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Original poster

I think I've been ghosted.

132 replies

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 11:56

Hello, never posted here before. But need some words of encouragement. I think I've been ghosted and it's made me feel horrendous. Dating a man for a few weeks. Quite close, Last spent new years eve together. Cuddling, kissing. Last heard from him 3 days ago.

Before anyone asks why i haven't messaged him. It's because the majority of the time I'm the one doing the messaging first. So I tried to take a step back and not do that all the time.

I feel like a right tit that he's ghosted me. It's never happened to me before. I've been going over in my head what I've done wrong. But I dont actually think it's anything that I have done. It's horrible. Why can't people just communicate. I'd rather he just text to say he didn't like me. I feel so shit.

OP posts:
peachystormy · 04/01/2025 15:55

BringMeTea · 04/01/2025 15:45

Ignore the VERY obvious goaders OP. They get a tiny thrill from a reaction.

Your bang on.

Original poster
Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:51

BringMeTea · 04/01/2025 15:45

Ignore the VERY obvious goaders OP. They get a tiny thrill from a reaction.

I know 😐 sorry I posted now haha

OP posts:
Original poster
Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:49

GoldsolesLugs · 04/01/2025 15:48

She wants to be chased.

Show quote history

You're genuinely reaching saying that. Considering I've done all the reaching out majority of the time.

OP posts:
GoldsolesLugs · 04/01/2025 15:48

MrsSchrute · 04/01/2025 15:48

But why would it make you look like a dick? And to who?

Show quote history

She wants to be chased.

MrsSchrute · 04/01/2025 15:48

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:47

What is with the hash tags? I'm not complaining. Speaking about it's made me feel isn't complaining. In my opinion.

I'm not complaining he hasn't text either. I just wanted to put my feelings down into words instead of sending him ANOTHER text and making myself look a right dick.

Show quote history

But why would it make you look like a dick? And to who?

Original poster
Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:47

baileys6904 · 04/01/2025 15:39

He's not ghosted you.

For some reason you think your times being wasted if you text him, but not coming on here and complaining about him instead for much longer than a simple text would have taken

#winningatlife

What is with the hash tags? I'm not complaining. Speaking about it's made me feel isn't complaining. In my opinion.

I'm not complaining he hasn't text either. I just wanted to put my feelings down into words instead of sending him ANOTHER text and making myself look a right dick.

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 04/01/2025 15:45

Ignore the VERY obvious goaders OP. They get a tiny thrill from a reaction.

ShelleyCarpenter · 04/01/2025 15:42

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:17

I fully accept he's not that into me btw. It happens. The only thing that hurts is the ghosting and how he can be all over me, being extremely attentive to literally disappearing off the face of the earth.

I'm not lowering myself to put myself in a position of texting him and him portraying me as a needy woman. Which I'm not. Obviously that might not happen and he might be bang in to me. But I doubt that. Him not messaging has already proven he's just not that into me.

You are right not to text him. If he wanted to see you he would have been in touch. I’m sorry this has happened to you but better you found out what he it’s really like now than further down the line, when it would have been even more hurtful.

baileys6904 · 04/01/2025 15:39

He's not ghosted you.

For some reason you think your times being wasted if you text him, but not coming on here and complaining about him instead for much longer than a simple text would have taken

#winningatlife

OurDreamLife · 04/01/2025 15:29

It’s weird behaviour or low effort at best. Men are usually even more full on after kissing and cuddling, not doing a disappearing act.

He’s either not happy he didn’t have sex on NYE or if he did he’s got what he wanted and lost interest by the sound of it.

TammyJones · 04/01/2025 15:25

Not sure if I missed it, but you said kissing and cuddling.
Maybe he was hoping for more , and has found an easier option ( someone else)

Original poster
Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:17

I fully accept he's not that into me btw. It happens. The only thing that hurts is the ghosting and how he can be all over me, being extremely attentive to literally disappearing off the face of the earth.

I'm not lowering myself to put myself in a position of texting him and him portraying me as a needy woman. Which I'm not. Obviously that might not happen and he might be bang in to me. But I doubt that. Him not messaging has already proven he's just not that into me.

