My partner left my birthday

Pay close attention to how partners treat you on your birthday. Directly linked to how special you are to them. Been there, seen it and read so many times on MN, too.

No one should put up with it, but at 22 you shouldn't give it a second thought; you deserve better than this.

What was the emergency? Was it big enough to upset him emotionally?

If not, he's behaved in a way to make your day all about him and ruin it for you.

Have you been together long? It's a massive red flag in a new relationship. Maybe cool it for a while - or end it if you feel able.

With respect to you , you are both quite young and maybe he hasn't had much experience with getting to know a family that isn't his and it made him stressed .

Having said all that , he's not a gawky teenager so shouldn't have acted like that , it shows his immaturity and personally I'd be questioning a future with him .

sounds as if diddums didn't like not being the centre of attention.
Presumably he isn't chronically shy/introverted and has friends/copes in other social situations.
Combined with the lack of card and thought into gift giving, he sounds an inconsiderate twat - how long have you been together?

Personally I'd be reassessing the relationship.

That doesn’t make any of his behaviour remotely acceptable.

Weak man alert. What a prick. He’s got a mouth, he could speak to your family and engage them. It sounds like he gives zero shits about you OP. I would cut your losses.

He'll cut you off from your family and become more and more abusive. Jealousy over family and friends is a huge red flag. Leave the giant manchild.

Get rid of this loser!!

I suspect he wants to be centre of attention and couldn’t stand you being with all the people who love you. It’s not looking great for a future relationship - if you commit further to this man, I guarantee he will try and isolate you from your family.

What you have here is one of those men who will make every single special event absolute hell.

Future birthdays, celebrations, anniversaries, and if you have kids, their birthday parties, graduations ...

Because they were not all about him.

And his failure to consider your Christmas gift was another symptom - it was about you, so therefore not worth bothering.

Read this article before you get in any further. You've only been with him a matter of 24 months or so. It's nothing. It will get worse.

Run, love.

https://unmaskingthenarc.com/narcissists-ruin-special-occasions/

He's not a keeper, I'd be planning to leave.

He didn't like you getting all the attention. Whether or not you want to assign a Narcissist label on him is beside the point, he is showing you who he is.

Hmm. I'm afraid I agree with this.

Op - you are young and there are plenty more fish in the sea. Go find someone lovely.

He obviously didn’t want to stay at your family home so picked a fight to make you in the wrong.
Dump him now and save yourself years of heartbreak with this one.

He's an utter cunt.

Lucky old you!

He sounds like one of those guys who ruin all family/important occasions unless he's the centre of it.
Life's too short, dump him.

What you're experiencing is emotional abuse. This in turn soon becomes control as you strive to please him the next time you spend time with your family.

Look it up, do some reading, equip and arm yourself against this type of manipulation.
Your 23 year old self and beyond, will thank you.

Selfish man baby. Even if he thinks the world revolves around him, even if he lacks social skills and empathy skills - this was YOUR BIRTHDAY. There were enough clues to how he should behave. What do you now feel about the relationship OP?

My ex used to do things like this. He would also call me at work just to start an argument with me. If I didn't pick up he'd call until I did, then he would just shout at me down the phone.

After we split he used to call every Christmas just to start an argument, trying to ruin Christmas for me.

Can only echo the others.

Walk away from this one. He can't stand to see you get attention, be happy or enjoy good relationships with your family. He resents every minute you're not focused on him. That's what his performance and subsequent behaviour is all about.
Trust us.

I'm so sorry, but do you want this to be your future life? No gifts, spoiling occasions, making it hard for to to enjoy time with your family and then turning it on you. I know it's sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, but please be brave and put your happiness first x

He's telling you what to expect in future. He will alienate you from your family. He will rain on any joy that is yours and not his. He will manipulate you with his mood swings. You'll never know how to please him (or simply not anger him) because you'll be happily going about your life doing nothing wrong, and he'll suddenly blow up like this.
Get out now. This will only worsen.

Don't waste any more of your life on this pathetic excuse for a man and his childish behaviour, who obviously thinks very little of you, you can do a whole lot better than that .

If I were your parents I would be heartbroken that you were with a man like this and I would be desperately praying that you wouldn't get pregnant with him.

I always think there’s something wrong with men who spoil things like birthdays.

You should have ignored him after he started up.

Yeah, very true. The kind of guy who strops on Christmas Eve to cover up not buying any presents or get out of visiting their girlfriend or wife's family.