Telling someone gift is wrong or keep schtum

Exactly. After the first time I would have made a point of mentioning repeatedly how much I like silver jewellery, that it suits my skin tone, that I find gold blingy or whatever. Not at the time but in the months leading up to next birthday / Christmas. My friend had a "Carrie" moment when she got a proposal complete with gold ring. She'd never worn gold in her life.

I rarely tell except for DH. Bad form.

Oh I understand but tbh I'd rather people didn't buy me gifts at all because I couldn't be unkind and say I didn't like something to a friend and I also don't want the expense and effort of buying gifts for people . Nobody wants to stop the gift giving though!

I once told my sister I didn’t like her present - I had been polite and said oh thank you, so nice, but for some reason (I suspect she knew it was a bit shit) she had pushed and pushed until in exasperation I told her what I thought - she had got me a perfume that I wear, but she had got it at a Christmas market and it had no box and was brown with age - I suspect someone had been clearing out a bathroom cabinet. So I was actually quite insulted because I knew she wouldn’t have dreamt of buying anything like that for our other sister. It did not end well, and I ended up getting her some flowers because I had upset her. So no, I would not tell your family member - for a pair of gloves, frankly it’s not worth it. I think you just have to assume that the person got it because they thought you’d like it, and look at the motive behind the gift rather than what it actually is. I have a friend whose presents are very hit and miss (more miss than hit, TBH) - this year, she got me a sparkly furry neck thing that I would never wear in a month of Sundays, but I shall say nothing and continue to exchange presents because I know I have had a lot more luck in life than she has.

But this is the exact situation people who speak up are trying to avoid — the total waste of years of money and effort for something the recipient will never like or wear!

I had got it so none of us adults in the family bought for each other, we bought all their kids presents and I would buy my dad and parents in law gifts, but there were a lot of other adults and I was sick of exchanging pointless crap between each other, I thought everyone was happy with this.

However we found out over a month ago that one family member had decided to go ahead and buy us all something, it was announced casually. We all got the same and it was a large appliance, so I had to find something to give them but it looked thoughtless and rushed, because actually it was.

I actually already have a version of this gift, it was probably me that gave them the idea earlier in the year as I bought one and went on about how I loved it. I can’t and won’t say a word to them about it because firstly it’s probably un refundable now but also I don’t think they would take kindly to it being brought up, I love them very much and they mean so well, but apparently they have fallen out with me this year then forgiven me for something all without me knowing about it, emotions can run high with them.

I have thoughtful birthday gifts planned, but Christmas I’ve just had enough and run out of all the steam in my tank that should have last a lifetime. Il say nothing about the gift, but now have to store it and say I loved it, which I would have loved it if I didn’t already have one.

So after all that OP, I’m in the smile, say thanks and just move on camp, albeit with a little more unwanted clutter in your life.

We get presents like this from offspring and in-laws who you'd think might know about allergies etc.
Last year pretty much everything for DP had some sort of orange scent - candles, body lotion etc DP allergy to oranges.
I got earrings for pierced ears. Beautiful things and expensive, MiL sits there going 'so you can put them in right now as you're not wearing any!' Reader, my ears aren't pierced.

Depends who it was from.
But generally I'd just quietly regift it or add it to the charity pile.
We're quite ruthless in our family though and no one is put under duress to keep stuff. We all encourage decluttering.

DD received clothes from her DGPs that really weren't to her taste so I took them back, but not planning to say anything. They were perfectly nice clothes, but DD is incredibly picky!

I think it depends on how wrong it is and whether you think thought has gone into it.

My aunt received an XL jumper this year and she is a size 6! TBF she tried it on, in case it's one of those styles that works well baggy, but she looked like a child trying on her dad's jumper! 😆The giver directly asked her if she liked it and aunt was genuinely confused about why it was given, so she was honest and said the pattern was lovely but the size rather swamped her! Turned out the giver thought they'd picked up a Small but had got it wrong. They'd included the receipt so she's going to see if she can get it swapped. I think it's fair enough to raise in those circumstances.

On the other hand, my lovely mum gave DH and I each a mug, which we both really hate. I'm not going to say anything as she's the type to put thought into things and I don't want to hurt her feelings. It's a bizarre choice from her, I'm really not sure what she was thinking. We have just had our kitchen re-done to a stylish farmhouse style (which she loves!) and she bought us each a massive (family size!) novelty-style mug each which relates to something we have no interest in at all (she got me a ballet one, I did ballet aged 3-6 and haven't shown any interest since. And DH got a Star Wars one, when he has never shown any interest, hasn't even watched all the films).

This is very unusual for her as she normally checks gifts beforehand and they are always really nice! We've hidden them under our bed, have told her we're each taking them to our office to be our special work mug, and will take to the charity shop in a few months! If she gets anything similar again we will have to be honest as I don't want hundreds of these things!

I think it depends on who they are from and the cost. A cheap pair of gloves from my granny I wouldn’t say anything but an expensive pair from Dh I would.

Just say ‘thank you so much, they are beautiful but sadly they don’t fit. They appear to be children’s gloves’.

I'm in the same situation. Was given a book but haven't been able to read standard size print since the mid 2000s which is hardly a secret.

The book was from my sister. Not a relative who barely knows me

No, I probably wouldn't say anything, but I would return it to the store for an exchange or store credit 😁

I don't say anything. People seem to get offended if you do. eg My parents gave us a dark wrap for baby and I was worried about it rubbing off on all the other exclusively pale clothes so I asked for the receipt so I could swap the colour. My mother made a face and a comment about picking it especially.

For clothes I'd just say. Oh it didn't fit do you have the receipt so I can swap them..

Harder when it's stuff I don't like or when my.mpther would buy me.dang awful clothing in Denmark.

Always tell them.

My daughter was gifted a beautiful beret when she 18 by a cousin of mine.

The beret was for 18 months! Much hilarity ensued.

It depends who it is. Mum or husband yes but they normally include the gift receipt and go out of their way to say to change it if it's not right as they want me to actually use the things they buy. A friend or someone not as close, probably not.

Are you my wife?! My MIL did the exact same thing to her this year! And my wife is planning to do the exact same thing with the gift.

Are they magic gloves?

Or are they expensive gloves - if so - yes I would ask to change.

My friend regularly buys me silver jewellery, I wear only gold but I've never said anything at all. I just smile, say thank you and then put away

Yes this, I’d totally say something to avoid wasting someone’s money and would very much want someone to tell me if I’d got them the wrong size or something rather than stick it down the charity shop.
it’s not a big drams as far as I see it

It depends! My mum or my sister I'd just say they didn't fit (although we'd normally include gift receipts for clothes for this reason so they can be swapped if needed). A distant Auntie I'd think it was nice they got me something and say thank you politely and just pass them on to someone who could use them.

For gloves I'd probably say, oh I love the gloves but they come up small. Any chance you've still got the receipt and I'll swap for larger. If they say no problem then great. Otherwise just drop it.
I'd probably only do this with a close relative though. Otherwise I'd be regifting

As a family we stopped doing presents for this very reason. Clothes wrong sizes, not to everyone’s taste etc. I was usually happy with mine, but my in laws hated everything.

If it is my DH I would tell him-and have done over the years.

My Mum still buys me things I would have worn 20 years ago which I find poignant and depressing in equal measure but I don't say anything.

So unless it's a mix up/easy fix I don't mention it.
Doesn't seem worth it on balance.