Was this a typical birth experience?

It’s completely and utterly shit and you should complain to PALS. It’s awful the country’s maternity services are in this state and women are not being supported properly. I don’t think men should be allowed to stay overnight in maternity wards but pragmatically it may now be necessary if we can’t care for women through sufficient trained professionals, I hope you are ok now.

That said, I’ve just supported my partner (sane sex) through a planned c section. She couldn’t have skin to skin as she was in shock with nausea and blood loss. Baby then went to NICU. She couldn’t see him fit 24 hours. They said they treat the birth day as day zero so we’re not too worried about fluid intake etc - be he was not prem and a good weight. She has bit got bfing going though. So just noting that even with planning things can go awry.

How awful that you were left for that long with no way of changing your newborn baby's nappy or feeding them. And no one even checking that you hadn't keeled over from not eating for 24 hours. It's a sorry state of affairs really when women accept poor care as the norm.

Anaesthetist and we always offer skin to skin with mum unless there is a good reason not to, some don’t want it, sometimes an issue with baby meaning it isn’t appropriate but most of the time we make it happen if that is what is wanted!

Sounds like your FH didn't speak up for you. He was handed the baby and then just went and dressed him. Why didn't he say you wanted skin to skin? Did he do skin to skin himself?

And then he just left? Just accepted he couldn't even see you settled in the ward. Seems a bit crap. His job as birth partner is to be there for you not just be a passive audience.

This doesn’t sound right
I had a cs and I had skin to skin as soon as drs were happy with my baby.
he was born early hours and I was provided tea and toast.
They were rubbish at answering bells on the ward with me too

Sounds about right I didnt get skin to skin my daughter was prem so got rushed to baby care got a quick glimpse that’s all didn’t see her for around 4 hours till after recovery my partner had to go see her he could only show me pictures of her.

she was 4 month early she’s now 6 and sitting next to me playing Roblox eating a subway 😂

I don’t know how typical it is but it isn’t acceptable - you needed and deserved a much higher standard of care.

I had an EMCS and experience sounds pretty similar. I was surprised after having a VB the first time around as I just assumed skin to skin etc would still happen but honestly I was so relieved it was over I didn’t care that much and honestly can tell you it made no difference.

The ward experience I’m not sure of, my first sounds similar to that but that was covid so not sure what the excuse can be now! Sadly post partum care is just shocking all round. So yes normal but that doesn’t mean it’s ok or a good experience.

I would definitely complain about a baby with that history not being fed for 7hrs, that's ridiculous.

I'm not sure. I had a c section in June, like you I didn't really know what to expect. I had skin to skin as soon as I could (they did the 'lion king' moment lowering the sheet!!) Then took baby away to be weighed. Partner cut the cord and then baby came over to me in a towel for skin to skin, I did feel quite nauseous so didn't do it for long. Baby passed to partner for skin to skin instead. In recovery I was given tea and toast then assisted by staff to do skin to skin when I was feeling better.

On the ward I was given a bedbath by one of the staff and my partner helped. Then moved to a side room, not sure why. Partner allowed to stay overnight it was the case for the whole ward even if we were in a bay, but staff were strict with partners not leaving during hours of 10-6 etc not to use toilet facilities etc etc.

Care afterwards varied - I unfortunately had a ?bowel obstruction with heavy vomiting etc in the first couple of days afterwards, vomit bowls took a long time to be taken away (20 mins with buzzer unanswered). Breastfeeding support was also varied and my baby also struggled to latch (had a tongue tie). Some staff were amazing, others not so much. But I never felt unsafe or anything. I think postnatal wards are notoriously understaffed.

My recovery unfortunately was poor but I think I was unlucky. I had a persistent infection in my wound and needed 3 rounds of antibiotics. Didn't fully heal over until 4 months pp. I also kept getting mastitis because I was combination feeding and not pumping effectively. As I said I think I was unlucky as I've read some stories on here where recoveries have been amazing.

Edited our postnatal ward also had a kitchen open to both patients and visitors. Self serve items like fruit, toast, yoghurts, cheese and crackers, and sandwiches in the fridge. Tea and coffee. That's what they did for breakfast but obviously snacks could be had at any time. I think it was a really good system tbh

Hmm well looks like my DD had a good birth experience a few days ago. Waters broke in night. Contractons started late afternoon. Taken to MW unit at half 8, baby born a few minutes past 9. Given tea and toast and spent whole night in delivery room with her DH. Went home 8.30am after breakfast
Wzs a MLU though

No it’s not right and you should definitely complain.
however, unfortunately it is not an unusual story and similar has happened to many other women. This doesn’t make it right (the main sticking issue for me is after birth when you were left without access to your bags and no one answered your buzzer to help- that’s despicable)

Theatre aspect is pretty standard. There is a push for skin to skin in theatre but realistically it’s cold in theatres and you are in the middle of major surgery often feeling nauseous etc so a lot of the time it’s not the experience you expect even if you do have staff willing to push for it. You also have to hand the baby to someone at the end when being rolled for cleaning and transferred to a bed for health and safety so would be uninterrupted anyway. Skin to skin in recovery is often more realistic.

