Friend refusing to pay back money lent "I need the money more than you do"

I’d say that’s not her decision to make and you’re happy to talk about instalments.

Although if my best friend was struggling, I would want to help if I’m in a financial position to do so. Her attitude isn’t doing her any favours though!

Makes my blood boil. I no longer lend anyone money as I learnt my lesson - in that many people ask if you can "lend" them money when they actually mean "give". They have no intention of paying it back, but can't even be honest when they ask!

The people who didn't pay me back gave similar excuses, that i had it sitting around available and didn't really need it, whereas they'd have to tighten their belts to be able to pay me back. Fuck that shit!

Also as others have said keep every message etc as evidence so she cannot turn around and say you are lying etc

Erase from life 100% once money is retrieved. If was me I would constantly harass for the money every day until she gets fed up and sends it first of all. Similar has happened to me before and I threatened to post everything on social media to embarrass him if he didn't pay up. Pretty extreme to some probably but it worked and I got my money back around £600. This was after many months of trying everything to pay it back and I really needed the money too at the time. Make sure she knows you are serious and not messing around. Also take this as a learning curve because it is a really good lesson. I am a lot more comfortable saying no now after similar experience 😀 Good luck and sorry you are in this situation

Yes this. I lent someone a good friend £500 until the next ot day. It didn’t come back. I was a single parent. I sent them two letters asking for my money back either as a lump sum in 30 days or in two instalments for the 1 st of the next two months and supplied bank details.

I didn’t hear back from the first and for the second she said she couldn’t pay me at all. I included copies of my original texts saying loan of £500 until the 18 of this month to be paid back after you get paid etc

I filed on 32 days after my letter and enclosed the original bank transfer, her text asking for a loan, and all documents of the contact about money. I think it costs me about £130 to claim and I was awarded the full amount in 14 days plus my lump sum of £500 and interest. She paid the day after the court decision to avoid a default on her credit. Best thing I did and so easy.

Hmm this is very cheeky. This is a supposed friend? I'd be mortified to treat a mate like this, especially one that had lent me money. I'd reply 'The money was a loan, not a gift, as agreed at the time. I do need you to repay it straight away and I'm upset this is something I've had to ask you for'. Whatever she replies should tell you everything you need to know about her and the money.
You can't turn back time op, but it will be lesson learnt, whatever the outcome.

If you haven't already got evidence you need to text her back with the details and get her confirm the amount etc in writing without her knowing it!
Ie:
I can't believe I was nice and lent you the £400 you asked for and now are you saying you won't give it back? We said pay back by last month. I need the money I've got bills to pay!
Even if the last bit isn't true it may provoke a response thus confirming the loans.
Then small claims court

The sentiment is nice but she won't give a fuck about your car problems even if they are real.

Hi Jo

I really do need the money hence why I’ve chased you up. Didn’t think I’d have to chase to be honest, I was helping you out when I lent you the money so assumed you would pay me back in good faith as agreed. The clutch on my car went today, it’s booked in for Monday to be repaired. It’ll cost £675 plus VAT so like I said I really do NEED the money back.

Bank details are XYZ. I need it back today. I value our friendship Jo, but please don’t fuck me over on this, I won’t let it lie. It’s my money, not yours. Sounds petty but I’ve looked in to the small claims court and that’s the next route I’ll take.

Like I said, let’s not make this a thing. Pay me the money today and we can move on.

I don't understand why you've let her get away with so much in the past AND then think it'll be okay to lend her £400 thinking you'd get it back, 'fool me once, shame on you' quote comes to mind.
I'd do the small claims court, then escalate if needed, then when sorted out one way or the other drop her.
She's not been a friend to you for god knows how long in any sense.

Hi Fiend.
I really don't think its your place to decide if I need money or not, just as I didn't think it was my place to tell you that you couldn't spend the money I loaned you on a TV and a hair appointment. But you did. So please return my money immediately or I will take further action.

