AIBU - friend wants hotel for wedding guests only but my mum will be looking after my newborn

Honestly, with an attitude like that from your friend I would skip the wedding.

I bloody hate weddings for this reason, so many god awful bridezillas around.

Terrible!

Absolutely ridiculous. YANBU

I’d tell her the room is already booked and paid for. And the terms are no cancellations.

No, you can’t leave your baby in another hotel, tell her either your mum stays or you can’t come to the wedding.

The friend isn't necessarily a bad person, just has no idea about what is possible/practical with a young baby. She'll probably look back and cringe at herself one day.

However, expecting you to turf your mum out of the hotel at the end of the night, after all the effort she is making to allow you to attend her wedding, really speaks of her character.

I agree.

Also, unless your friend block books the rooms with the hotel I'm not sure that she can stop anyone else booking a room - including random folk.

Unless you friend is paying for all the rooms, tough! She's being ridiculous

I’m an experienced grandma and while I would be happy to do it if you really wanted me to help you out, if I got wind of your friend’s unreasonable demands I would be questioning if this was sensible. A 3 month old is very young, god forbid if you or the baby or your mum were unwell at the time and you had to travel such a long way. While I’m sure your mum is great what if baby needs you at some point during the day? I can’t imagine bridezilla being happy for you to disappear off for a while during her special day, in fact asking for your mum to stay at another hotel seems specifically designed to make it impossible for you to slip away for a while which is just nasty rather than thoughtless. I would suggest you just say no altogether, people who want destination weddings, which is their right, have to accept that it’s just not going to work for everyone.

Oh I dread wedding invites, especially those abroad.

Having a very very young baby would be my dream reason not to have to go, especially if there are silly OTT wishes to follow!
What a lot of faffing around just to please bridezilla.

This - you are being more the accommodating. Seriously is there a chance she assumed you will not be coming as the wedding is child free? You’ve gone above and beyond what most friends would do and yet she’s put another obstacle in your way

Don't go. She's only going to get more unreasonable as the date draws closer. She's being ridiculous.

Then the bride should have booked out the entire hotel as an exclusive for the wedding. There will be random guests there, so why is your mum any different? Bridezilla.

Wow! Dump the selfish mate and holiday with your OH and baby. Cannot abide self obsessed Bride and Groom Zilla types.

You have the perfect excuse not to go but wanted to make the effort (at considerable additional expense) anyway and instead of appreciating that, she’s being a ridiculous bridezilla.

Cancel the trip, send a gift and stay at home cuddling your baby. 🌺

Unless the bride has pre-booked every room in the hotel (unlikely, unless the place is tiny), it's none of her business who else books a room and she gets absolutely no say in the matter. I'd just book your mum a double room (request it's next to yours) pronto.

I understand her dilemma. The rooms need to be for the wedding guests. Could your mum share your room?

No way would i go shes being a right diva fuck her

YANBU. Fingers crossed everything goes swimmingly and it’s all a breeze but there are so many variables you don’t really consider before have a kid.
you don’t know whether baby will be on time (could be 2 weeks overdue), if you’ll need a c-section so have 6 weeks minimum recovery, any issues with feeding could be quite sensitive still, you don’t know how your body will feel, how you’ll feel about travelling with such a little one.

this friend is showing no empathy or compassion to you, and barely friendship in my opinion. I’d never expect my close friend to have to separate from a babe in arms. And then say they can’t even be in the same hotel- it’s outrageously selfish. Your baby needs you and if you are breast feeding you could be feeding every hour or 2 still. Why would she make it difficult for you?

I went to a wedding abroad with a breast feeding baby, had a great time, your friend is bu

I wouldnt as mum and baby not welcome in hotel. Bride is being really unreasonable, even if she did change her mind i wouldnt go.

I would certainly NOT be going o this bloody wedding! I get that children aren't invited - bride and groom choice - BUT the bride does not get to choose who stays in which hotel. The OP wants her Mum there to look after the infant and yet the bride thinks it acceptable for them to be farmed out elsewhere!!!!
Sorry OP, I don't think you should be even considering attending this wedding.

Has friend paid for exclusive use of the hotel, including all the rooms? If so, I guess it's up to her who she gives each room to, and I'm assuming there's only enough rooms for the amount of guests?

This could be the reason. We recently got married and booked (and paid) for all the rooms for our wedding party. We did actually fill up the venue, but even if we didn't there's no way we would have wanted any randoms hanging around.

Luckily we didn't invite anyone with babies/ young children because we're old and grumpy and can't be arsed with annoying parents.

Is she always so unreasonable and self absorbed?! Not sure if l would want to go to the wedding now and l certainly would not entertain the different hotels "suggestion"

This!
Is your friend resentful that you have a child? She's certainly doing everything she can to make it too difficult for you to attend.
I can't see your friendship surviving longterm, or even short term really. Some friendships can go really weird after one of you has a child.