To ask what you do on nights when you don't have a glass of wine

I am obsessed with kombucha. I order boxes of it from a company called leftfield. I have also started making my own. I love that it's not sweet. And the leftfield stuff is unflavoured.

I don’t have a sweet tooth. You can be a stone overweight just by eating too much healthy food.

Will any book do, or does it have to be borrowed from the library?

I find it weird when posters get very specific like this.

I have a diet soda or water. After dinner will have tea or coffee.

The way you've desc your days, you made it sound like wine is the most enjoyable part. And your bewilderment that people can have an evening without that particular pleasure is noticeable

It's not like the default is wine. For most people their normal evening isn't drinking. I enjoy it if I'm out, but wouldn't want to sit drinking wine on a normal weekday evening just for its own sake. But you do you. I also wonder why you started the thread. It does sound like you have an alcohol issue which you are semi in denial about.

I go to an exercise class and have recently started doing jigsaws as they are a good distraction

It's not that, it's people like dh who usually drinks a fair bit- and is probably responsible for me drinking more than I should- who, whenever I say I think I'll have a glass of wine, come back with:"Well I'm not, I'm doing dry January. "
Yes, I know you are. You tell me about it all December then all through January; a bit in February, then you're back to normal by March.

Fair enough, I won’t engage with your thread anymore.

Signed, someone who also likes a drink, and who has in the past found humour a useful deflection from my problems.

why are people who don't need to drink every single day "smug"?

It's the idea of being at home every evening, doing nothing and having to have a drink to pass the time because they are so bored that I find very sad, but each to their own.

I don't even understand how can anyone ever has time to be bored in life. You need to find some satisfaction in your life, it sounds empty.

I agree, the original post had a sense of wanting to know how people manage to feel OK and deal with their feelings without drinking in the evening. Perfectly reasonable but ended up with "you all sound like little old ladies and I'm perfectly happy as I am". Defences kicking in I guess.

My more charitable response than previous message would be - you came on saying you’d like to not drink for a bit, and be less reliant on it for mood. Perhaps you were hoping for a miracle answer that wasn’t ‘self-control’. Perhaps you hoped people would say a glass or two a night is fine, crack on.

You didn’t get those answers and are perhaps now going into denial mode. Understandable, but Mumsnet isn’t going to help you in that case. You need to find more meaning, excitement or balance in your life, for yourself or with some professional help. No shame in it.

Are you wanting to manage your mood without alcohol, OP? You mentioned anxiety and that the wine helps you feel better. Are there other things you do to cheer yourself up or calm yourself down?

I think there's a lot to the idea that the desire for a drink in the evening is partly due to withdrawing from the drink the previous day. We think that "withdrawal" is only for addicts but any alcohol or sugar creates a similar effect and then we crave a replacement. I certainly notice it when I drink more often eg over Christmas

Yeah I’m also not sure why you’ve started the thread, other than to recount the conversations you’ve had with friends about how superior you are to non-wine drinkers.

If a bottle lasts a week, you’re a) having less than a 125ml glass a night, which hardly seems worth the daily exposure, and b) drinking it past its best, which is a bit odd for such a wine bore.

I don’t prefer tea, or fizzy water, or whatever else to wine. But I also know that it’s not healthy physically or mentally to have wine every night, and I also do things that are incompatible with alcohol on several evenings.

You’re not obliged to answer Q’s, but I did note that you haven’t said how many nights a bottle lasts, or whether you’d consider the challenge of Dry January.

Tonic water with lots of ice and lemon slices. Or lime cordial with soda water and a dash of bitters is another good one.
I don't really like cordial that much in lieu of alcohol as I like that sharpness/bitterness. Robinsons do some good cordials think it's called fruit creations like lime and mint which aren't overly sweet.

This.

I only stop if I'm putting on weight, then I have early nights instead. Trying just to drink at weekends now Christmas is over as I feel all puffy and blugh so it will be long baths and early nights.

So. You just have one glass a day. You don't think this is having any negative effect on your health. You really enjoy it. You think it's better for you than juice. You are sure that the rest of Europe do the same. You (are presumably) a healthy weight.

Why do you want to stop? If you don't think there's problem then just carry on! Why do you need to justify it? Or are you just curious about what other people do?

Personally I drink appetiser or sparkling lime in a wine glass with a bowl of crisps if I am avoiding alcohol. I prefer wine but I think it's healthier to not drink daily/keep weekly units to a sensible amount.

If you want the nice buzz without the awful effects of alcohol try taking ashwaganda or roadiola. Magesiun glycinate is amazing for anxiety and sleep too! Take an hour or two before bed. Adaptogenic drinks including these can be found in Holland and Barrett too x