OP posts:
smallsilvercloud · 04/01/2025 15:17

You have been ghosted, he said he would message the next day and now it's been 3... you are right, you cannot always be the one to message first, he probably would reply if you did but he's not bothered enough to get in touch and tbh this would be put right off now because you know he isn't as keen as you. Don't let him put you off looking again for someone else, just learn from it.

crumbsonmyface · 04/01/2025 15:16

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:05

I understand the posters saying to message him. But i won't be.

For these reasons.

He's been online multiple times, so i know he's NOT dead.

I sent the last text so the ball was left in his court.

He was the one who said he'd text me the next day.

If he wanted to, he's kind of man who would.

Good on you! I can't understand all these posts making excuses and giving reasons why he hasn't messaged. He hasn't messaged, he's not making any effort. That whole thing people say "if he likes you, you'll know" is 100% true! someone who values you would put the time and energy in and be excited to message you - but 3 days?! No thanks - you deserve better than waiting around. Also find that with guys if you continue to message, they just see it as an easy way to keep you on the hook for when they randomly want sex (this happened to me and friends of mine too).

Sorry, it is shit :(

SunnyHappyPeople · 04/01/2025 15:15

Don't send him a message.

When guys are really keen, they show it. They message, call and make sure to set up the next date. He said he would message you.

Yeah, sorry but forget him and find someone worth your time. Some guys are cowards

Northernlightx · 04/01/2025 15:15

Dating is so hard, I’m sorry ❤️‍🩹

Phobiaphobic · 04/01/2025 15:14

OP, I'm sorry, it's painful to accept, but he's just not that into you. You deserve someone who is crazy about you, and someone like that does not leave you hanging and wondering. Don't short change yourself with men like this.

TammyJones · 04/01/2025 15:14

Marleigh0 · 04/01/2025 13:13

You're not doing the ghosting, you replied to his last message. He said he would text and he never. I wouldn't chase him.

This
If a man's interested wild horses couldn't stop him contacting you.

SnickerDoodledoo · 04/01/2025 15:11

MrsSchrute · 04/01/2025 15:08

Totally your choice op.

But I really don't think he has done much wrong here.

Show quote history

He hasn’t been the one to start the previous conversations. People seem to be missing that point..

If you were the one to initiate the vast majority of conversations with a date, would you believe he was into you?

hideawayforever · 04/01/2025 15:11

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:05

I understand the posters saying to message him. But i won't be.

For these reasons.

He's been online multiple times, so i know he's NOT dead.

I sent the last text so the ball was left in his court.

He was the one who said he'd text me the next day.

If he wanted to, he's kind of man who would.

Good for you.

OurDreamLife · 04/01/2025 15:11

You having to message first says a lot. Was he texting or just responding?

I’d stop chasing him as he doesn’t seem overly interested.

changecandles · 04/01/2025 15:09

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 12:56

To clarify I absolutely haven't ghosted him. Why would I? I really like him. All I've done is match the same energy and funnily enough I haven't heard a peep from him. We spent new years eve together. Cuddling, kissing etc at his place. Why would I ghost him after making the effort to drive there. I could've spent it with friends.

Anyway, he has my number. I keep telling myself, if he wanted to then he would.

Edited

So you haven't ghosted him but he has ghosted you as far as you are concerned. But you've actually done the same thing. Neither of you has messaged. So how do you know he's not thinking you've ghosted him?

FKAT · 04/01/2025 15:08

I get you OP. It's not about who sent the last message. It's about you being at the point where you've got to ask yourself if this man/relationship is worth further investment and energy. You could text him, arrange a date, go on a few dates and be a few months down the line and you will still be the one making the effort. Or he could just be keeping you on as an ego boost/shag. If that's what you want, no problem. But you want a relationship with a man who matches your energy and is really motivated to contact you and do what he says he's going to do, this isn't it. YANBU

GoldsolesLugs · 04/01/2025 15:08

Let me get this right - you've "gamed" him so hard that you've accidentally ended the relationship by ghosting him, but you think he's ghosted you? You go queen!!!

MrsSchrute · 04/01/2025 15:08

Catnamedroxy · 04/01/2025 15:05

I understand the posters saying to message him. But i won't be.

For these reasons.

He's been online multiple times, so i know he's NOT dead.

I sent the last text so the ball was left in his court.

He was the one who said he'd text me the next day.

If he wanted to, he's kind of man who would.

Totally your choice op.

But I really don't think he has done much wrong here.