My 18 year old told me last night about something that happened at the swimming pool when she was in Year 7/8

OP, I think it’s important that your DD knows she and her mates did the right thing - they moved away. Some girls and women feel awkward about going this but it is important. I’m wondering whether this pervert took his child swimming deliberately to attract the interest of girls.

I think that's true.
A female relative of mine had a bad expense in the 1940s when she was a young girl. It's always gone on sadly.

Good for him!

I have to agree with this - I've never had a bad or worrying experience like this and the men I've know have been lovely generally. Some have been twats in adult life, but normal run of the mill wankers, not sexually so. I'm obviously bloody fortunate and I hope to god my DD is as fortunate.

Sadly I think this is typical. In both primary and secondary school I had quite long walks home from school and I was always getting lewd remarks from men or they flashed. First time it happened, i was about 8. It never particularly upset me - I just made me think the men were idiots. I told my mum a few years ago, by which time I was at least in my 40s. She was shocked.

My DH knocked over a man who was sitting on a wall near the park, right into the garden behind him, because he was making dodgy remarks to our then 9 year old.

I remember being on holiday with my family when I was probably 9 or 10 and going to this restaurant where the waiter asked my name and kept repeating when he came over to the table “beautiful errors, you are so beautiful” and “we will run away together and get married”
My parents just thought it was funny and we went back there to eat a few more times. My mom even teased me about it for ages afterwards.

I just remember feeling really uncomfortable and scared by it

Many years ago, a dance school ran socials for young teams 13 and upwards.
You would learn to dance ballroom, but to pop music and there were also some, smoochy slow dancing. A married couple ran the place and taught. It was the only option in town for our age. The rule was, you could not refuse if someone asked you to dance. They allowed one older guy to attend as a helper, her was probably 30 but looked older. He was very unattractive and looked like a creep.

My first time he asked me to dance, I was 14 and mortified, he pressed himself against me and as I now know was aroused and erect. He also had foul breath.
I soon learned to be on my guard and ran to the ladies if I saw him coming. Soon I met my boyfriend, a year older which gave me protection. This was over fifty years ago, but now am disgusted that this was allowed. Obviously, not as bad as what some young girls go through, but a nasty way to lose some of my innocence. The owners put this needs of this creep ahead of innocent young girls, who were paying customers. Sadly all too common in those days and we were all too intimidated to move away or complain

Praise her for trusting her gut, and encourage her to keep practicing making smart choices and responses to situations

On a positive, your daughter told you so trusts you... x

A flasher repeatedly targeted my junior school playground as a public lane ran down the side. It was an all-girls school. We got told if we saw him someone should run and find an adult and the rest of us should close are eyes and scream very loudly. My mum told me I should point and laugh! 80s safeguarding was a bit odd. I'm sorry this happened to your daughter and I am glad she told you.

In our second year (25 years ago now) at school we had a new music teacher. He would have been early 40s, suited and well spoken. After a few months he started to invite those girls who were playing instruments in for a private assessment at lunchtime. He got us to play our instrument and then put a board on our lap with some music to play- he held one side. As we were playing he manipulated the edge of the board towards my crotch. At first I thought it was accidental, so I moved a little away. Then it happened again. The look on his face also made it clear this was no accident. I became flustered and quickly left.

He did this to a number of girls and in frankness we were afraid to complain. Feeling (I think rightly at that time), that we would not be believed and that we would be the ones to feel consequences. A younger teacher overheard us discussing what had occurred and joined in the conversation. He quietly but quickly disappeared, but probably off to predate elsewhere.

I think abuse is more common than you think and it is really important OP that your DD gets to talk and also that she knows she would be listed to if she reported this. We would not have been, but I would like to think things have changed.

I hope your dad was horrified and apologised to you. Predatory teachers feel like the worst of them all.

I’m not surprised your dd didn’t tell youX

its not easy to talk about.

i some bad experiences as a child and my mum was naive and uptight so it never occurred to her to talk about “these things”.

