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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Arrrrgghhh!!!!

112 replies

Ilovelisting · 03/01/2025 21:46

I am 50 and every woman my age who I seem to come across looks fabulous and gets mistaken for 35 and has the smooth neck of a baby and all that good stuff. And I have no delusions about myself that I was ever Claudia bloody Schieffer (showing my age there), but I dress nicely and my hair is nice and I wear makeup, albeit in an amateur fashion, and I am not dowdy and I like to think I have wit and a youthful approach to life. And I look in the mirror and defnitely see puffiness and eyelids that are going south but I am not overly disgusted with my reflection - and I do tend to be a harsh critic of myself.
BUT...........today ANOTHER person mistook me for being a good decade older than I am, This is the second time in a year that this has happened, and over the last 10 years I have been mistaken for being older upteen times. And I can't put my finger on what is going on..like am I in denial about my face or is it a kind of old vibe I give off.

Also, DH tells me dutifully that I am loveliness itself but besides him, nobody ever tells me I look well. So I guess maybe I don't and I am living in delusion? AIBU to ask someone to talk me off the ledge? I know this is all quite incoherent but today's comment just pushed me over the edge.

OP posts:
Husbandrippedmeoff · 04/01/2025 16:03

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:28

@PierceMorgansChin @Husbandrippedmeoff
With pleasure! Well, I always take makeup off, use a L'occitane oil cleanser, an Aveda acid exfoliating thing a couple of times per week and a Clinique moisturiser with SPF. I lash on a facial oil and thick moisturiser (have dry skin) at night. I use Estee Lauder foundation and this benefit dandelion powder that's meant to make me radiant. Then brown eyeliner and mascara. Bit of blusher. Bob's your uncle. My skillset does not include conturing I am afraid but I am always thinking that one of these days I will watch a few vids on YouTube and become someone who applies makeup in a non-random fashion. All comments welcome.
@PierceMorgansChin is the deep chemical peel something you have to do often? I always think of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha gets a bad one (because I am SO old 🙄)

Thanks for your interest and lovely comments xx

You don't mention any lipstick? I used to love a strong bright pink lip but can't get away with it any more but love a tinted lip balm.

Husbandrippedmeoff · 04/01/2025 15:57

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:28

@PierceMorgansChin @Husbandrippedmeoff
With pleasure! Well, I always take makeup off, use a L'occitane oil cleanser, an Aveda acid exfoliating thing a couple of times per week and a Clinique moisturiser with SPF. I lash on a facial oil and thick moisturiser (have dry skin) at night. I use Estee Lauder foundation and this benefit dandelion powder that's meant to make me radiant. Then brown eyeliner and mascara. Bit of blusher. Bob's your uncle. My skillset does not include conturing I am afraid but I am always thinking that one of these days I will watch a few vids on YouTube and become someone who applies makeup in a non-random fashion. All comments welcome.
@PierceMorgansChin is the deep chemical peel something you have to do often? I always think of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha gets a bad one (because I am SO old 🙄)

Thanks for your interest and lovely comments xx

Have you thought about tret? I've been using it for about 6 months now and I think it has made an improvement in my skin.

Oh and I highly recommend you watch "The Substance" which is a film with Demi Moore.

On her 50th birthday she gets sacked from her tv show so decides to undertake a "procedure" the results of which will put things in perspective for you!!

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 04/01/2025 15:55

Re Posture, maybe look into Pilates. Supports both your posture and your ability to not give a fuck.

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:43

Doggymummar · 04/01/2025 15:39

I follow this lady - she has had a top half facelift but I love the simplicity of her makeup routines

Edited

Oh great, will use this, thanks!

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 04/01/2025 15:39

I follow this lady - she has had a top half facelift but I love the simplicity of her makeup routines

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/-RrNZR9AIZI?si=I1vczWxxWbFeUn6g

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:35

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/01/2025 15:32

Think yourself lucky, OP. I keep getting mistaken for a man. I'm in my 60s but have a 36-25-26 figure, but apparently short hair means I'm a bloke.

