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AIBU?

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I think I've been ghosted.

132 replies

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 11:56

Hello, never posted here before. But need some words of encouragement. I think I've been ghosted and it's made me feel horrendous. Dating a man for a few weeks. Quite close, Last spent new years eve together. Cuddling, kissing. Last heard from him 3 days ago.

Before anyone asks why i haven't messaged him. It's because the majority of the time I'm the one doing the messaging first. So I tried to take a step back and not do that all the time.

I feel like a right tit that he's ghosted me. It's never happened to me before. I've been going over in my head what I've done wrong. But I dont actually think it's anything that I have done. It's horrible. Why can't people just communicate. I'd rather he just text to say he didn't like me. I feel so shit.

OP posts:
Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 12:18

Thanks for the replies. The reason I haven't messaged him is because, I always do the reaching out first. Very seldom did he. His last message was "I'll give you a text tomorrow goodnight x" So I just assumed he would.

I don't want to reach out to him because if he wanted to talk to me, he would. He obviously doesn't. Which is a bit hurtful but I'll have to suck it up. I just wish I hadn't spent my time with him if I knew I'd be ghosted.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 04/01/2025 12:14

You don't know what's actually happened. It's been 3 days. Send him a message. If he doesn't reply, then you can think about being ghosted. But for now, you're both doing the exact same thing!

OkayLetMeKnowHowItGoes · 04/01/2025 12:11

So you aren’t messaging him because he hasn’t messaged you.

What if he isn’t messaging you because you haven’t messaged him?

A vicious circle where nobody wins.

travelforthesoul · 04/01/2025 12:09

I think efforts should be matched, if he is not making any effort then he is not worth it. Maybe you should reframe this in your mind to you ghosting him!

hockeysticks89 · 04/01/2025 12:08

Fair play to you for not being too eager and for following your gut instinct. It shouldn't be one sided at this stage. If you don't hear from him again consider yourself lucky you found out early that either he's not as in to you, or he plays games. He'll respect you more for this. Fingers crossed for you

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 12:05

Namechange2272 · 04/01/2025 12:02

Am I right in thinking ghosting is if they ignore the message? Have you messaged him? Has the messaging frequency changed?

Yeah that's right. And no, because we're at a stage in the dating that I don't know if it's worth messaging because it hasn't been that long and i don't want to come across as some bunny boiler. But it hasn't been just one date either. If that makes sense.

OP posts:
Namechange2272 · 04/01/2025 12:02

Am I right in thinking ghosting is if they ignore the message? Have you messaged him? Has the messaging frequency changed?