AIBU to be genuinely upset about a guy ghosting me on an online dating app?

It's different for everyone. Some people I've matched with and met them the next day. With (now) DH we chatted for nearly a month before we met up...we both have kids so it was difficult to organise a child-free day. We matched on Tinder 6 years ago.

Ghosting is sadly all too common...it's easy when you haven't met the person to forget they're real and have feelings. I'd be far more upset at what your so-called friend said. Fuck her and find some better friends.

I met DH on there (not looking for a casual thing), so did two of my closet friends.

there's no need. Just meet him up and see how it goes.
I have a missing bit of breast (cancer surgery) that I feel very insecure about. I don't tell people before meeting them. I'm not wasting their time or mine by not telling them this, either.

You have pics where he can see you so there's no need to specify highlight you being overweight. It never stopped me getting attention and going on dates. However if you feel/think that you are undateable because of that then it's something you need to work on before dating.

I always thought Tinder was for more casual things, not a serious dating app.

Didn't say there aren't men on regular dating apps that aren't into bbw. I said her confidence needs the boost from a shitty friend telling her not to bother dating until she loses weight. The apps aren't catered to plus size men, there are "normal" men on them.

OP it's not nice but if you're going to use dating apps you've got to get a thicker skin. They're not particularly nice places and you may experience worse than this.

There are dating apps specifically for overweight people, join one or more of them. Your confidence needs a boost and at least you wont blame your weight if you are ghosted on them.

Your friend needs ghosted though. She's not your friend.

The guy could have a thousand reasons for unmatching. Including getting banned from the app. Don't waste so much time in future, a week is enough to work out if you want to meet someone.

Onwards and upwards @AvidBee

Definitely not!

The person on the other end of the screen could be an 80 year old guy for all you know!

The ‘person’ you are talking to isn’t real…..it’s just someone typing on a screen who could be pretending to be anything they want to be. The weeks of messaging and “getting to know each other” could be just be a total illusion, a fantasy they are creating.

Send a few messages and then arrange to meet up. You will never know who someone really is until you meet them.

Online dating is just awful. If you can’t cope with being ghosted I would consider trying to meet people in other ways. My experience from OLD is pretty awful, I’ve lost count of how many times I have been ghosted and lied too, I would rather stay single than go back to it.

You need a thick skin with online dating. Most likely you will come across tons of crap but you just have to keep going until you meet that someone. It's frustrating and annoying at times but so worth it if/when you meet that person who it works with.
I did online dating for several years and in my opinion there's no point chatting with someone longer than 1-5 days before meeting them to see if there's anything in real life to continue exploring. And I would have a phone call with the person before agreeing on meeting to figure out if you get along on the phone. Phone calls got me rid of several men I got along chatting but when talking they were definitely no.
Good luck! 😊

Your mate is a knobhead...

I'd look to try to arrange meeting for a coffee within a week when chatting. Any longer and they think it's a non starter. Also you don't want to drag it out in case you don't hit it off in person.

OLD is playing the numbers game, you'll have a load of chats that will fizzle quickly. Don't get over invested too soon.

Why stay for a 3 hour date then? I’ve met a guy who was older and much shorter than he claimed and said straight away ‘no sorry, this is a waste of our time’ and gone shopping on my own rather than spend time in a liars company

There are a 1000 reasons he may have unmatched. He may have met the love of his life. He may have deleted his profile because he was fed up of apps. You'll have no idea. Forget about him.
But you don't need to come off the apps. Just don't leave it 10 days before meeting. Dont invest lots of time texting and flirting. Establish quickly if you can meet for a coffee, meet up and decide if he's worth meeting again. Then you can text and flirt etc.
Spend ZERO time worrying about those who ghost you. You'll never know why and it's not worth it.

Lots of folk on these apps are only on for a laugh… the trick is to chat and then if they don’t suggest meeting within a few days, unmatch. And don’t get ahead of yourself in your mind….

Why would you do that? Surely taking 5 seconds to message someone to say "It was nice to meet you but we're not a good match." isn't that hard? Basic courtesy. Why would you need to block someone when they haven't done anything wrong and you've no reason to think they won't accept a "no" in good grace and leave it at that? Weird.

Thinking about this, it could have nothing to do with you, more to do with him.
I have never been on an internet dating site, but I know younger people who have.
Maybe this man is more comfortable chatting online, when he sensed you were going to suggest a meeting, he got cold feet and blocked you.

As soon as I know I'm interested I propose a meet up. You'll never know whether you're genuinely attracted to each other and compatible until you do, so for me, there's no point in messaging for long at all.
I always propose meeting up in a busy place, so I feel safe, and I always have somewhere to go afterwards. If I like them, I suggest swapping phone numbers.