Doesn’t ever work out with the OW

And some stay because they are happier.

That is obviously true.

However, some cheats cheat once and never again.

I don't think anyone disputes that cheats might stay with their flings, the question imo is do they stay faithful and I bet in a lot/most cases the answer is no. Once they've experienced the thrill of a novelty shag it can be addictive.

Many do stay though because once they've gone through the expense and upheaval of divorce they are reluctant to repeat it and they have also learnt that the grass is not always greener.

I know a lot of long term marriages that started from affairs. Often, people marry the “wrong” person to start with, and then find the “right” one.

No one ever got dragged out of a happy marriage. 🤷‍♀️

I agree with this. It’s not always known.

Most affairs never come to light before one of the partners files for divorce. The only 2 couples I know quite well that began the relationship while married to someone else, have very solid marriages to their OW/OP - they've been married for 20+ years.

Once a cheat always a cheat

Years ago I read similar.
And in real life I've only seen this once.

My ex H is still with the other woman 12 years later. They have a child and are now married.

We've been together 33 years here. We met, we had feelings but I told him nothing could happen unless he left his partner of 5 years. He was desperately unhappy with her.

He did leave her but she thought he was taking a break, housesitting for a friend and working on his latest book. I am still appalled at how this played out (and bitter that I got blamed and lost friends over it while he didn't).

She actually rang the night before our wedding to ask him to come back to her.

This.
I actually WISH my exH was still with the OW (lasted a poxy 5 years- nothing to our 20-odd), because I might feel less bitter about how he's dumped his kids and all the pieces I've had to pick up by him leaving for her.

It works out more often that not. Men are quite good at risk assessment when it comes to OW.

Please be quiet. You’re not learning anything from any responses and are just proving again and again you’re not that bright/thoughtful

But don't most people think they're in love when they marry?

It’s almost like a badge that they’re trying get ‘champion shagger’. One guy had settled down with his ex secretary and had kids (don’t think he knew what hit him - when he was drunk he said they been dating weeks and she was pregnant). He spends his time working his way around the office. I feel for his DP, but I wonder if she knows. His lifestyle is exactly as described - but he’s been seen around town with various women is compromising positions.

I don’t think he’s been faithful in their 19 years together. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Rife in these professional industries!

She absolutely was and the entire saga was a complete shitshow and very cruel to all three of them.

I sincerely hope that family has finally learned it's lesson.

I will continue with my opinions, you don't have to agree.

Something bad happening isn’t ‘karma’, it’s the crapshoot that is life

Exactly! Some people seem to think "karma" is some kind of cosmic payback😂.

The reality is that bad things will indeed happen to "cheaters", as well as people who have been cheated on and those who have never had a romantic relationship.

It's called "Life".

There's something particularly sad about wasting years - maybe many years - bitterly waiting for someone to get their cosmic comeuppance. We can't help being betrayed or feeling hurt but it doesn't have to define us or permanently derail the course of our life.

@Tink3rbell30

Nope, who on earth thinks the poor people being cheated on deserve it.
Then don't use words you don't understand.

You don't know what karma is. You keep using it incorrectly

Every relationship is different and I don't think starting as an affair has any bearing on whether or not the relationship will last

More to do with the people involved, their compatibility, if they actually want to be together or if it was supposed to be a fling they ended up reluctantly staying around for etc etc. Far too many factors to list, just like relationships that started without an affair.

Anecdotally, I grew up with my mum and the horrible abusive prick she left my dad for (I don't call him step-dad) he was also married when he ran off with my mum so both were the OW and the OM. Horrible, tumultus relationship that was full of abuse and misery for us all but "lasted" so does that count?

I cared for a lady in her 90s that was the OW and lived happily with her husband for 70 years.

I know another who lasted about 3 weeks 😆

I doubt there's any conclusive data, really.

Just going to leave this here

Nope, who on earth thinks the poor people being cheated on deserve it.

My FIL seems to start a new family every 17 years. Like a Cicada.

@Tink3rbell30
If your version of karma is real then you would have to accept that the people being cheated on deserved it due to some action they committed in the past.

That would be very cruel of you

Oops

Yes my opinions and everyone else here is entitled to theirs too.