Page 3 | Arrrrgghhh!!!!

Ilovelisting · 2025-01-03T21:46:55+00:00

I am 50 and every woman my age who I seem to come across looks fabulous and gets mistaken for 35 and has the smooth neck of a baby and all that good stuff. And I have no delusions about myself that I was ever Claudia bloody Schieffer (showing my age there), but I dress nicely and my hair is nice and I wear makeup, albeit in an amateur fashion, and I am not dowdy and I like to think I have wit and a youthful approach to life. And I look in the mirror and defnitely see puffiness and eyelids that are going south but I am not overly disgusted with my reflection - and I do tend to be a harsh critic of myself. BUT...........today ANOTHER person mistook me for being a good decade older than I am, This is the second time in a year that this has happened, and over the last 10 years I have been mistaken for being older upteen times. And I can't put my finger on what is going on..like am I in denial about my face or is it a kind of old vibe I give off. Also, DH tells me dutifully that I am loveliness itself but besides him, nobody ever tells me I look well. So I guess maybe I don't and I am living in delusion? AIBU to ask someone to talk me off the ledge? I know this is all quite incoherent but today's comment just pushed me over the edge.

Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:10

LushLemonTart · 04/01/2025 13:59

I agree with the exercise especially strength training and maybe some hiit? Drink lots of water.

I use argan oil now. Rarely wear foundation. I was trying allsorts of creams but am sticking to simple.
Genetics mean I look younger than my mid 50s. Get taken for early 40s. My neck is definitely looking older but meh. Nothing much can be done.

What hairstyle do you have? And have you had your brows microbladed? Eyebrows are aging imo.

I have layered hair past shoulder length, died to near my natural colour of brown. Nothing fancy but I do go to a good hairdresser and she recommends some great extortionate products. I haven't done the microblading thing, I just have them threaded and tinted. It seems a bit ruinously expensive, but maybe worth it?

OP posts:

LushLemonTart · 04/01/2025 14:02

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 04/01/2025 09:05

I turned 50 recently and think I look my age although still don’t feel like a ‘grown up’ most days 😂

I was buying a phone last week and the young woman serving me said ‘I don’t like asking this but it is asking me about your age band’. I just said straight away ‘Well, I am 50’. She replied ‘Shall I tick 40 to 49?’. As if admitting to being 50 was not something I should be doing. I said ‘No, I am 50 so tick that one’.

To make matters much worse, an older man (I would say he was late 60s/70) then shuffled in to the shop in his cap and she said ‘Oh, is this your partner?’. WTF.

Sorry but that last paragraph made me laugh 😂

LushLemonTart · 04/01/2025 13:59

I agree with the exercise especially strength training and maybe some hiit? Drink lots of water.

I use argan oil now. Rarely wear foundation. I was trying allsorts of creams but am sticking to simple.
Genetics mean I look younger than my mid 50s. Get taken for early 40s. My neck is definitely looking older but meh. Nothing much can be done.

What hairstyle do you have? And have you had your brows microbladed? Eyebrows are aging imo.

Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:58

AndrewPreview · 04/01/2025 13:52

If it's any consolation, I'm 50 and recently a lady working in a pharmacy assumed I qualified for free prescriptions (so 60). Granted I felt like shit (hence the pharmacy) but I was bitterly wounded😉

But then, everybody under the age of 30 just looks 15 to me so swings and roundabouts I guess😄

Lord God, you poor thing, and going on yours, mine and others' experiences there seem to be a lot of people who could do with a copy of "Basic Tact: A Beginner's Guide".😅

OP posts:

AndrewPreview · 04/01/2025 13:52

If it's any consolation, I'm 50 and recently a lady working in a pharmacy assumed I qualified for free prescriptions (so 60). Granted I felt like shit (hence the pharmacy) but I was bitterly wounded😉

But then, everybody under the age of 30 just looks 15 to me so swings and roundabouts I guess😄

Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:49

Sorry to drag this out but if anyone has an opinion on Collagen supplements perhaps you would share it? I spent 60 quid on the good ones recently and want to know if I may as well have cast the money to the winds.

