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Badly behaved NYE guests

160 replies

achangeofusername · 03/01/2025 08:18

This year we hosted a NYE dinner. My group of friends all have children the same age (7-13) and we've done it before - it's a nice low key celebration. I was clear on the invite that it was a sit down dinner starting at 7. When people inevitably asked what to bring I just said a bottle. One friend "Jane" texted a few days before to say her plans fell through and would it be too late to come? I said she was very welcome to.
7 came and went, everyone (except Jane) arrived and brought lovely wines, beers, flowers, champagne etc. we waited and I texted around 7.30 to see if she'd been glued up and got a "sorry we're late we won't be there til 8.30" with hungry kids and adults already drinking on empty tummies I went ahead and fed everyone. She arrived at 8.30 ish - completely empty handed. I offered to plate her, husband and children - kids had eaten and "they won't sit at a table" so she asked if they could sit and watch a film, at which point every single other child decided that they wanted to watch a film too and have dessert in the lounge... I said yes to tv, but that they'd have to come back to table when adults finished for (messy) dessert. They ate and started to drink - quite heavily. My daughter came in and told me Jane's kids had gone upstairs and had started messing round with her makeup and stuff. Her husband was sat next to me and didn't react so I excused myself and got them downstairs. They had painted themselves (2 boys) by this time.
When I called them back for dessert Jane saw them and made a comment (I'm known as being left wing) about how the "influence" of my house had caused her boys to "cross dress". I snapped at her and told her that actually they took themselves upstairs when they'd been told not to and helped themselves to my daughters make up without permission. I was told by Jane to lighten up - just a joke.
Throughout the whole evening they didn't lift a finger to help with the dishes, look in in the children etc. they both managed to get blind drunk and had forgotten to book a cab so one of my friends who can walk home ended up doing that and sacrificing her cab.
No thank you message afterwards.
AIBU to think this is poor behaviour and not invite them back?

OP posts:
Catsbreakfast · 03/01/2025 23:50

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 19:16

Oh give over, no one gives a crap if someone else is late to another persons house. What a reach

For a sit down meal? You’re deranged.

Latenightreader · 03/01/2025 19:19

hopeishere · 03/01/2025 08:56

YABU for using the word lounge.

I'd not have got annoyed about the cross dressing comment but the rest would be very annoying.

If it is good enough for the mansion in Cluedo...

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 19:16

Catsbreakfast · 03/01/2025 19:14

Your guests feel relaxed when the ones being late and rude end up legless whilst their kids trash your house? Ok Jane. Pull the other one.

Oh give over, no one gives a crap if someone else is late to another persons house. What a reach

Catsbreakfast · 03/01/2025 19:14

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 16:28

Why? I’m just pretty relaxed and want my guests to feel relaxed too. Believe it or not we aren’t all the same

Your guests feel relaxed when the ones being late and rude end up legless whilst their kids trash your house? Ok Jane. Pull the other one.

RampantIvy · 03/01/2025 16:50

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 16:28

Why? I’m just pretty relaxed and want my guests to feel relaxed too. Believe it or not we aren’t all the same

I find it more relaxing to eat at the table than to balance a plate on my knee being worried about spilling food everywhere.

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 16:28

Catsbreakfast · 03/01/2025 13:20

Either you’re a nightmare like jane or you need to set your bar much much higher.

Why? I’m just pretty relaxed and want my guests to feel relaxed too. Believe it or not we aren’t all the same

Catsbreakfast · 03/01/2025 13:20

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:54

Rocking up empty handed I couldn’t get annoyed at, nor late. The comment I wouldn’t get annoyed at either. It was clearly a joke. The make up thing I would though. Not enough to end the friendship

Either you’re a nightmare like jane or you need to set your bar much much higher.

ShesNotACowShesAFox · 03/01/2025 13:12

Absolutely unacceptable- you have to say something. People like this need calling out

FestiveFruitloop · 03/01/2025 13:06

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Can't expect kids to sit at a table? What nonsense.

crockofshite · 03/01/2025 12:58

oakleaffy · 03/01/2025 12:07

Because she's read that ''lounge'' is supposedly naff, and that one is meant to use the term ''Sitting room''.

parlour?
snug?
front room?
drawing room?

user1492757084 · 03/01/2025 12:56

Don't invite them again.
It's perfectly fair to ask children to sit at the table to eat.
When they hop down, they leave the food at the table.
No reason to be eating or drinking any where else.

