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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is rude and weird re a Christmas present

92 replies

bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:20

I muddled up a friends present with another friends present . Genuine mistake and I apologised. Anyway I sorted it .One of the friends thought it was really funny. I took the other friend her “proper gift” last night and she was really shitty and weird. She said “don’t you ever do this to me again” WTF ?. Asked me if her gift actually ever existed before Christmas. Not even a thank you . AIBU to think this was rude and weird and a total over reaction ?

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WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 04/01/2025 22:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

How do I find these other threads please? I’m new to this

SantoriniSunrise · 04/01/2025 21:38

Reminds me of when a friend once re-gifted me a present that one of our other friends had given her! I knew she'd done it as I'd gone Xmas shopping with the friend who'd bought her that particular present. I never said anything to either friend as didn't want to cause any trouble, but did think she was a complete CF to do it!

You have done nothing wrong by the way, your friend is behaving like a primadonna!

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 04/01/2025 21:13

Crikey, you have a very dramatic life!

Chickenwing2 · 04/01/2025 21:09

How do you search someone's previous threads? When I search OP name only 2 come up that are non related...

Tink3rbell30 · 04/01/2025 20:43

I hope you took it straight back.

Sprogonthetyne · 04/01/2025 20:26

Getuptherenow · 04/01/2025 15:40

Going against the grain but I'd be peeved if the giver suddenly changed my gift. You should have said nothing and then just given another bottle of Prosecco to the other friend as well as the vodka. Half a bottle of vodka is a bit miserable anyway. It should be a full bottle of alcohol if you're giving it. She sounds a bit rude but I think you were also a bit rude and thoughtless. Just my two cents.

I think she meant a smaller sized half bottle (35cl instead of 70cl), but still full and sealed. A bottle she'd drunk half of would indeed have been grim.

MermaidEyes · 04/01/2025 20:07

Having had a quick look at some of the OPs other threads, I remember some of them now. I think she's someone who takes every little annoyance or grievance to MN, whereas the rest of us will just have a mood and a chunter to ourselves then move on.

MyRedTurtle · 04/01/2025 17:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SabreIsMyFave · 04/01/2025 16:58

Jennyathemall · 04/01/2025 16:49

Try reading her (many, many) others!

Oooooh, I will - in a minute!

Jennyathemall · 04/01/2025 16:49

SabreIsMyFave · 04/01/2025 16:32

@bagpuss90 · Today 13:39

And I might add- I make most of my own cards, I spent a good hour making her Christmas card

WTF? Who spends an HOUR making ONE Christmas card??? Confused

This thread gets wackier by the minute! 😂

Try reading her (many, many) others!

SabreIsMyFave · 04/01/2025 16:32

@bagpuss90 · Today 13:39

And I might add- I make most of my own cards, I spent a good hour making her Christmas card

WTF? Who spends an HOUR making ONE Christmas card??? Confused

This thread gets wackier by the minute! 😂

SabreIsMyFave · 04/01/2025 16:29

@bagpuss90 · Today 13:31

Okay - they were both alcohol . One was Prosecco the other a half bottle of Vodka - similar value around a tenner . One drinks one the other drinks the other. No alcohol problems. Both had other little bits to open in their gift bags. I was with one when she opened hers and it was oh shit sorry - you were meant to get Prosecco

So, you gave her something worth a tenner, instead of something worth a tenner?

I'm confused........ I thought you'd given her a chocolate orange, and the other person a bottle of Chanel No 5.

You gave Vodka instead of prosecco, and they were worth the same.

None of this is making sense to me.

BetterWithPockets · 04/01/2025 16:20

I did exactly the same thing this year, OP — both friends perfectly nice/normal about it…

Bogginsthe3rd · 04/01/2025 16:16

Next year you text, "just to let you know I haven't forgotten you, I'm just not sending you a present."
You have a year to look forward to sending that text.

chattyness · 04/01/2025 16:16

She said “don’t you ever do this to me again” WTF ?. Asked me if her gift actually ever existed before Christmas. Not even a thank you

I would have said something like "yes it did exist before Christmas, but now it doesn't " & I'd have taken it back and walked away

diddl · 04/01/2025 16:09

If she/guests had drunk some or all of it though why wouldn't she say that?

alijchappell · 04/01/2025 16:08

I’d have taken the present back and walked straight out.

SomethingUniqueThisTime · 04/01/2025 15:54

Personally I would have found it quite rude for someone to give me a gift and then want it back to swap for something else. It seems slapdash and lacking in care and that is not want what giving gifts should be or feel like to the recipient. It could also imply they are swapping because one of the friends had a ‘better’ gift than the other.
it sounds like you may have previously messed up gift giving if the put out friend told you not to do this again.

purplecorkheart · 04/01/2025 15:49

Is she worried about her drinking or something and maybe thinks that you are giving her a message with the half bottle or is someone in her life giving out about her drinking.

Otherwise her reaction was super off and rude.

Getuptherenow · 04/01/2025 15:40

Going against the grain but I'd be peeved if the giver suddenly changed my gift. You should have said nothing and then just given another bottle of Prosecco to the other friend as well as the vodka. Half a bottle of vodka is a bit miserable anyway. It should be a full bottle of alcohol if you're giving it. She sounds a bit rude but I think you were also a bit rude and thoughtless. Just my two cents.

Needanewname42 · 04/01/2025 15:40

Rosscameasdoody · 04/01/2025 15:18

Possibly that when she was asked to hand it back, she’d already drunk it ?

Yes or if she didn't drink it someone else did, partner, guests over Christmas.

It's such an odd reaction there has to be more to it.

EdithBond · 04/01/2025 15:38

YANBU.

But, sometimes, I understand my friends are snappy or rude when under a lot of pressure, if I’ve unintentionally touched a nerve (maybe no one got her a thoughtful gift?) or if they’re pre-menstrual or menopausal.

If this is out of character for her, I’d forget it. If she’s always been like that, I guess you either accept it’s what she’s like and love her anyway, say you find it rude or focus on politer friends.

Cbirch177 · 04/01/2025 15:29

super weird reaction... honestly i wouldnt stay friends with the one who freaked out. also if it had been me i would probably just go with it, every household who likes cocktails needs both anyway :)

Pigsinblankets13 · 04/01/2025 15:20

Give her a bottle of wee next year, ungrateful mare

Rosscameasdoody · 04/01/2025 15:18

Needanewname42 · 04/01/2025 15:14

I think you could be on to something there. She was obviously offended by the vodka for some reason.

Or maybe she opened in front of family, who were thinking, great I'll have that? Or they were thinking fizzy wine is acceptable to ladies but vodka isn't.

While her attitude is really odd but I'd be curious to what the real issue was.

Possibly that when she was asked to hand it back, she’d already drunk it ?