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:46

Orangebadger · 04/01/2025 13:04

I think this is so common with men and women as we age. Sadly most men age better than we do, I guess due to the fact that there hormones don't shift as drastically as ours.

I recall one of our elderly neighbours as a teen, she had dementia. She said that I lived with my father and grandmother, my poor mum! I will never forget it especially as my DH is younger than me and from an ethnic group that ages much better than us pasty brits. I am doomed!

Show quote history

The cruelty of life, your poor mum. And there was no botox or bloody avocados to turn to back then!

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:44

lazyarse123 · 04/01/2025 12:37

I am 66 and really do look my age and then some, but up to about 58 I didn't I was always being told I looked about 10 years younger. I put it down to the fact my hair is still mousey brown with very few grey hairs.
My dh on the other hand is 70 and we met some new people a while ago and he mentioned his age and they both were a bit stunned lots of "ooh you never are", I said my age and nobody said anything, ever so slightly crushed.

Yup, my DH is nearly a decade older than me and going on recent experience it's probably only a matter of time before he's mistaken for my son 😆😥

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:42

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 04/01/2025 11:36

I really love this thread. I’m 45 but in my head I’m 25.

What is your diet like? Can you glow from within like the ready brek advert à la Twilight?

Also your posture? Do you stand as though you are a puppet on a string being held high or a marionette chucked in the back of a drawer?

Ha ha, well if I look like i am glowing from within it's more likely to come from a bottle of Malbec than ready brek. My diet is a bit eratic, like< I almost always get my five a day in, and am at this very moment smugly drinking an avocado and spinach smoothie I made, but I do overdo carbs and put my head in a bag of crisps too often.
Your question and a pp's advice regarding posture has actually really made me think about the way I carry myself, so I am going to do my best to try standing/walking as though a scary ballet teacher was banging their cane at me, from here on in.

OP posts:

Orangebadger · 04/01/2025 13:04

lazyarse123 · 04/01/2025 12:37

I am 66 and really do look my age and then some, but up to about 58 I didn't I was always being told I looked about 10 years younger. I put it down to the fact my hair is still mousey brown with very few grey hairs.
My dh on the other hand is 70 and we met some new people a while ago and he mentioned his age and they both were a bit stunned lots of "ooh you never are", I said my age and nobody said anything, ever so slightly crushed.

I think this is so common with men and women as we age. Sadly most men age better than we do, I guess due to the fact that there hormones don't shift as drastically as ours.

I recall one of our elderly neighbours as a teen, she had dementia. She said that I lived with my father and grandmother, my poor mum! I will never forget it especially as my DH is younger than me and from an ethnic group that ages much better than us pasty brits. I am doomed!

lazyarse123 · 04/01/2025 12:37

I am 66 and really do look my age and then some, but up to about 58 I didn't I was always being told I looked about 10 years younger. I put it down to the fact my hair is still mousey brown with very few grey hairs.
My dh on the other hand is 70 and we met some new people a while ago and he mentioned his age and they both were a bit stunned lots of "ooh you never are", I said my age and nobody said anything, ever so slightly crushed.

rewilded · 04/01/2025 12:16

Just to add I definitely do not look like I'm 40. I am just happy that I am hanging in there and looking OK for someone in their 50s. Nivea and vaseline seemed to have helped my face.

I am sure you look fine OP.

rewilded · 04/01/2025 11:55

I was complemented at a healthcare appointment a couple of weeks ago. She kept on asking for my date of birth and said she couldn't believe I was in my 50s and thought I was 40.

I have been stuffing my face all Christmas. I have my roots done at a local hairdressers who have a name like the Scissors Sisters and do absolutely no aesthetic procedures. I have also stopped HRT. The only thing I do do are pressups and body-weight exercises. I was thankful as I was starting to feel like I looked about 60.