But someone did tell me I'm not nearly old enough to retire the other day. Which was nice.

Oh for crying out loud, what are people like???! Though by the sound of it you are a man with a very enviable figure!!!!

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/01/2025 15:32

Think yourself lucky, OP. I keep getting mistaken for a man. I'm in my 60s but have a 36-25-26 figure, but apparently short hair means I'm a bloke.

But someone did tell me I'm not nearly old enough to retire the other day. Which was nice.

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:31

Winterskyfall · 04/01/2025 15:26

I wonder if it's because you dress nicely. Do you dress youthfully? I don't mean short shirts or tight dresses, but a lot of younger people are quite casual in the way they dress.

Hmm. I never dress formally really, if I were to describe my style it'd be 'teacher chic', if you know what I mean...jumpers, cord skirts, boots, hoopy earrings, not very edgy but not the full Laura Ashley either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 15:28

@PierceMorgansChin @Husbandrippedmeoff
With pleasure! Well, I always take makeup off, use a L'occitane oil cleanser, an Aveda acid exfoliating thing a couple of times per week and a Clinique moisturiser with SPF. I lash on a facial oil and thick moisturiser (have dry skin) at night. I use Estee Lauder foundation and this benefit dandelion powder that's meant to make me radiant. Then brown eyeliner and mascara. Bit of blusher. Bob's your uncle. My skillset does not include conturing I am afraid but I am always thinking that one of these days I will watch a few vids on YouTube and become someone who applies makeup in a non-random fashion. All comments welcome.
@PierceMorgansChin is the deep chemical peel something you have to do often? I always think of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha gets a bad one (because I am SO old 🙄)

Thanks for your interest and lovely comments xx

OP posts:
Winterskyfall · 04/01/2025 15:26

I wonder if it's because you dress nicely. Do you dress youthfully? I don't mean short shirts or tight dresses, but a lot of younger people are quite casual in the way they dress.

Husbandrippedmeoff · 04/01/2025 15:12

PierceMorgansChin · 04/01/2025 15:00

Hi IP I'm 43 and I would like to offer my 2 cents. First of all, I'm sure you are lovely pretty and you seem like you have a great sense of humour. I was wondering if you maybe use black eyeliner all around your eyes, as this can age? Secondly I had deep chemical peel, laser treatment botox I'm very into that and all I can say no cream absolutely none has the same effect. In few years I am planning deep plane vertical face lift, but I appreciate its invasive, painful, costly and not for everybody. Having had all my procedures I'm certain I look my age. I have met absolutely no 50 year old looking 35. It's a common low effort compliment but some people believe it and run with it lol. What is your make up routine OP what foundation do you use if any? Do you contour?

Yes I would be interested in hearing about your make up routine and skincare routine also OP.

PierceMorgansChin · 04/01/2025 15:00

Hi IP I'm 43 and I would like to offer my 2 cents. First of all, I'm sure you are lovely pretty and you seem like you have a great sense of humour. I was wondering if you maybe use black eyeliner all around your eyes, as this can age? Secondly I had deep chemical peel, laser treatment botox I'm very into that and all I can say no cream absolutely none has the same effect. In few years I am planning deep plane vertical face lift, but I appreciate its invasive, painful, costly and not for everybody. Having had all my procedures I'm certain I look my age. I have met absolutely no 50 year old looking 35. It's a common low effort compliment but some people believe it and run with it lol. What is your make up routine OP what foundation do you use if any? Do you contour?

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:47

Hoppinggreen · 04/01/2025 14:40

Are you thin?
I think that after a certain age being quite thin can age your face. I am pretty chubby and people think I am yyounger than my 50 odd years.
On the downside no matter how well I dress/am groomed I tend to look scruffy

I am built to be thin (no boobs, tiny frame) but nope not thin as such anymore, would be a size 12. A thin face though I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:43

Emonade · 04/01/2025 14:36

Read the beauty myth and Phillipa Perry’s column and try not to give af. It is pure misogyny that means women aren’t allowed to age or look old. If your partner thinks you are wonderful and you are happy then bigger everyone else.

