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Original poster

To be upset and put off by this comment

113 replies

Marjoram2 · 03/01/2025 14:05

I have been dating a guy for 3 months.

Both have kids who happen to be with our exes the next few days so we’ve been having a blissful few days at his house, included lots of “adult time”.

All was great until we were talking about our past dating lives today and he told me about the last woman he dated “we ultimately weren’t compatible which was a shame because the sex was incredible”.

I feel vile now. Not just because I heard about how good sex was with someone else but also because it made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of enough respect and consideration for him not to share this tidbit with me.

We’ve been our for a bit and we’re on our way back to his now but the thought of having to have sex with him this afternoon is not appealing, which is a great shame as it’s been a highlight of our time together up until now!

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 03/01/2025 14:11

It's a little crass. I'd be likely to say 'So what happened?' totally deadpan. Then burst out laughing. He's trying say he likes sex. He didn't say you were rubbish in bed.
To say you'll never sleep with him again over that one comment is a bit excessive. But if you're turned off then just walk away. You are not obliged to be with him if his chat makes you feel uncomfortable.

GoldsolesLugs · 03/01/2025 14:11

LittleRedRidingHoody · 03/01/2025 14:09

If you've got the ick, you've got the ick!

Personally I find it easy to talk about/be open about previous sex with partners - but everyone is different.

Yep that's right - end a relationship on a whim. Don't bother thinking about why something makes you feel a certain way, just "get the ick" and out the door. So infantile.

IlooklikeNigella · 03/01/2025 14:11

What a knob

Original poster
Marjoram2 · 03/01/2025 14:10

Balloonhearts · 03/01/2025 14:09

I can't really see the issue here? Unless he was like 'She was better than you ' implication. I'm sure you've dated people you weren't compatible with but were good in bed? Have you hidden every previous relationship you ever had from him? There will be exes.

Sorry OP I don't get this?

Edited as misread the op

Edited

Of course I’ve had past relationship with great sex! But I didn’t find it necessary to tell him about it! I don’t see why he, or anyone, would need to know how good the sex was with someone else.

OP posts:
Cheesandcrackers · 03/01/2025 14:10

Not sure why this is something you d want to talk or hear about but it's hardly a firing offence.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/01/2025 14:10

I think he overshared a little, he didn't need to mention how good the sex was with someone else

StillweriseLH · 03/01/2025 14:09

Yeah, I don’t see what he said wrong either? Though I do have to pull you up… And gently remind you that you don’t ‘have’ to have sex with anyone at any point.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 03/01/2025 14:09

If you've got the ick, you've got the ick!

Personally I find it easy to talk about/be open about previous sex with partners - but everyone is different.

Balloonhearts · 03/01/2025 14:09

I can't really see the issue here? Unless he was like 'She was better than you ' implication. I'm sure you've dated people you weren't compatible with but were good in bed? Have you hidden every previous relationship you ever had from him? There will be exes.

Sorry OP I don't get this?

Edited as misread the op

AgreeableDragon · 03/01/2025 14:09

It's not something that would have upset me.
But it did upset you OP so you need to have Thai conversation with him.

Forgottobuymincepies · 03/01/2025 14:09

Better to know sex is an important part of a relationship but not THE best bit. And he needs to be aware you also have standards in bed.

Original poster
Marjoram2 · 03/01/2025 14:07

JHound · 03/01/2025 14:06

I don’t see the issue with the comment.

In fact it shows a bit of character and that he wants more than merely good sex.

Interesting to hear this (and glad I posted for other views). I really felt it was unnecessary to share it with me and feel super uncomfortable but perhaps I’m overreacting.

OP posts:
JHound · 03/01/2025 14:06

I don’t see the issue with the comment.

In fact it shows a bit of character and that he wants more than merely good sex.