Arrrrgghhh!!!!

I genuinely get told I look younger than my mid 40s but I think it’s because I have a fat round face - so swings and roundabouts 🤪

I think a lot of it is about vibe. My MIL is a few months off 80, and as an ex smoker and sun worshipper her skin tells the truth. But she has stylish well cared for hair, very stylish clothes and she's slim and very fit - more agile than I am at 40. She's also outgoing and smiley. The eye sees all that before it sees the wrinkles and she genuinely does pass for 20 years younger than she is on first glance.

My vibe is very different to my MIL's. <sniff>

It's impossible to guess age, especially in the age of 'tweakments'.

I have relatives slightly older than me (late 40s) who undergo regular Botox and fillers, and they do look a good 15 years younger than you'd expect. It actually puts me off wanting to meet up with them because it feels like they're 'winning' the ageing race.

I have a 'baby face' but no Botox so loads of forehead/eye lines, which point to my real age

I hear you. I am 50. On New Year’s Eve, 2 children were there that did not know me and DP. DP is 3 years younger than me and one of these children asked, are you the Grandma? There is no way I look that much older than DP plus their own dad is only 5 years younger than me. 🤣🤣

I have quite a round face, bushy eyebrows, and people routinely think I am quite a bit younger than my same aged husband. I also have very clear, unwrinkled skin. It’s entirely genetic.

Being skinny can accentuate wrinkles. Equally, being overweight can contribute to a look of frumpiness.

Also - hair! What is your hair like? I find lots of women I know somehow their hair gets shorter with each year and it really ages them. I saw someone recently i’ve not seen in ages and they’d gone for that short cut look and it aged the hell out of them. Can’t see any difference in their face or clothes it was definitely the hair!

I turned 50 recently and think I look my age although still don’t feel like a ‘grown up’ most days 😂

I was buying a phone last week and the young woman serving me said ‘I don’t like asking this but it is asking me about your age band’. I just said straight away ‘Well, I am 50’. She replied ‘Shall I tick 40 to 49?’. As if admitting to being 50 was not something I should be doing. I said ‘No, I am 50 so tick that one’.

To make matters much worse, an older man (I would say he was late 60s/70) then shuffled in to the shop in his cap and she said ‘Oh, is this your partner?’. WTF.

My sister is in her 60s and was carrying her daughter's 40th birthday balloons when a woman said "ooh it's my 40th too, happy birthday" so it can happen and she does have the most beautiful smooth skin (with no help - I don't think she even uses moisturiser!).

I on the other hand have been offered senior discounts since my early 50s and could have written the opening post myself, even using Claudia Schiffer as my beauty benchmark.

OP were the people concerned quite young?

Ive never met a 50 year old who genuinely looks in her 30s. What wrong with looking your age?

I was in my 40's when I decided to stop colouring my hair and let it go grey naturally (took years, with a couple of slips, and it's now almost white) I also made the decision that I wasn't going to have an old lady/aging style.
It's unusual whilst being low maintenance - but I'm used to being complimented frequently by strangers on how good it looks - which can give an amazing boost on days when I'm feeling a bit crap. Have a chat with your hairdresser about new styles.
Also agreed with a friend recently that having a plump face can result in fewer wrinkles, or wrinkles being less obvious.

The other thing, if this is feedback from work colleagues, is to think about what you say - saying something like "that was pre-internet" to a colleague in their 20's tends to invoke incredulous gawps.

Op I'm with you

My kids teens and adults tell me I don't act my age at all because I think I'm the mind I stopped aging at 25 and had my eldest young so they keep me younger but I look in the mirror sometimes and I have to double take

No alcohol good moisturiser and skin oils no junk food and plenty of water and two weeks in I look and feel totally different
I also find this time of year I look like an anaemic pasty so that doesn't help.

I aged 10 years overnight when new glasses threw my crows feet into sharp focus 😂

I think the biggest difference that I see with my skin is when I drink plenty of water versus when I don't drink enough water. Sunscreen and not smoking are also vital of course.

Interesting answer! So, mainly people who see you when you’re in professional mode and not when you’re relaxed or expressing your feelings or joking around etc?

I do think that can make a big difference to how we’re perceived, but it’s the signs of aging which shift product, like wrinkles and grey hairs, that get all the press.

I have a massive crush on her and it’s an accurate description!

Yay to the SPF. But, yes, start exercising. It’s not about your weight, it’s about your muscle tone, how you carry said weight and how you move your body. It’s also just good for you.

Please drink your wine, though. Life is far too short for deprivation in the pursuit of eternal youth.

a statuesque East African goddess

Blimey, I'm not even sure what that means in the context of this thread?

Obviously you think she's a good looking woman, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone described in such a way 😀

Good for her though, it's nice to hear.

You're doing better than me, OP. At 45, I look like I'm 127!

I’ve met loads, but they tend to be Black or SE Asian. My friend’s mum is a statuesque East African goddess, who - at 63 - could pass for 20 years younger with ease. Utterly flawless skin.

Two questions.

• Do you wear SPF? Religiously, every blessed day?
• Do you work out? Properly. Not the occasional walk or something?

I’m a bit younger than you, but not doing those two things seem to be the major ageing factors for women over 40 (35, in some cases) that I know. There seems to be a default to dieting and slapping on spendy creams, and those sorts of things don’t work.

On the other hand, none of this really matters and I’m sure you look lovely.

Do the people who think you’re free bus pass eligible know you or have they just met you?