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Badly behaved NYE guests

160 replies

achangeofusername · 03/01/2025 08:18

This year we hosted a NYE dinner. My group of friends all have children the same age (7-13) and we've done it before - it's a nice low key celebration. I was clear on the invite that it was a sit down dinner starting at 7. When people inevitably asked what to bring I just said a bottle. One friend "Jane" texted a few days before to say her plans fell through and would it be too late to come? I said she was very welcome to.
7 came and went, everyone (except Jane) arrived and brought lovely wines, beers, flowers, champagne etc. we waited and I texted around 7.30 to see if she'd been glued up and got a "sorry we're late we won't be there til 8.30" with hungry kids and adults already drinking on empty tummies I went ahead and fed everyone. She arrived at 8.30 ish - completely empty handed. I offered to plate her, husband and children - kids had eaten and "they won't sit at a table" so she asked if they could sit and watch a film, at which point every single other child decided that they wanted to watch a film too and have dessert in the lounge... I said yes to tv, but that they'd have to come back to table when adults finished for (messy) dessert. They ate and started to drink - quite heavily. My daughter came in and told me Jane's kids had gone upstairs and had started messing round with her makeup and stuff. Her husband was sat next to me and didn't react so I excused myself and got them downstairs. They had painted themselves (2 boys) by this time.
When I called them back for dessert Jane saw them and made a comment (I'm known as being left wing) about how the "influence" of my house had caused her boys to "cross dress". I snapped at her and told her that actually they took themselves upstairs when they'd been told not to and helped themselves to my daughters make up without permission. I was told by Jane to lighten up - just a joke.
Throughout the whole evening they didn't lift a finger to help with the dishes, look in in the children etc. they both managed to get blind drunk and had forgotten to book a cab so one of my friends who can walk home ended up doing that and sacrificing her cab.
No thank you message afterwards.
AIBU to think this is poor behaviour and not invite them back?

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Nantescalling · 05/01/2025 17:20

It sounds as thoughthese unruly kids have inherited their parents' bad manners. 90 min late is totally off and not keeping their kids out of trouble is pretty disrespectful too. Leave them off your list next year !

EdithStourton · 05/01/2025 13:03

RampantIvy · 05/01/2025 11:59

How on earth do these children who aren't used to eating at the table manage at school?

I realise that not every household has room for a dining table, but by 7 a child will have had experience of sitting at a dining table at school unless they are home educated or completely feral

They're hard work in Foundation Stage, both in the classroom and at lunch...

School staff, including lunch staff, pick up the pieces left by parents who don't do what they need to for their kids.

RampantIvy · 05/01/2025 11:59

How on earth do these children who aren't used to eating at the table manage at school?

I realise that not every household has room for a dining table, but by 7 a child will have had experience of sitting at a dining table at school unless they are home educated or completely feral

CorduroySituation · 05/01/2025 09:26

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

She said all the kids are aged 7+ so yes I would absolutely expect them to sit at a table for a "messy" dessert and not risk my furniture!

Obviously never invite them back. They are selfish, rude and ungrateful.

NavyTurtle · 05/01/2025 09:08

OurDreamLife · 03/01/2025 08:30

It’s poor behaviour but you ant expect kids to sit at a table and not want to go off and do other things.

All the other children had no issue with sitting at the table to eat until the family from hell turned up. Of course children should sit at the table to eat. Manners cost nothing. Far too many feral children in the world thanks to lazy parents.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/01/2025 07:33

YANBU. Very rude, especially the lateness.

My 3 year old would be able to sit down for dinner at 7pm.

Don't invite Jane and her family again.

Workhardcryharder · 05/01/2025 07:17

Snugglemonkey · 05/01/2025 00:25

They are not toddlers though. They can play games, watch films, do plenty of stuff that is not destructive. They should also be checked up on by parents, especially when told they are wrecking things.

Not disputing that bit. I was talking about the actual sit down dinner

Snugglemonkey · 05/01/2025 00:25

Workhardcryharder · 03/01/2025 08:55

This is a lengthy NYE dinner party though. That would be very boring for them

They are not toddlers though. They can play games, watch films, do plenty of stuff that is not destructive. They should also be checked up on by parents, especially when told they are wrecking things.

PorridgeEater · 04/01/2025 22:48

You don't need to ask do you?
I'd ditch "Jane" if I were you.

Nikki75 · 04/01/2025 20:54

I'd be fuming...they would never get an invite again or my friendship .

Julimia · 04/01/2025 20:45

No furthur invite or contact even in my book. Your generosity was lovely snd do not allow it to be devalued. Happy new year.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 04/01/2025 20:18

mum11970 · 03/01/2025 08:59

What the hell is wrong with the word lounge? Some people say lounge, some say living room in exactly the same way some people say sofa, settee or couch.

Hopeishere obviously has a drawing room. Perhaps even a winter drawing room. 🙄

cottoncandy260 · 04/01/2025 19:53

ThejoyofNC · 03/01/2025 09:03

No wonder there are so many badly behaved children about.

I agree. There seems to be a whole brigade of parents that feel it’s impossible to make their children sit at a table for dinner. My brother and his wife are some of them.

They just don’t bother to encourage, speak to, entertain or involve their children round the dinner table. They can’t be arsed. They just let them get down and walk around if in someone’s home, or shove them an iPad if in a restaurant.

Absolutely depressing and infuriating and without doubt extremely lazy parenting. Children absolutely CAN sit at a table but some parents aren’t bothered about instilling that skill in them.