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 04/01/2025 11:36

I really love this thread. I’m 45 but in my head I’m 25.

What is your diet like? Can you glow from within like the ready brek advert à la Twilight?

Also your posture? Do you stand as though you are a puppet on a string being held high or a marionette chucked in the back of a drawer?

Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 04/01/2025 11:32

I'm 58 I've worked in secondary schools in the same area since 1991. Sometimes I bump into random old pupils who I don't recognise and who tell me I look exactly the same as I did 25 years ago. I can't tell if they are making a joke or being polite!
I have come to terms with looking old by taking advantage of it , for example on the trains during my commute. There are a huge number of very polite young men in London. Even if they don't give me their seats they don't say anything when I shove them out of the way to get to one.
Also both my grandmothers looked old and they were awesome so I just think I'm like them!
I work with someone who claims to be 50 and looks 30ish. I saw the screen saver on her phone of her son ,who looks like a super model, and he is a grown up so I don't think she is lying. She is very good looking as well. She says everyone from Ghana is the same! If so that seems a little unfair to us potato people from London.

Orangebadger · 04/01/2025 11:22

I'm 52 and for the first time I am starting to feel my age and I think look it too. However despite this most people think I look slightly younger ( but more like late 40's certainly not 35!!!) when I was in my late 40's someone asked me if I was taking retirement!! I really didn't look 20 years older than my age!! So I really would not worry about others comments, some people really have no idea how to guesstimate an age!

Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 11:19

glittertime · 04/01/2025 09:59

I love myself even if i look like an old hag.
I dont wear make-up i only dye the end of my hair.
But i do have very good skin care.
I dont drink i eat right (ok i try to)
I have never had any fillers or what ever i wear what i want and what im comfortable in.
Op i think if you start liking yourself more even on a bad day it makes a difference.
Like yesterday morning i looked like a right dog just awful but while finishing my skin care morning routine i looked in the mirror and sad yep someone is looking fabulous.
I say the same throughout the day even about my back fat oooooh your rubbing together because im sexy.
Night time routine the same im looking fabulous gorgeous best i go to bed i need a restraining order against myself.
I may come as a joke to most but theres to many sad personality and people getting offended over crap id rather be happy.

I love this post and I think you sound like you have a superb attitude. Respect. I felt a teeny bit sad reading it, as I am not good at the self love. I try and I try to fake it til I make it but truth be told, self loathing comes easier. I also sweat the small stuff, which I am trying not to do, because I know a couple of women who don't sweat the small stuff and are really good to themselves, and it shows on the face, darn it!

Anyway, me me me, eh? But honestly, this thread has been so helpful and you are all very clever and kind, and not one poster has told me to get the f@@k over myself and that I am not in Gaza, etc, which would be fair enough but unhelpful let's face it.

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 11:14

jeaux90 · 04/01/2025 09:47

OP I'd pop over to the style and beauty section if you want some focused advice.

I'm 53 and a few years ago was really starting to look shit as I hit Menopause.

I went on HRT, had my colours done (clothes) did a lot of re-working of style, let my hair go grey (which worked out really well) and had a new style, but I also now do Botox and some very subtle fillers for my 11's.

"Fresh faced" look for makeup, foundation just doesn't do what it used to.

I look better at 53 than I did at 49 for sure.

Do not spend loads of money on face cream, none of them work.

Sound advice (though I am scared of the style and beauty section so I will stay here 😳). Maybe I need to look into the HRT thing. Thanks.

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 11:12

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 04/01/2025 09:05

I turned 50 recently and think I look my age although still don’t feel like a ‘grown up’ most days 😂

I was buying a phone last week and the young woman serving me said ‘I don’t like asking this but it is asking me about your age band’. I just said straight away ‘Well, I am 50’. She replied ‘Shall I tick 40 to 49?’. As if admitting to being 50 was not something I should be doing. I said ‘No, I am 50 so tick that one’.

