Friend refusing to pay back money lent "I need the money more than you do"

cheeky fucker

Wow what a cheeky fucker she is definitely no friend. I wouldn't let it go on principle but before I send a formal letter before action I'd send one final text:

"As you well know, the £400 was not a gift it was a loan & should have been repaid by now. Please transfer the full amount by XX date (I'd give a few working days - next Friday?) or you'll leave me with no choice other than to start proceedings with the small claims court. If that means you get another loan or sell your new TV to cover it them so be it but not repaying isn't an option."

This. I took somebody to the equivalent of small claims and not only did I get my money back plus costs, but the satisfaction of knowing that would be on his credit file.

What is CF?

Great post! Love this. Thank you.

I would take her to small claims. Don't let her type win.

Personally I would not take a former friend to small claims court not for that amount anyway. . But I would be very clear that I wanted the money back.

I’d say something like “ we agreed you’d pay me back by December and I’ve had no apology or explanation as to why you couldn’t make that deadline. I’ll give you to the end of this week/month but if you can pay me back sooner that would be better. I definitely can’t give you another extension beyond this week/month”

I only ever lend money to friends that I can afford to not get back, I had a childhood friend who was a bit similar to yours except I never lent her anymore than £100 at a time, although altogether it amounted to a few hundred. She didn’t pay a penny back but I was actually okay with that as I’d always said to her you don’t need to pay it back if you can’t afford to. Out of decency though I expected she would get me the odd coffee or meal in return. She never did - in fact she expected me to pay for her and her 3 children if we ever went out.

Eventually I realised the friendship was too one sided and I was compensating for their households poor financial management, because she allowed her useless partner to spend all his money on weed. So I just let it fade away.

Oh and if you don’t get the money back you should end the friendship. Either way do not lend her money or pay for meals again, she’s a user who has no respect for you and it won’t be reciprocated ever.

Small claims court.

Send her a registered letter telling her unless you get your money back you will take her to small claims court.

CF'er saying you don't need the money - who do these people think they are?

To expand.
It's not the only option.
You could take it up the arse while she laughs at you and fans herself with your money.

I'd prefer to go down the legal route even if I never got a penny. Just for the satisfaction of a ccj on her credit score.

I'd follow up with a message stating the terms of the loan, the amount, when it was to be paid back. (for written record), then say you will accept installments of £100 per month, if she cannot pay it all back in one go. Tell her that you're being more than reasonable and that if she wants to pay in installments, you'd like the first one no later than 10th January, then subsequent by the 10th of each month thereafter.

If you get no response or payments, then send a recorded mail Letter Before Action on 11th February, giving her 14 days to repay the full £400. Then go down the Small Claims route.

Screenshot all communications in-case she deletes them.

Don't respond to her who needs it more than the other BS, that is irrelevant.

And when you message her back today, remind her that she still needs to return her other friend's broken Dyson Airwrap.

It's clear from her response that small claims court is your only option. Send her a letter before action and go from there.

Maybe she owes money for a broken Dyson Airwrap 😅

Simple answer is “You don’t”. Put it down to experience and NEVER lend money to a friend again. It’s a good rule of thumb never to lend money that you can’t afford to lose but I prefer the old adage “neither a borrower nor a lender be”.

You're paying Pushover Tax.

There's a slightly ruder term for this but it would get me in trouble with MN 😅

Far worse things in life than being taken for a ride. When you find yourself swinging baseball bats into a tv and yelling “that a show ya” then you know you’re in trouble.

The money is annoying but there is no need to become the person who didn’t repay it

"OK so we both think each other is being unreasonable. We'll leave it to the Small Claims Court to make the decision."

Gently reminded her this morning by text

Why gently? More fool you really for keeping her in your life and allowing her to use you.

Cheeky fuckerS.

OP make this year to work on exterting healthy boundaries. 💐

A former friend once asked me to lend her money despite her commitment phobic boyfriend who was living with her but reluctant to admit he was living with her contributing NOTHING to the household.

I told her I didn’t feel comfortable lending friends money. She fell out with me - oh well!

I think for the sake of trying to get the money back amicably I'd reply along the lines of thinking she was joking. "Ha ha, very funny miss new tv and fancy hair! I do need it back by X date as my car insurance is due amd I budgeted this £400 for it. Did you have a nice new year?" Then go from there. If she messes you around further then I agree with the small claims court suggestions. Also, download or print screen your WhatsApp thread in case you need it for evidence!

She is a nasty, greedy totally selfish piece of work. Get your money back if you can then drop her. I wouldn't text her about the new TV and haircut. Make up a sad tale as to why you need the money.

then she has had form for borrowing things and giving them back late and damaged, or not at all

So she has shown you what she is like before - why did you not believe her?

No sympathy for you @Foy19 , it is enablers that allow CFs to behave as they do

If not repaying a loan because she needs it more than the lender was an acceptable thing to do no one would ever pay their credit card bill.

If you have evidence of the loan and she has the means to repay then it would be worth the initial court fee to see if that brings results. If she doesn’t have a visible source of income, such as from employment there is no point in pursuing court action.

The only consolation for the future is that cutting her and her sponging ways out of your life will save you more than £400.

£400 is a very cheap price to pay with regards to learning (finally) that she is a CF and not really a friend, only someone that uses you. Bin / Block and forget.

Text her back.

"You don't need a CCJ either".

I'd have been done with her after paying for her friend's meal! Dear god, what a brass neck!