I think I've been ghosted.

All I've done is match the same energy and funnily enough I haven't heard a peep from him

Yes but to him, this could be a big change from your norm. So he perhaps is thinking you've changed your mind too...

For goodness sake - just message him

I would think ghosting is when you message them and they ignore you.

This just seems like him not being interested so he won’t be proactive in messaging. I have done this in honesty.

If you message him he may say he is not interested.

So here’s the thing. If you have an actual conversation with someone, you know, face to face, and you say have the last word, do you then not speak to them again unless they speak first? Because it’s the same thing here.

It doesn’t have to be about who texted last and if it was you you’re going to wait for a text. Just bloody well say hello.

Did you reply to his message when he said speak to you romorrow or just read it and leave it. Because if you just read it then it looks to me like you ghosted him not the other way round. Something might have come up for him and he couldn’t text you first thing, then when you didn’t message him at all he thought sod it like I would and didn’t message. Dating is hard and sometimes you have to make the effort.

Christ, does everyone OLD get involved in this level of game playing?

It’s simple, neither of you have ghosted anyone - you’ve just stopped talking.

If you want to speak to him then stop playing games and message him. Only if he doesn’t reply does it count as having been ghosted. It’s not hard, but people make it hard.

People fall into habits and roles very quickly. If you are usually the instigator then it’s entirely possible he’s waiting to hear from you.

I would stop playing games and send a straightforward text saying hi, how are you doing? If he replies you’ll know you aren’t ghosted.

When you actually meet then have a conversation about communication. It’s so vital in making relationships work and so many people aren’t good at it.

Had exactly the same thing happen to me last week. Pathetic, cowardly behaviour. Better to be out now than for him to do this further down the line. I know how much it hurts, even if it’s just been a short time and it doesn’t say anything bad about you that you’re upset. You will get over this.

To clarify I absolutely haven't ghosted him. Why would I? I really like him

But you said "I don't want to reach out to him because if he wanted to talk to me, he would." How do you know he's not doing the same thing? By refusing to message him, you absolutely are ghosting him, no matter how many times you say you're not. Or don't call it ghosting, call it playing childish games.

After he said "I'll give you a text tomorrow goodnight x", did you reply at all? Even an "ok speak tomorrow"?

You've set a boundary and expected him to somehow know this without communicating it to him.

He expected things to carry on as usual, you didn't want it to (absolutely fair enough), but you're now saying he has ghosted you, when he's probably wondering why you haven't messaged him as usual.

It's probably best to just leave things at this point because the communication between you is really off.

Both of you are doing the exact same thing. Fair enough if you don't want to text him but at least take responsibility for your decision. There is really no need to get into a victim mentality by suggesting he ghosted you. He didn't. He made a promise he didn't keep. He was the last person who texted and you haven't replied. So that's you doing the ghosting. You are free to do what you want.

You've ghosted one another. However, given that the last message was him saying he will text and he hasn't, this is way more on him. I wouldnt text, if he wanted to he would. He may be thinking the same about you, but his communication style is shite if he never really texts first and doesn't text first even when he says he will. I'd say sadly he's not that into you, sorry.

Tbh if you usually text first he probably thinks you've ghosted him.

That's what I thought.

So if he hadn’t said “I’ll text you tomorrow” then it wouldn’t be ghosting?

Struggling to see the difference between yours and his behaviour here.

My first date of OLD stood me up. There have been some much better dates since. There are a lot of rubbish people on line, but not everyone is.

You just need to date a few men at the same time so you don't care about any single one of them/don't put all your eggs in one basket as much early on.

It really is cowardly. I'd rather he just say he's not into me. Even though his actions when we're together don't come across that way.

But you don't know that he's doing this! All you know is he hasn't messaged. There could be any number of reasons for that. All we can say for now is that you are definitely ghosting him because you have made the choice not to message him.

Ghosting is really cowardly.

He maybe liked you making all the effort.

I would not text him or a make any effort at all

Can you find another date? I'd go out with someone else just to keep me occupied.