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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling someone gift is wrong or keep schtum

80 replies

HettyMeg · 03/01/2025 07:59

Interested in others' views on this. Say a family member had got you something for Christmas and it didn't fit or just wasn't right, would you tell them?

My view is that it's not worth the hassle but then I am a people pleaser. I'll just quietly donate.

YABU = You should tell people if it's the wrong size

YANBU = Suck it up, it's the British way

Signed, the recipient of a pair of kids' (not kid) gloves!

OP posts:
nodramaplz · 03/01/2025 08:12

I'd secretly ask if the receipt was kept, there was a wee hole in them, If not u can see it up.

I'm all for not wasting someone's money.

Radionowhere · 03/01/2025 08:07

Kids gloves? I wouldn't be able to not say anything, but that's me and tact can be challenging sometimes. Suspect the correct answer is not to bother mentioning it, maybe depends how close you are.

buttonousmaximous · 03/01/2025 08:07

If it was a close family member or friend I would say as I know they would want me to be happy and I would want them to say to me.
If my aunt or work colleagues gets me some chocolates or smellies I'm not keen on no I don't say anything

RhaenysRocks · 03/01/2025 08:06

Generally I tell them, in a polite and respectful way making it clear I really appreciate their effort but X is wrong. It does depend a bit..a pair of too small slippers I swap. A slightly different version of what I actually wanted I suck up but later down the line I might mention I prefer X so it's not repeated. My DM got me an expensive makeup compact. Right brand and shade but slightly wrong formulation. I'll use it but in about six months might drop in that the one in the green packaging is the best one. I know many people say there's no point raising it if it's non returnable but my family tend to latch on and repeat "successful" purchases.

strawberrycrochet · 03/01/2025 08:03

My mum got me something for Christmas this year that I absolutely hate. A piece of expensive jewellery which is not my style at all and I'll never wear (it's very glittery and showy - not me at all and I don't know what she was thinking).

I felt quite offended to be honest as it just showed how little she knows me. She's always wanted me to be more 'girly' than I am so it just felt like a slap in the face.

But I didn't say anything. I will just put it away and maybe in a few years, when she's forgotten about it, I'll sell it.

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