Then call her husband and ask him to drop the TV off at your house as you need to sell it to get your money back.

If you do decide to take her to small claims court, you will have to pay the initial fee, and describe the details of the claim, ie you lent her money, you can detail the times you have asked for the money back.

The court will then send her paperwork, but if she decides to ignore it after 30 days you have a couple of choices to make, non of them unfortunately guarantee's you getting your money back including the court fee.

I do this for my job regularly and private clients usually just ignore them.

I find it satisfying to just issue a county court judgement and have not further contact with them. Usually about 5 or 6 months later one of the clients will be trying to get some sort of finance and find out they have a judgement against there name.

It can be removed after they have paid the full amount to yourself and a further £250 to the court with a detailed explaination of why they ignored the initial court paperwork.

If I was in your position I would be really pissed off and If I could afford to I would write of the money and the friend.

You’ve got the higher moral ground here.
Ask her again.
Accept any payment plan she comes up with. It is your money after all!
Quietly walk away from your friendship.
Your other friends will work her out for themselves, you don’t have to bad mouth her

Good idea, hopefully the husband has a concience

The wouldn’t win! It was an understanding and nothing appears to have been written down. I had a family member who lent a friend considerably more than £400 and repayment wasn’t forthcoming! Judge threw the case out as there was no formal agreement about repaying. Lesson learnt never lend anyone money!

Definitely:

Text discussing the loan in some way so that you get a text response that acknowledges she did borrow it, does owe it. Word it however you like you just need that in writing really.

Then.. letter before action - tell her she's got x time to pay back or small claims court.

Then small claims court.

I definitely would not let it go, she is the ultimate cunty fucker!

I’d do this OP!
Give her a chance to pay , evidence it and if she doesn’t take her to court. She has absolutely no respect for you and your friendship . If she did she would not have responded like that.

Take her to small claims court if you have your agreement in writing. Otherwise, it's a waste of time because your word against yours.
Out her as a thief on social media
However, you knew what she was like, so you shouldn't be surprised. As bill shakespeare said, neither a borrower nor a lender be.

You say to her "Which do you want more - a friend or a claim made against you in the Small Claims Court because by the end of January you will have one of them"

I'd approach her husband and say that you're very impressed with the new television and how well her hair looked but you need the £400 that you loaned his wife back and now you need it more than she does. She doesn't get to dictate whether you need it or simply want your money returned (neither is wrong, by the way) but as you're not getting any traction with her, you are turning to him. If you happen to know her family members, perhaps shaming her by saying that you didn't realise that the money you loaned her went towards luxuries but you need that money returned now and were they even aware that it was your money going towards these things.

This individual is coming across as very entitled and probably believes the world owes her a living instead of her having to work for it!

I would text her again and say actually you do need the money, the agreement was you would be repaid by end of December and you would like the money back by xxx. I would give her 5 days. If she does not I would simply go direct to small claims court and try and get it back that way

Then stop being friends with her (and I would let all mutual friends know not to lend to her and why, and indeed why they should not pay for her on any nights out!)

The exchange of texts should be enough. If the "friend" want's to claim that "it wasn't them"/"new phone. Who dis?" etc then the onus would be on them to prove that to the court who would decide on the balance of probabilities. If said "friend" had not reported the impersonation (or theft or whatever) to the police then the view will be be something like "Aye, Didya ?"

I would write it off and never talk to her again.

Small Claims: it will cause her discomfort and reconsider this way of funding luxuries she can ill afford.
Leave it: she'll keep doing it (to others) as there's no downside to it bar a few snippy texts.

You lent the money with a repayment date: she has no business saying she needs the money more than you. Your finances are fuck all to do with her. She needs to repay.

Why on earth did you give her the money with form like she has shown you previously? I don’t understand how she managed to get you to pay for her lunch and her friends. She sounds like a complete user. I would threaten small claims court and also never do another thing for her no matter how desperate she is, or seems.