Knowitall69 · 04/01/2025 19:48

achangeofusername · 03/01/2025 08:18

This year we hosted a NYE dinner. My group of friends all have children the same age (7-13) and we've done it before - it's a nice low key celebration. I was clear on the invite that it was a sit down dinner starting at 7. When people inevitably asked what to bring I just said a bottle. One friend "Jane" texted a few days before to say her plans fell through and would it be too late to come? I said she was very welcome to.
7 came and went, everyone (except Jane) arrived and brought lovely wines, beers, flowers, champagne etc. we waited and I texted around 7.30 to see if she'd been glued up and got a "sorry we're late we won't be there til 8.30" with hungry kids and adults already drinking on empty tummies I went ahead and fed everyone. She arrived at 8.30 ish - completely empty handed. I offered to plate her, husband and children - kids had eaten and "they won't sit at a table" so she asked if they could sit and watch a film, at which point every single other child decided that they wanted to watch a film too and have dessert in the lounge... I said yes to tv, but that they'd have to come back to table when adults finished for (messy) dessert. They ate and started to drink - quite heavily. My daughter came in and told me Jane's kids had gone upstairs and had started messing round with her makeup and stuff. Her husband was sat next to me and didn't react so I excused myself and got them downstairs. They had painted themselves (2 boys) by this time.
When I called them back for dessert Jane saw them and made a comment (I'm known as being left wing) about how the "influence" of my house had caused her boys to "cross dress". I snapped at her and told her that actually they took themselves upstairs when they'd been told not to and helped themselves to my daughters make up without permission. I was told by Jane to lighten up - just a joke.
Throughout the whole evening they didn't lift a finger to help with the dishes, look in in the children etc. they both managed to get blind drunk and had forgotten to book a cab so one of my friends who can walk home ended up doing that and sacrificing her cab.
No thank you message afterwards.
AIBU to think this is poor behaviour and not invite them back?

YANBU...... BUT ....

Didn't this happen LAST YEAR and you were worried it would happen AGAIN this year????

You do know you could have said "No." When they asked to come.

neilyoungismyhero · 04/01/2025 19:45

SapphireOpal · 03/01/2025 09:40

Kids aged 7-13?!

When my 3 children were 3 they were able to sit at a table at home or away and eat nicely. My grandchildren were the same. The most their mum ever did to appease them was crayons and colouring book if it was a long wait.

Marieb19 · 04/01/2025 19:44

Chalk this one up and don't invite them again.

Isinglass20 · 04/01/2025 19:30

Wasn’t it the Marquis of Anglesey who liked to dress in women’s clothing and wear makeup (early 20th century).

Nantescalling · 04/01/2025 19:19

YANBU little monsters. Dump the friend unless she apologises profusely !

RareFatball · 04/01/2025 18:48

achangeofusername · 03/01/2025 08:18

This year we hosted a NYE dinner. My group of friends all have children the same age (7-13) and we've done it before - it's a nice low key celebration. I was clear on the invite that it was a sit down dinner starting at 7. When people inevitably asked what to bring I just said a bottle. One friend "Jane" texted a few days before to say her plans fell through and would it be too late to come? I said she was very welcome to.
7 came and went, everyone (except Jane) arrived and brought lovely wines, beers, flowers, champagne etc. we waited and I texted around 7.30 to see if she'd been glued up and got a "sorry we're late we won't be there til 8.30" with hungry kids and adults already drinking on empty tummies I went ahead and fed everyone. She arrived at 8.30 ish - completely empty handed. I offered to plate her, husband and children - kids had eaten and "they won't sit at a table" so she asked if they could sit and watch a film, at which point every single other child decided that they wanted to watch a film too and have dessert in the lounge... I said yes to tv, but that they'd have to come back to table when adults finished for (messy) dessert. They ate and started to drink - quite heavily. My daughter came in and told me Jane's kids had gone upstairs and had started messing round with her makeup and stuff. Her husband was sat next to me and didn't react so I excused myself and got them downstairs. They had painted themselves (2 boys) by this time.
When I called them back for dessert Jane saw them and made a comment (I'm known as being left wing) about how the "influence" of my house had caused her boys to "cross dress". I snapped at her and told her that actually they took themselves upstairs when they'd been told not to and helped themselves to my daughters make up without permission. I was told by Jane to lighten up - just a joke.
Throughout the whole evening they didn't lift a finger to help with the dishes, look in in the children etc. they both managed to get blind drunk and had forgotten to book a cab so one of my friends who can walk home ended up doing that and sacrificing her cab.
No thank you message afterwards.
AIBU to think this is poor behaviour and not invite them back?

Seriously, you need to ask!!!?.

NellieJean · 04/01/2025 18:31

justasking111 · 03/01/2025 11:32

Nope don't have them back. I had this one year. Drunk husband threw up all over my downstairs loo to cap it all.

It’s very Non U to throw up over the loo. The correct thing to do is to throw up into the loo.

Screamingabdabz · 04/01/2025 18:27

It’s unreasonable to only blame Jane. Presumably her DH bares some responsibility?

Personally, I would’ve thrown them out after they messed with the make up and the outrageously rude ‘cross dressing’ comment. What cunts.

MMUmum · 04/01/2025 18:14

So they ended up drunk in charge of their kids ? Shocking🙄😬

JennyBG · 04/01/2025 18:12

hopeishere · 03/01/2025 08:56

YABU for using the word lounge.

I'd not have got annoyed about the cross dressing comment but the rest would be very annoying.

Unreasonable for using the word lounge?
Get over yourself 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

pineapplesundae · 04/01/2025 18:09

Now you see why her plans fell through.

Drummergirl1971 · 04/01/2025 17:55

YANBU - bin her off