I hear you, I do, and I love P Perry and her openess of mind and spirit, and I call myself a feminist and am painfully aware of misogyny especially as I age, but still I care how I look and how I am seen, I do! I guess it is part osmosis and part just missing that youthful thing where you could, for example, wake up with a hangover having not removed your eye makeup and look sexy instead of demented.

OP posts:
Michellesbackbrace · 04/01/2025 14:42

TwattyMcFuckFace · 03/01/2025 23:48

In all my 55 years on this earth, I've never met a 50 year old who looks 35.

I know Mumsnet is apparently full of them, so perhaps I'm just not looking hard enough? 👓😂

This. I think people who look “good” for their age still look their age!

And whomever is telling you you look 10 years older is surely very rude?! How does a comment like that even come about in conversation unless you directly ask someone how old they think you are?

I often get mistaken for being younger but I’ve just inherited my dms good genes - nothing to do with fancy creams etc. And I’m guessing the people who think I look my age just don’t say so!

Hoppinggreen · 04/01/2025 14:40

Are you thin?
I think that after a certain age being quite thin can age your face. I am pretty chubby and people think I am yyounger than my 50 odd years.
On the downside no matter how well I dress/am groomed I tend to look scruffy

Emonade · 04/01/2025 14:38

Bugger not bigger!

Emonade · 04/01/2025 14:37

Also there’s a reason there are so many creams and shit and those companies make so much money - they don’t actually do anything!

Emonade · 04/01/2025 14:36

Read the beauty myth and Phillipa Perry’s column and try not to give af. It is pure misogyny that means women aren’t allowed to age or look old. If your partner thinks you are wonderful and you are happy then bigger everyone else.

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:30

CoffeeBeansGalore · 04/01/2025 14:23

@Ilovelisting I have found one product which is described as a good night's sleep in a bottle. It gives your skin a slight lift/glow.

L'Occitane immortelle reset. You use a small dab under your night moisturiser. It honestly made a difference to me. I notice a difference if I stop using it.

You can get it on offer or on ebay for under £40. The 30ml bottle will last approx a month. You can get a travel 5ml for under £10 if you want to trial it first. There is also a version for just eyes (I've not used).

I'd asked a colleague what she was using/doing because she looked so good on a Monday morning. She recommended this.

I have no vested interest in L'Occitane but I do use this and one of their shampoos which has been wonderful for my hair.

Oooh I actually have used free samples of this and liked it, I will make it my business to purchase it when January poverty has loosened its grip.

OP posts:
rewilded · 04/01/2025 14:27

When I asked to get the mirena removed my GP asked if I was still having sex! I am early 50s!

CoffeeBeansGalore · 04/01/2025 14:23

@Ilovelisting I have found one product which is described as a good night's sleep in a bottle. It gives your skin a slight lift/glow.

L'Occitane immortelle reset. You use a small dab under your night moisturiser. It honestly made a difference to me. I notice a difference if I stop using it.

You can get it on offer or on ebay for under £40. The 30ml bottle will last approx a month. You can get a travel 5ml for under £10 if you want to trial it first. There is also a version for just eyes (I've not used).

I'd asked a colleague what she was using/doing because she looked so good on a Monday morning. She recommended this.

I have no vested interest in L'Occitane but I do use this and one of their shampoos which has been wonderful for my hair.

Arrrrgghhh!!!!
Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:22

Doggymummar · 04/01/2025 14:19

My doctor says all supplements just make expensive wee, so no I don't think they are worth the money. Try bone broth. Unless you are veggie.

Show quote history

Thanks, good to know on the supplements! Can I make the broth out of the bones of the next person to mistake me for a 65 year old?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 04/01/2025 14:19

Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 13:49

Sorry to drag this out but if anyone has an opinion on Collagen supplements perhaps you would share it? I spent 60 quid on the good ones recently and want to know if I may as well have cast the money to the winds.

My doctor says all supplements just make expensive wee, so no I don't think they are worth the money. Try bone broth. Unless you are veggie.

Original poster
Ilovelisting · 04/01/2025 14:11

Dyed, not died ffs

OP posts: