Doesn’t ever work out with the OW

Exactly @Hoplolly

It really really doesn't. That's just a massive cliche that people say to make themselves feel better. There are dozens of posters on this thread that have attested to that.

Yes. Ex husband is now married to her. Same as his father, who was married to the 'other woman' 🙄

I no longer believe in karma 😆

Absolutely - I'm much happier married to my DH than I would have been my ex fiance. The OW did me a favour!

Unfortunately yes. Mine married her. They are still together.

Yep probably the happiest couple I knew (they’re gone now) were together for about 40 plus years until they died and started off as an affair. The situation shat on the ex-wife and kids though. It is what it is.

I know someone like that, but he's on wife no4.

Yep, ex has been with OW for 8 years now. I have to be honest, I still feel humiliated by it all because when we were together I was besotted by him and he just dropped me like a hot potato - we were together for 10 years. The life we were planning he now has with her and I have struggled to move on. No partner currently, just DS10 and me.

My father was the other man. He and my stepmother have been married decades now. I think it works because he is at heart a weak man who gives her everything she wants, thus avoiding any of the conflict and growing together one might expect in a mature relationship. I think had he not been this way it would have fizzled out pretty rapidly.

I always think of Doreen Slater “Stick Insect”…
Although, I think Pauline cheated on George?

He left me for my best friend in 1996. She was his third affair. They're still together.

It was hard to take for a long time. I had done nothing wrong and I felt he'd been rewarded for his bad behaviour while it took me 20 years to find my now DH.

I haven't seen either of them since 1999 when I moved away from the town we lived in.

But when I found out years later, how mediocre his career has been, it stopped hurting.

Good luck to them. They deserve each other.

My ex left me for OW and they’ve been together 12+ years, married with a child now. I’m not sure he treats her any better, but from what I hear they are happy.

I thank my lucky stars every single day she ended up with him, and I found DH.

My husband's ex left him for his friend after an affair. The friend had tried it on with every other "taken" woman in the group, including my husband's sister. I guess husband's ex-wife was the last resort. They are, so I hear from people who still talk to them, miserable, but are still together 12 years later, now with a 6 yo. According to SIL, who is still in touch with the ex-wife, she says she can't stand him but also can't face dating again. Mind you, SIL has a flexible relationship with the truth so maybe they are blissfully happy.

My husband also has an Uncle who cheated on his then-wife with his now-wife, they have been together 30+ years and are both in their 80s now, they seem very happy.

I found this interesting.

The basic takeaway here is that people who cheat, are statistically more likely to cheat again and that those who are cheated on are statistically more likely to be cheated on again.

To anyone who is going through this please seek help to break the cycle, while you cannot guarantee it won;t happen to you twice you can learn how to avoid the people and situations that are more likely to see you cheated upon

https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity

Left his wife, not hospital! Though I think his wife would have gladly put him in hospital at the time!

My sister was the other woman , they got together about 35 yrs ago , have been married about 30 yrs and seem very happy .

Because the original couple weren’t in love? Don’t kid yourself that where an affair happens, there’s no love nor was there ever love. Love is rarely enough to sustain a relationship even short term. It doesn’t manage the baggage of an affair, the children, guilt, hurt. It can’t predict how the hurt person will react, or how friends and family will behave.

OP - I mean this kindly. If you are struggling with the impact of an affair, stop reading this thread. Unfortunately mumsnet isn’t particularly kind to people managing affair fallout - the underlying tone is always that something must have been wrong with the marriage and that the person cheated on somehow deserves it. The affair may pan out but probably it won’t. But either way, what does it matter? You do not want this man in your life. Time to focus on you and moving forwards. Take care of you, don’t think about them.

My dad is still with the woman he left my mum for 30 years ago. He also has 3 sons no one is supposed to know about with the woman he's been cheating on her with for the last 20 years.

No it doesn't. How you get them is how you lose them, they will never build happiness based on betraying someone else. What goes around always comes back around.

Not in my experience my ex husband is onto his 5th wife.. ( could be 6th 🤷‍♀️)cheated on everyone..
Haven't seen him for 18 years... nor has our 32 year old daughter.. no idea where he's living.. didn't even go to his own Mother's funeral.. ( we did).

Sometimes yes and sometimes no

My ex husband is now married to the OW he cheated on me with. Pictures occasionally pop up on my feed on Facebook -we were together for over a decade so have mutual friends. They both look a fucking state. Haven't had children (fertility issues l suspect) and too old to now, he desperately wanted them so he won't be happy with that aspect. She's not the most motivated of people with her career or earning so that probably rankles with him as he's very focused on that

I'm married to someone else and we've had twins, career is going well and his family is way more palatable so worked out better for me. Probably better karma as l didn't cheat with one of our mutual friends!

It's been 20 years since my relative's husband left her for the ow. They married and have their own child now. He has been an inconsistent "father" in his first two children's lives.

No personal experience of this but, gosh, it just seems to unjust that people who have affairs go on to stay together after causing such pain.

Just leave if they find themselves looking for someone to shag.

Out of the many people I knew who started as affairs, the vast majority broke up eventually.

Many went on to have more affairs.

The ones together years on seem miserable.

I'm sure some work out but I would say overall it doesn't go well due to all the baggage and anger.