My dd is now a teen, and since she was age 9 I’ve talked to her about what she might be shown online by friends, or sharing concerns about creepy men who had been following girls home from school. She talked a lot about her y6 male classmates sexually inappropriate behaviour and how horrible it was (she decided to go to an all girls secondary school). And so far she says she hasn’t had to deal with anything unpleasant… but who knows if that’s true.

I really hope my dd would talk to me about something unsettling - I can’t be sure she would. It’s difficult as kids don’t like chatting to parents about this stuff.

Yep thats some men for you.

Id been flashed twice in the park by age 12. Luckily my mum had warned me about such men so it wasn’t a shock. I just laughed and shouted “its too tiny to see” which took the wind right out of his pervy sails.

I would be really wary of sharing stories about your own inappropriate experiences as young girls with older men on here, this is exactly the kind of thread perverts love to find. It’s possible to sympathise with the OP without sharing personal stories

My maternal uncle used to corner me in my maternal grandmother's garden shed. I used to do some weeding for her most weekends. Routinely, he would grab me and try to feel various parts of my body. On one occasion, I bit him really hard and he screamed out. My grandmother came running out. He told her what I'd done and she slapped me. I made sure that I never went there again when he was likely to be around.
Many months later, I did tell my mother. She said that she would do something about it. I don't know what she said, but they moved hundreds of miles away and I never saw them again.

I agree. I went to a girls school and we were always being told to stay away from the school field at break times as there would be a man prowling about.

What makes so many men so sexually weird and creepy?

I'm glad your daughter has been able to tell you even though its a few years later. As others have said I would revisit this and see if there is more to tell, just incase there is . ( I hope there is not)

I could tell many 'stories' of different things happening while I was a child of varying ages. There was actually a 'local flasher' that police could never seem to catch and when they did another popped up!

One main incident that sticks in my head is being 15 in school in a technology lesson. I needed help and the male teacher come right behind me leaning on me and it was creepy. I told him to get off me a called him a peado, all the girls had seen him looking at girls in their skirts and had a 'wrong un' vibe about him. There was a phone call home and I got absolutely rail roaded for what I said and made to apologise.
I left school some months later and my dad brings me the newspaper telling me a teacher from my school had been sacked and jailed for being a peado.

It was the same teacher I had called a peado!! so I pointed this out to my dad and told him I knew I was right 😬.

In terms of swimming I swam competitively for a club. photos and video taking ect had to be banned because male spectators were creeping into the girls changing rooms and videoing the girls getting changed ect. These were often relatives of someone in the club. It makes me sick to my stomach that there are so many women/ young girls that can recall such awful events happening to them or others around them.

Funny when things happen you don't realise it was intentional till years later but it sticks in your mind because deep down you know it was wrong. An old guy at a summer fete in the 60s lifting us little girls onto a donkey, and you can guess where his hands were when he lifted us up, good thing is parents wouldn't allow that touching now - hopefully

Our French teacher back in the late 80's was caught making pornographic photos with another teacher after hours, he was also fraternising with ex pupils. Photographic evidence was found. It made the front page of the NOTW! He used to rub a stick between his legs in class and ask us to speak in French to describe our bedrooms.
Jeez, now I write that down....

Absolutely this.
For it to be still on her mind after all these years is a bit telling.

It could’ve that she’s plucking up courage to tell about something that’s much worse.

A young man I worked with ( colleague) eventually divulged terrible abuse he’d suffered at a children’s home.

Tragically he died ( substance abuse).
I was too young then to be able to advise him properly.
The rage and disgust he felt was just too much for him to bear.

I hate to say this but you’re lucky it wasn’t something worse but I understand you’re upset. I had a much worse encounter with a friend’s dad when I was 7 and been flashed by a completely naked man by the time I was 15. I don’t think I’m unusual. As a female you’re never more than a few steps away from some weirdo that would love to show you his penis whether you’re 7 or 17.

That’s absolutely revolting and inappropriate for a teacher to da that.
What a wretched man.
He knew damn well what he was doing, as well.