Friend refusing to pay back money lent "I need the money more than you do"

Sadly if you've not get a written agreement, then the small claims court is a non starter. The other little known thing about this court is it costs you money to start the claim, and you may very well end up with a bigger bill than just writing the loan off. I've been to the SCC over a tenant not paying rent, so although there was a CCJ put against them, I ended up with all the court fees plus still no sign of the rent. So it was a waste of time and more good money thrown away.

If you actually got her to court, all she would have to do is deny you loaned her the money, and said it was a gift, it's her word against yours. Without a written agreement....

I'm afraid you've got to write your money off and write her off (as a friend) as well.

Back in the 90s I once lent a friend £100 to pay her mortgage, (I was on my own struggling to pay my own bills)- anyway took me months of asking for it back & eventually did get back in instalment's, which I had to collect like a loan shark.
I went round in the peeing rain, when she answered the door, she was in shorts (Nov) spray tanned & new outfit hanging up, ready for the night out 😩
I will never, ever lend money out again. To that day I have never clapped eyes on this so called user of a friend thankfully.

That friend is no friend & if she’s throwing insults your way, sounds like she wants you to fall out with her so that she doesn’t have to give you the money back- she’s a total bitch!

She's envious of your wealth and certainly not a friend.

You had signals before, bad comments, scroungy friends invited to dinner, and it's a shame you wanted to be so nice once more when it's not appropriate.

Some behaviours show the quality of people.

Yep I was going to suggest this if on fb 👍🏻

I hope you have proof. Over the years we lent a (then) family member thousands. Usually to fix her car. When she divorced, we asked about repayment. “You can’t prove it was a loan. There’s nothing in writing”. True.

Just don’t lend her an aiwrap …
She is using you.
Send a txt - only written communication that you can refer to later.
Tell her unless she pays by x date that you will take to small claims court - and give her a date.
Don’t accept partial payments.

Wow. She's got some brass neck!! Agree you should persue through the small claims court. Do you have proof of the loan?

Wow with friends like this who needs enemies? The trouble with small claims is the hassle. My Sil Runs a business and said they were told under 2k not worth claiming. I would give her one last try and wipe her .you don't want her in your life.shes a user .

qft

she is so entitled and mean. get your money back

Thank you, I hope I never need the template, but it's so reassuring to have it.

Also thank you to the other pp who advise keeping any text "evidence" showing the persons agreement to pay back by an agreed date, and definitely where they have texted that they have "no intention" to do so.

I seem to remember from quite a few years back, when I used to be (sad😱) watch Judge John Rinders televised court cases, that often included cases of non repayment of loans.... I'm sure the advice was pretty much the same.

It’s for the small claims to decide if there is enough evidence and that text exchange does prove that money was lent

Registered letter giving her 28 days to pay it back. Then online small claims court - it’s really simple and not much to pay for admin based on that amount. You can add it onto the amount owed anyway as costs. Do it. If she doesn’t pay she’ll have a CCJ registered against her.

Do you have solid written proof that the money was a loan and she was expected to pay you back - proof good enough to stand up in Court? Otherwise she'll just laugh at you.
Can't believe you were foolish enough to lend her the money, though we've all done stupid things. Are you really so desperate that you have needed this person as your "friend"?

Absolutely. Even if the op can afford to not have the money going to court would teach the criminal not to steal. She’s a loser criminal stealing from you. Don’t let this scum get away with your cash op.

Not vicious to take her to court , she owes her the money and looks like she has no intention of paying her back.

Go no contact Off the Christmas card list, small claims court application fired in

Save any texts and use small claims

I think she will ignore any messages about the money. Meaning you can't take her to court because there isn't enough evidence of it all.

Does she get paid monthly at the end of the month? If so I would suggest you message her to say something like:

When I loaned you the £400 in x month 2024 you promised to pay it back in full by December 2024.

As that's not happens we need to set up a payment plan. My account and sort code details are as follows xxxxxxx xx-xx-xx.

If you pay me back £50 a month into my bank account starting on 1 February, that would work for me. Does that seem acceptable to you?

Thanks"

That way she is more likely to think yeah I can do that and sign up to it by reply message.

It's not much per month so it's affordable, it's a month away so sounds like yeah I will have money by then, so she will be keener to say yes.

I doubt she will say yes to a repayment now as the bitch will be skint. So you're liable to be ignored and blocked and have no recourse. This way you have to wait a bit longer for the money but if she defaults you have evidence to take her to court.

This. She won't expect you to do it, so it will throw her right off course.

Being In Total Control Honey - makes good sense to me too.

Envy can be an awful thing. She's feeling entitled.

I am sorry op but I don’t think she ever has been your friend.

"I have things I need to spend the money on thank you. I'm sorry you are struggling, but I lent you the money on the understanding I would get it back when I needed it."

If she says anything else, tell her you'll refer to small claims court. I would to avoid pointing out her lifestyle, because if you need the money she borrowed then whether it's the only way she can feed her kids or she's buying designer gear with it, isn't super relevant
.

She's a con-artist and has used emotional blackmail (Kids) to extort money out of you via deception. Small claims court. Screenshot all evidence of her lying about paying it back - She's a proper scumbag. Sounds like a champagne lifestyle on a cider budget.