Friend refusing to pay back money lent "I need the money more than you do"

She's had you marked as a soft touch for 22 years. She's never been your friend. Is she like this with everyone or just you?

Small claims is best way to go as many PPs have said.

No you wouldn't but you think it would be fun if OP did.

Why do people suggest these silly things?

She's an absolute leech. I would definitely threaten (and follow through with) small claims.

I’d just turn up at her house and refuse to leave before she transfers the money or hands it over in cash.

I'm genuinely not sure why you thought she was your friend, OP.
Her behaviour screams cheeky fucker user.

Small claims is likely your only option here. She feel entitled to your money. You need to dissuade her of that idea.

This. Set out the situation, how you came to lend it to her, what the agreements was and that she has reneged on the agreement. Tell her you are unhappy with her latest response as its your money and whether you need it or not, is not her decision as she agreed to pay it back. Ask her what she will do. Tell her she has 48hrs to tell you.

The aim of this is to get her to acknowledge what has happened and therefore that she owed you the money...even if she tells you she isn't paying you back without disputing the background, it fulfils what you need.

Then follow on with what the above has advised.

Love the bit about the Dyson Airwrap.. think we are all addicted to that little tale!

This. She is not your friend.

She's not a friend.
OP, She's used you.
Accept that you'll never see the money back and cut her out of your life.
And stick to it.
I got burned like this many years ago for nearly £1000 by an ex boyfriend.
It stung for a long time, but I learned from it.

Unfortunately she isn’t your friend. She sounds nasty with her snide comments and very entitled expecting other people to pay so she can have nice things. The world doesn’t owe her anything and you are not a charity.

It’s up to you what you do next, but it should include cutting her out of your life. You will feel much lighter, why have you been friends for so long?

If you will not be too out of pocket - cut your losses. Send her scathing text and block.
Never to be contacted again.

This

That money's gone, OP. An expensive lesson.

Small claims court. Like yesterday.

Stop being such a doormat.

She's a thief & you're a mug, I dont mean to be cruel OP, but 'fool me once . . .' etc.
I think I'd try the small claims idea (provided you have enough evidence for a good case) & then cut her off.

Small claims court.
You have the texts as proof.
Learn from this.

Some friends really are utter bastards. Sorry OP!

I lent a friend 200 quid last year, she said her bank paid her 4pm and she’d put it in my account at 4. I was lending her it for a matter of hours.
Shes since had a holiday and got married and lied monthly about when I’m getting my money.
200 quid I really couldn’t afford to lose either.
I’m more pissed off at myself for lending it, I should have told her to just go the cash point.
Never again.

I would be telling her she isn’t taking the piss out of me and demanding the money back.

The friendship is dead and she is a user so I wouldn’t care less how she reacts.

I think that as she has form for being a cheeky fucker you were a mug to lend her anything, let alone £400. I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll get that money back and you should probably send her a message telling her very firmly that you hope she enjoys her new tv as that’ll be the last time you have any contact with her. She’s a user, not a friend.

You are not stupid but you certainly made an error of judgement OP, as we all do sometimes. This woman is most unlikely to pay you back anything. I would mentally write off the debt and vow never to lend anyone money again. Either refuse future requests or give the money as a gift. I have done this with friends and relatives who asked for a loan and it feels much better than facing all the resentment and hurt later. And a few people insist on paying you back even if you said it was a gift.

@Foy19

I'm assuming you don't have a written agreement. If you're serious about pursuing her in Small Claims Court, I'd send her a text that says "When I lent you £400 in September, you agreed to repay me by the end of December. I haven't received the money I lent you back. When do you plan to repay this loan?". Note that it mentions 'loan/lent/repay' multiple times as well as the amount and specific dates. Hopefully you'll get a response from her that agrees either literally or by implication that it was a loan and she knew she needed to repay, even if she adds 'go whistle'. That might satisfy the courts that she owes you the money.

That being said, consider the costs of SCC vs the amount she owes. Also, to the best of my knowledge all SCC does is make a legal order to repay, they don't make her 'cut you a cheque' right then and there. So you may possibly have to pay someone to actually collect the debt.

I'm not saying this to discourage you, if you want to pursue her, then do it. But also consider whether you'd rather just write it off as a 'bad debt', lesson learnt, and simply block her and move on from the friendship.

And to add to my previous post the friendship is done. Whether she pays you back or not this is not a good friend. Again, she has zero respect for you and I wonder if she even likes you?

Also has form for snide comments such as "wow haven't you got big" after not having seen each other for nearly a year, during which I'd put on weight.

Small claims court

Screenshot all messages now for evidence. I would give her a heads up in the hope she might see the light. Her head needs a wobble.

@ReadingSoManyThreads

And when you message her back today, remind her that she still needs to return her other friend's broken Dyson Airwrap.

I lol’d. I really did.

As she’s admitted it is a loan, I would definitely take her to small claims.