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Original poster

Friend refusing to pay back money lent "I need the money more than you do"

235 replies

Foy19 · 03/01/2025 15:42

I have known her for 22 years. Best friends at school,, kept in touch and seen regularly over the years since. Since then she has had form for borrowing things and giving them back late and damaged, or not at all. Also for not paying her share at meals etc, simply expecting me to pay for her and even once a friend she brought with her to an evening out. Also has form for snide comments such as "wow haven't you got big" after not having seen each other for nearly a year, during which I'd put on weight.

Foolishly lent her £400 in September on the understanding that she would pay back by end December, even in instalments rather than the full amount at once. The money was supposed to be to help her look after her young DC while her DP was out of work and they were apparently struggling. Few weeks later they had brought a brand new TV and she had a haircut and colour which she said cost £200.

Gently reminded her this morning by text that she owes me what I lent her and got back: "I can't afford to pay you back. I need the money more than you do".

Clearly I've been stupid in lending her the cash in the first place, but how do I get it back?

OP posts:
user23124 · 03/01/2025 15:49

I'd go to her house and take the TV saying "Mine broke, I am in the middle of Corro. I need it more than you do"
Fuck her. Seriously this is not a friend.

poemsandwine · 03/01/2025 15:48

Cheeky fuckers are alive and well. She's not your friend. You could take her to court, I suppose. Personally, I'd just have nothing else to do with her ever again.

Cerialkiller · 03/01/2025 15:48

Agreed! I would ensure the texts proving the borrowing were saved somewhere where they won't be deleted (not WhatsApp). Then send a single text saying I want the full amount by X date or I will be taking this to small claims and adding the costs onto the amount owed.

I imagine she will spit feathers and threaten and whatever but it didn't sound like much of a friendship anyway.

RoGlendaleMcDu · 03/01/2025 15:48

Tell her in writing so in text or whatsapp or email that you want back the money you lent to her, stating the amount and if you will accept instalments. It is up to you whether at this point you mention you will take her to small claims court and I absolutely would.

I have only ever lent family money but on the transfer the reference is "loan" so they know it is to be paid back and I can prove it is a loan if I too needed to go down the small claims court route.

EmmaMaria · 03/01/2025 15:48

Make sure that text is screenshot just in case it disappears.

Then send her a letter before action, registered delivery, telling her that she has 28 days to repay the £400 that she borrowed after which you will be taking her to court and adding costs to the amount owed to you.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/01/2025 15:46

I would also consider small claims court.

Even if you don’t this, she’s no longer your friend.

TheFlis · 03/01/2025 15:46

I second small claims, she’s taking the absolute piss and I would not be bothered about losing her as a friend at this point.

Sunsetsandcocktails · 03/01/2025 15:45

Text back ‘if you can buy a new tv and a £200 haircut then you can afford to. You were supposed to pay me back by the end of dec, let me know when I can expect it’

shutmycurtain · 03/01/2025 15:45

Wow
She isn't a friend and is effectively stealing from you.
She won't pay you back
Cut your losses and erase this scum from your life

Pixilicious1 · 03/01/2025 15:44

Small claims court. Don’t mess about, she’s not your friend and has no intention of ever paying you back. She is a piss taker.