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Original poster

Badly behaved NYE guests

160 replies

achangeofusername · 03/01/2025 08:18

This year we hosted a NYE dinner. My group of friends all have children the same age (7-13) and we've done it before - it's a nice low key celebration. I was clear on the invite that it was a sit down dinner starting at 7. When people inevitably asked what to bring I just said a bottle. One friend "Jane" texted a few days before to say her plans fell through and would it be too late to come? I said she was very welcome to.
7 came and went, everyone (except Jane) arrived and brought lovely wines, beers, flowers, champagne etc. we waited and I texted around 7.30 to see if she'd been glued up and got a "sorry we're late we won't be there til 8.30" with hungry kids and adults already drinking on empty tummies I went ahead and fed everyone. She arrived at 8.30 ish - completely empty handed. I offered to plate her, husband and children - kids had eaten and "they won't sit at a table" so she asked if they could sit and watch a film, at which point every single other child decided that they wanted to watch a film too and have dessert in the lounge... I said yes to tv, but that they'd have to come back to table when adults finished for (messy) dessert. They ate and started to drink - quite heavily. My daughter came in and told me Jane's kids had gone upstairs and had started messing round with her makeup and stuff. Her husband was sat next to me and didn't react so I excused myself and got them downstairs. They had painted themselves (2 boys) by this time.
When I called them back for dessert Jane saw them and made a comment (I'm known as being left wing) about how the "influence" of my house had caused her boys to "cross dress". I snapped at her and told her that actually they took themselves upstairs when they'd been told not to and helped themselves to my daughters make up without permission. I was told by Jane to lighten up - just a joke.
Throughout the whole evening they didn't lift a finger to help with the dishes, look in in the children etc. they both managed to get blind drunk and had forgotten to book a cab so one of my friends who can walk home ended up doing that and sacrificing her cab.
No thank you message afterwards.
AIBU to think this is poor behaviour and not invite them back?

OP posts:
BaconMassive · 03/01/2025 09:07

Never trust a Jane without a Y.

MeridianB · 03/01/2025 09:05

Jane is a moron. Make 2025 the first of many Jane-free years.

IlooklikeNigella · 03/01/2025 09:04

Ugh it's annoying sort of middle of the road shit; not big enough to raise it with Jane but too big to not be irritated and feel taken for granted.

Don't have them back. They have no manners.

Tia86 · 03/01/2025 09:04

Definitely wouldn't be inviting them again.
Sounds like the invite was quite clear that it was a sit down dinner, and therefore parents could decide whether their kids would be able to do this or not before accepting the invite. Sounds like the ones at the meal on time were falling in line with these expectations til Jane rocks up and can't control her kids.

How much do you normally socialise with Jane? I think it is rude that she did not bring anything and did not consider their arrangements home. Also what was with her DH? He could also have considered bringing wine, keeping an eye on the children and sorting out a taxi.

I would minimise contact with them and if they ask I would probably be quite blunt and say I was disappointed with how NYE went.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 03/01/2025 09:03

Jane probably thought - where can I go and get easily pissed and leave the kids to do what they want?
And your home and your party was the instant solution.
Couldn’t be bothered bringing anything, left the kids to
whatever the wanted, a nasty little aside to reflect your beliefs, and then pinched someone else’s taxi.

Jane is not your friend.

Do not invite Jane again.

And I would like to add that my late mother called it her ‘through lounge’ as used by the late Victoria Wood, as she was so proud that she’d ’knocked through’ which was another favourite. Nobody wanted to be caught out having a ‘front parlour’ either.

Jeezitneverends · 03/01/2025 09:03

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:55

This is a lengthy NYE dinner party though. That would be very boring for them

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Presumably the rest of the children managed, as OP hasn’t mentioned it

ThejoyofNC · 03/01/2025 09:03

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

No wonder there are so many badly behaved children about.

Jeezitneverends · 03/01/2025 09:02

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Why can’t you? It’s basic manners

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 03/01/2025 09:01

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:55

Unforgivable? Jeez!

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It’s very rude and I can’t imagine wanting to hang out with them TBH. You can buy flowers for £3 or a pack of biscuits for £1. It’s not about the money, it’s a gesture.

Lollipopsicle · 03/01/2025 09:00

Yes, shocking behaviour. Personally, I'd have asked them to leave earlier in the evening, and in fact I have done so in the past. I really can't be doing with people who behave badly in my home.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 03/01/2025 08:59

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Umm yes you can!! Our kids wouldn’t dream of roaming around someone’s house and using their stuff. On NYE they all managed to have one meal at the table and then went to play and watch a movie.

mum11970 · 03/01/2025 08:59

hopeishere · 03/01/2025 08:56

YABU for using the word lounge.

I'd not have got annoyed about the cross dressing comment but the rest would be very annoying.

What the hell is wrong with the word lounge? Some people say lounge, some say living room in exactly the same way some people say sofa, settee or couch.

Quinto · 03/01/2025 08:59

Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/01/2025 08:58

Why is using the word lounge unreasonable?

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Non-U, dahling.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/01/2025 08:58

hopeishere · 03/01/2025 08:56

YABU for using the word lounge.

I'd not have got annoyed about the cross dressing comment but the rest would be very annoying.

Why is using the word lounge unreasonable?

JoannaGroats · 03/01/2025 08:58

Ditch her! I could get over kids messing up my make-up, as they don’t know any better, but for the mother not to give one solitary shit about it? That would be a deal breaker.

hopeishere · 03/01/2025 08:56

YABU for using the word lounge.

I'd not have got annoyed about the cross dressing comment but the rest would be very annoying.

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:55

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 03/01/2025 08:55

Jane and her family sound awful!!

If I heard one of the host’s kids saying my kids were upstairs messing with her stuff, I’d be flying up those stairs and reading them the riot act! But actually it wouldn’t happen because I always make sure I know where the kids are when I’m at someone’s house. Did they damage any of it? If so I’d be asking her to replace.

It’s unforgivable to turn up at someone’s house without some kind of gift. I took a home made cake and 2 bottles of wine to our friend’s NYE party. And not to say thank you!!

Unforgivable? Jeez!

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:55

wholettheturnipsburn · 03/01/2025 08:42

Decently brought up children? Course you can

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This is a lengthy NYE dinner party though. That would be very boring for them

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 03/01/2025 08:55

Jane and her family sound awful!!

If I heard one of the host’s kids saying my kids were upstairs messing with her stuff, I’d be flying up those stairs and reading them the riot act! But actually it wouldn’t happen because I always make sure I know where the kids are when I’m at someone’s house. Did they damage any of it? If so I’d be asking her to replace.

It’s unforgivable to turn up at someone’s house without some kind of gift. I took a home made cake and 2 bottles of wine to our friend’s NYE party. And not to say thank you!!

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:54

Rocking up empty handed I couldn’t get annoyed at, nor late. The comment I wouldn’t get annoyed at either. It was clearly a joke. The make up thing I would though. Not enough to end the friendship

wholettheturnipsburn · 03/01/2025 08:42

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Decently brought up children? Course you can

Neeenaaw · 03/01/2025 08:40

Is this the first time you’ve had them together socially? Are they normally like this or something s this a different side to them?

itsgettingweird · 03/01/2025 08:36

I wonder why her other plan fell though 🤔

There's probably another family out there somewhere grateful they paged them off elsewhere 😂

YANBU - obviously!

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Hippee · 03/01/2025 08:29

Definitely no need to invite back. The make up reminds me of when my DC were small - loads of my friends only had boys and they would always take the opportunity to dress in princess dresses at ours. Once someone took the piss out of their DS for doing so - way to give him a complex.