The postnatal experience is poor. Why can’t partners even come on to the ward to settle you down? And poor form from staff not having time to help you, appreciate it’s busy but you are unable to help yourself after a spinal and are reliant on them. Not answering a call bell is dangerous you may have been calling for something serious.

Does sound familiar, i didn’t get skin to skin in theatre which i asked for and they knew i was sad about, one nurse held DD’s (wrapped up) face to my cheek. Got it in theatre but I was also numb from shoulders down for a while as the epidural went too high so I couldn’t hold her so it didn’t last long as I was losing a lot of blood so DH just held her whilst the midwives focused . They did respond to the buzzer but not given any help to get stuff out of bags etc which were on the floor whilst I couldn’t really move yet, then I got told off next morning that I hadn’t changed her nappy yet.

I was also fed late at night but was promptly sick straight after (I’d been being sick throughout labour).

I really feel birth partners need to be allowed to stay post section, as it’s nearly impossible to care for a baby whilst numb, and it would have made a world of difference to me. I know women don’t want men on the wards though, and private rooms would presumably cost too much.

Oh Christ! It’s always those things we remember too, isn’t it. The recovery ward was horrendously hot with me too. And the ward! Middle of a heatwave for the youngest 2!

Overall I had a pretty positive birth experience but between the meconium, accidently ripping my cannula out and bleeding all over myself, and the sweats from the 40°C temps on the recovery ward, I felt more grimy than I did after a weekend at Glastonbury.

I had my first in hospital at 4.20pm. The food was delayed and not very much food and the midwife got cross every time I pressed the buzzer. I had a straight forward delivery so didn't need as much help but I felt like an inconvenience. The midwife who delivered me was nice but busy popping between rooms even though my labour was progressing very quickly so I went without gas and air for a while.

For the next 2 I had home births as I wasn't keen on repeating the experience.

So not a bad experience but I did feel like I was an inconvenience and they didn't really have time to help with feeding etc.

Oh gosh, I bet that felt awful! My youngest was small and he kept slipping onto my neck but, same as you; DH was instructed to support.

This is exactly how we did sin to skin in theatre following my section - up high, almost next to my face. My DH was there supporting him.

I wish they'd taken a bit more time with him before bringing him over for skin to skin - they weighed him and wrapped him in a blanket with a hat but forgot to put a nappy on him so I ended up covered in meconium which was utterly grim. Great for helping me mobilise post-section though as I was desperate to get out of my bed and into the shower!

I didn't have skin to skin after my section, I think I did when I got onto the recovery ward though but possibly we just did that ourselves (me and DH)
I was the last section of the day so had to deal with the spinal block all night without dh there to help. The midwives were amazing though and answered the buzzer, passed me the baby, helped me feed her etc. I'm sure I had some toast at some point as well.

I really don't think it's acceptable that they left you alone all night.

I’ve had 4 csections and I’ve had skin to skin in theatre every time. They place baby on the top of your chest, almost near your neck.

I had an elective section so a bit different, but had immediate skin to skin as soon as DD was checked over...she just had a nappy on and was not dressed. I had some toast and tea in recovery. They should definitely have made sure you had your bags and essential bits for the baby...I seem to remember that they attached my bags to the bed itself so that it definitely came with me from recovery. The post natal ward was terrible...no help at all and I remember buzzing and no one coming so had to get baby out myself etc. So generally thr c section and recovery was great but ward awful

What? I can only assume your aren't in the UK as 95% of the csections I've done in the last 9y (probably about 200/yr) all get skin to skin unless mum/baby are unwell. Theatres are cold - that's part of the reason we do skin to skin so they can have mums heat directly then we place 2 towels ontop. It is awkward to hold baby but that's what the anaesthetist and birth partner is there to assist with

We didn’t do skin to skin when I had any of my 4, and during my planned c/s I had a medical emergency so my post birth cuddle was a minute or two before he was whisked away so they could deal with me. None of this affected anything so to be fair so I don’t think this caused his latch issues - has he been checked for tounge tie?
Im surprised you didn’t get a cuppa and biscuits or toast afterwards if the kitchens were shut but it does sound like the ward was very busy - not that that is an excuse but sometimes it’s the way it is if others need more nursing attention.
I’m sure it was very frustrating not being able to reach your bags or baby but I don’t think it’s worth a complaint now but you could request a de brief to discuss it if you wished