be taken to hospital and you were over the limit to drive?

By that token, are you implying that all those who don't drive or don't have cars are somehow neglectful?

ButFirstCovfefe · 04/01/2025 15:23

Sounds bloody wonderful OP!

I’ve been making a trifle and had to taste test the sherry, just to make sure. Currently waiting for the custard layer to set enough to put the cake on (made my own custard and everything) with a cat on my lap and a wee dram of sherry. Trifle is a nostalgic nod for a friend’s big birthday.

OH is giving our 3 year old a bath ready to go to grandma’s for a sleepover.

Enjoy your book!
(and what flavour Pringles?)

FriendsDrinkBook · 04/01/2025 15:21

Also , how old are the kids? I'm always confused with this dc1 business. Is that the child's age?

And would you be okay with him having a drink while parenting solo?

FriendsDrinkBook · 04/01/2025 15:20

I think one glass is absolutely fine.

Does he have any reason to worry about your drinking op?

KezzaMucklowe · 04/01/2025 15:19

Of course it's fine.
Is he always this uptight?