To make matters much worse, an older man (I would say he was late 60s/70) then shuffled in to the shop in his cap and she said ‘Oh, is this your partner?’. WTF.

Janey, no jury would convict you of assault-by-phone on the back of that!

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Original poster

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 11:09

CharlotteStreetW1 · 04/01/2025 09:03

My sister is in her 60s and was carrying her daughter's 40th birthday balloons when a woman said "ooh it's my 40th too, happy birthday" so it can happen and she does have the most beautiful smooth skin (with no help - I don't think she even uses moisturiser!).

I on the other hand have been offered senior discounts since my early 50s and could have written the opening post myself, even using Claudia Schiffer as my beauty benchmark.

OP were the people concerned quite young?

Show quote history

That's the thing, they actually weren't young. The first was 59 and the second is in mid 60s, ffs!! I feel if a 20 something year old thinks I am prehistoric that is entirely understandable but I had liked to think I appeared girlish and frivolous to people who are a decade or two older than me! (again, the denial). On a side note, I think I will take a walk through town carrying some 40th birthday balloons and see what happens 😍

OP posts:

glittertime · 04/01/2025 09:59

I love myself even if i look like an old hag.
I dont wear make-up i only dye the end of my hair.
But i do have very good skin care.
I dont drink i eat right (ok i try to)
I have never had any fillers or what ever i wear what i want and what im comfortable in.
Op i think if you start liking yourself more even on a bad day it makes a difference.
Like yesterday morning i looked like a right dog just awful but while finishing my skin care morning routine i looked in the mirror and sad yep someone is looking fabulous.
I say the same throughout the day even about my back fat oooooh your rubbing together because im sexy.
Night time routine the same im looking fabulous gorgeous best i go to bed i need a restraining order against myself.
I may come as a joke to most but theres to many sad personality and people getting offended over crap id rather be happy.

devilspawn · 04/01/2025 09:48

BluePapillon · 04/01/2025 09:10

Also - hair! What is your hair like? I find lots of women I know somehow their hair gets shorter with each year and it really ages them. I saw someone recently i’ve not seen in ages and they’d gone for that short cut look and it aged the hell out of them. Can’t see any difference in their face or clothes it was definitely the hair!

Edited

This for sure, I worked with a woman 2 years older than me and people thought she was 10-15 years older than me and the same age as another woman 12 years older than her, because she had short grey hair. It was a stylish cut, but it aged her so much. Just her dyeing her hair alone would have taken 10 years off her. Especially these days, when most women are giving up on hair dye in their 70s and 80s rather than their 50s.

jeaux90 · 04/01/2025 09:47

OP I'd pop over to the style and beauty section if you want some focused advice.

I'm 53 and a few years ago was really starting to look shit as I hit Menopause.

I went on HRT, had my colours done (clothes) did a lot of re-working of style, let my hair go grey (which worked out really well) and had a new style, but I also now do Botox and some very subtle fillers for my 11's.

"Fresh faced" look for makeup, foundation just doesn't do what it used to.

I look better at 53 than I did at 49 for sure.

Do not spend loads of money on face cream, none of them work.

Roselilly36 · 04/01/2025 09:27

That made me laugh!

But haven’t most people over 50 have stopped worrying about that sort of thing surely, it perhaps it’s just me!

I know an aunt of mine once said the best thing she found about aging were the pretty girls at school didn’t look any different to her at 50+.

JanefromLondon1 · 04/01/2025 09:26

Do you move like an old person?? Are you fit, fast and flexible? I think that's a huge part of it. Posture too.

I am sadly one of those women that are told they look 40 rather than 50 but I have neat natural eyebrows (albeit tattooed on), white teeth (whitened but not Simon Cowell white) and I had my lips blushed (sort of tattooed) as I read somewhere years ago what goes naturally as you age is lip colour, teeth start darkening and you lose your eyebrows or they go grey and wirey.

I do think maybe if you really looked you'd think 5 years younger not 10 but above us the 4 main thing that I think makes a huge difference.