With sleepy, excited children I would have had a zone for them where they were quite close to the food but able to rest watching someTV, playing cards or talking.

Caroparo52 · 03/01/2025 12:52

She wouldn't be invited ever again. Total rudeness

TheaBrandt · 03/01/2025 12:50

One or two of those things would be annoying but altogether definitely tips them into bin category

RampantIvy · 03/01/2025 12:46

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

Of course you can.

"You can't have any food unless you sit at the table to eat it". I never found it difficult to ask children to eat at the table.

SunnyHappyPeople · 03/01/2025 12:45

They RSVP late

The turn up late

No gift for the host

Don't watch their kids

Don't help with dishes/helping to tidy

Kids destroy your kid's makeup

Sly comments from parents

Get totally pissed with kids in tow

Don't arrange how to get home

No thanks after

Of course you invite them again 😱😂

user2848502016 · 03/01/2025 12:45

I certainly wouldn't be inviting them again!

MandyFriend · 03/01/2025 12:34

I think we all know why Mr. and Mrs. Jane's plans "fell through," and they will most likely spend NYE alone next year!

LlynTegid · 03/01/2025 12:22

Frith2013 · 03/01/2025 12:16

Imagine having children that can't sit at a table to eat.

Probably a parent or parents who park on double yellow lines, claim their children are angels if accused of misbehaviour at school (add other things).

Never invite them back.

Frith2013 · 03/01/2025 12:16

Imagine having children that can't sit at a table to eat.

oakleaffy · 03/01/2025 12:13

@achangeofusername Someone being that late? Appallingly rude, especially as they were turning up mob handed with their poorly~ socialised kids.

Being hungry and waiting for dinner - never mind being the cook!- is annoying, as stuff will have been timed.

Add in alcohol, and it's a no no.

There was a thread on here where someone had found vomot on an expensive sofa {Feather filled upholstery}..I went to a Millennium Party where a child puked bright pink sick on an expensive white carpet.. in an area of the house she shouldn't have been in. The hosts were not best pleased.

oakleaffy · 03/01/2025 12:07

Idontjetwashthefucker · 03/01/2025 08:58

Why is using the word lounge unreasonable?

Because she's read that ''lounge'' is supposedly naff, and that one is meant to use the term ''Sitting room''.

Sazzerss · 03/01/2025 12:01

SleeplikeababyTonight · 03/01/2025 11:33

I wouldn’t even be acquaintances with somebody this ignorant, and rude. I wouldn’t have accepted her coming over in the first place, just because her plans fell through. Why should you have to be a back up plan, and second choice? That is disrespectful enough, before she even arrived, You sound lovely op, but please don’t let people take advantage of you. I have learnt this lesson myself.

I agree.
Their all round behaviour was rude.
When they text to say it would be 8.30 that would be when you say, best to leave it.
You have allowed yourself and your home to be spectacularly disrespected by the dregs.
You need to look at your boundaries that you have accepted that.
I don't know people who behave like that, nor anyone who would tolerate it for a minute.
They are the dregs.

Applepoop · 03/01/2025 11:57

Entitled, arrogant, selfish, rude, all round cunty behaviour from Jane and family.

Phase her out. Don't keep wankers like this in your life. Pleasantries only.

SleeplikeababyTonight · 03/01/2025 11:40

Tricho · 03/01/2025 11:26

Quite.

If my mother told me I was sitting at a table. I was sitting at a table.

Carrying on the way these kids carried on?? My feet wouldn't have touched!

Me too, we also asked permission to leave the table. If we had eaten enough, than dm would allow it. This was the 90s though, before iPads and phones, and constant entertainment. You learnt to eat your dinner in a timely manner , and then you could go play!

Strictlymad · 03/01/2025 11:35

Kids who won’t sit at the table….. nope not at that age, sit at the table or don’t eat -simple

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