AIBU - friend wants hotel for wedding guests only but my mum will be looking after my newborn

Has anyone broke the news to her that unless she has exclusive use of the venue ala celebrity that Jackie and Liz from Scunthorpe will be judging watching her wedding from their balcony with their vodka and Fanta lemon??

She sounds utterly awful and is being massively unreasonable. I would reply that you and also your Mother have bent over backward to try and be there for her wedding however, if your arrangements aren’t suitable to her then you look forward to seeing the photos on social media, far away from such an unreasonable bridezilla!

I’d be inclined to keep it simple with your friend and let her show her arse if she’s going to be this controlling and difficult about the incredibly reasonable and sensible plan you and your Mum have made;
”I’m afraid not, she needs to be close by and it would be both impractical and a little unfair to expect her to stay further away when she’s already doing me a massive favour so that I can attend the wedding”

WTAF she is being so unreasonable! Also a newborn doesn't count when it comes to no-child weddings. They're still symbiotic at that point! Particularly if you're breastfeeding.

I wouldn't travel at all with a 3 month old. It will be miserable for you and tricky for your mum as they are often still demand feeding then. Your friend is being unreasonable and surely she can't dictate who stays in the hotel unless she has booked it exclusively for her wedding. Destination weddings are expensive and with a young baby it will be a nightmare. Make your excuses especially as the bride is being unreasonable

Your mum is travelling abroad so she can mind your baby so you can attend your friends wedding. You have arranged all this so you can attend the wedding despite having a 3mth old. Both those things are above and beyond as is, and now she expects your mum to stay elsewhere?? This is not a friend. You should be allowed to take the baby with you or your mum should be added to the guest list to help with the baby if it’s important for her to have you there. I would cancel. I assume she’s child free and just doesn’t have a clue rather than just being mean.

Don't think much of your 'best friend', OP.

She sounds thoughtless and bridezilla-like.

I'd tell her you won't be attending, end of, as it's just no longer practical. If she really wanted you there, she'd be bending over backwards to make it easier for you to do so, not going out of her way to make it harder. For a party, essentially.

She has lost sense of what is reasonable. I would explain why you have done what you have and if that doesn't suit her then you do not go.

I think you’ve gone above and beyond to try to attend your friend’s wedding with a newborn and she hasn’t been at all understanding so time to bow out.

There's no guarantee you'd even get a passport for the baby in time. I'd give it a miss.

Definitely. How unreasonable of HER. Unless you can save money by booking a double room plus place for baby this is your only option. No way would my mum be going elsewhere. If friend is being awkward I'd cancel xx

Absolutely this. No way would I drag a tiny baby and my mother abroad for a bridezilla's wedding. Too much faff and expense when she's behaving this way.

Sorry to be blunt but she doesnt want you there and doesn't care if you don't go either.

I couldn't contemplate going with such a young baby anyway, and a destination wedding is so much faff even without a baby!

Absolutely this. If she is your best friend surely she knows your mum anyway and she should be thrilled that your mum has kindly offered to come and babysit and certainly not behaving like this. OP she is showing her true colours and id keep my money and not go. She is no friend and I'd not be offering to move my mum to another hotel.

Honestly, how small is this hotel?

I'd bow out of the wedding at this point.

Has she paid for exclusive use of the hotel for her guests, if yes I understand as she would of paid a higher fee to reserve all rooms, if she hasn’t paid for exclusive use ask her what the difference is between your mum in a room to support a guest or another guest from a different country she’s never met?

How were they available for you to book if the bride wanted to reserve them?
How did she find out you had booked them.

AYBU? No. I’d refuse to give up the rooms. What is she going to do? She can’t make you.

I reckon she is no longer a BF and you have probabbly dodged a bullet finding it out now

You say your baby will be three months - they could be only 8 or 9 weeks if late. You'll be lucky to have got them registered and a passport and first lot of jabs and have established a decent feeding routine by then. Don't go.

Your friend sounds massively unreasonable. I’m assuming she doesn’t have kids? Apart from anything else she has no control at all over who stays in the hotel where her wedding is taking place…I’d just tell her ‘I really don’t think it’s going to work unless mum can stay in our hotel. I’ll be so sad to miss your wedding, and I respect it is your day, but I do need to prioritise my three month old child in this decision.’ Then guys don’t do if she continues to be this way.

The bride is being unreasonable however.
The solution is for your mum to stay in your room and then nip to her hotel overnight.

Your friend has made it abundantly clear that your attendance at her wedding, really doesn't matter much to her.

I really wouldn't lower myself by going, let alone drag my baby and mother along too.

Your friend is being a bridezilla . Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and try to explain all the newborn logistics and problems and that it would be virtually impossible/mean to make your mum stay off site and only show up at the wedding hotel during the ceremony ( she’s not your hired help) and buzz off back to a different property after…