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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think there is nothing positive about social media

106 replies

meloncotton · 02/01/2025 15:48

I am trying to find anything positive about social media, we all know the negatives but are there any positives?

YABU - There are positives which outweigh the negatives
YANBU - Social Media use negatively affects people overall

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Rachmorr57 · 03/01/2025 07:39

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MissTrip82 · 03/01/2025 07:35

A constant theme from people who don’t realise mumsnet is social media.

All social media is the same as every other avenue of life: if you’re a dick,
you’ll be a dick on social media.

A normal functioning adult will be that anywhere also.

meloncotton · 03/01/2025 07:07

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No, I think thought is very important, especially where children are concerned. Do you not?

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Fundays12 · 03/01/2025 07:00

PlantDoctor · 02/01/2025 15:51

I would delete FB if it weren't for all the local and school events and news being posted almost exclusively there! It's almost unusable now.

I don't really use other social media. Used to use twitter for science communication but don't really like supporting Musk and it's pretty toxic on there now!

Agree with this. It's full of adverts so I can't see my friends post. I also hate all the bragging posts.

Wantingtomove123 · 03/01/2025 06:56

I live in a country where social media had a huge part to play in making people aware of how corrupt the government was. This led to huge protests and uprising and some years later, social media again kept the public informed in order for them to make an unbiased decision as to who to vote for in elections. This was a country where in the decades past, the government controlled media and oppressed people. So yes there can be a lot of good in social media.
However, I don’t think children should be on social media.

alertandready · 03/01/2025 06:42

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strawberrycrochet · 03/01/2025 06:41

Social media is great in itself, but the way some people use it is problematic.

We need better education about risks and balance, and perhaps more restrictions e.g. on children and teens use of it.

alertandready · 03/01/2025 06:39

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alertandready · 03/01/2025 06:37

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mids2019 · 03/01/2025 06:37

I will tell my children not to use or use extremely sparingly with the danger of oversharing and the inability to recall a post or image you regret. I think there are two groups on my feed, the rare posters who put the occasional family pic up and those that seem to get validation for the feelings through the likes of friends and possibly strangers. The latter I think is worrying psychologically and I have been guilty of this.

another thing that should be obvious is that people lost the best perspectives of themselves leading to jealousy. I don't know why we put our selves through this and gain unrealistic portrayals of our friends viewing their lives as essentially PR.

meloncotton · 03/01/2025 06:30

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Maybe you’ve not given it much thought then?

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alertandready · 03/01/2025 06:02

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louderthan · 02/01/2025 20:04

Positives: can create a community for marginalised people, eg people with disabilities or life-limiting conditions who might find it difficult to leave the house. Social media connects them with others in similar situations.
I know of people in this sort of situation who have started blogs off the back of their social media, who are now getting paid for their writing/appearing on podcasts etc.
Is a great way for artists/comedians/other performers to build a fan base: there were comedians at the Edinburgh festival this year who'd built a following on TikTok.
I've got a friend who's an artist; a significant proportion of her sales are driven by her innovative social media.
Can engage young people in politics/charity/campaigning etc.
All this is contingent on teaching critical information literacy in schools: teaching young people how to identify fake news; to think about the source/intention/veracity of information etc.

lalaland898 · 02/01/2025 19:24

I agree with the last poster. I've definitely made friends with people but also lost them as a result of using SM as a passive way of maintaining contact. Removing myself has shown me who is in my life (not many) and mainly that people just view and judge or send trite messages that aren't friendship - just a validation of seconds.

Mine was originally linked with work so had a lot of followers but eventually it was personal and it felt wrong to be exposing myself and my thoughts to people who knew nothing about me. I just don't care about it anymore. I can see that it is not a good thing for real relationships and actively takes me away from my life.

Feelingathomenow · 02/01/2025 19:17

I have some fairly niche interests and I’ve connected to people all over the world, learned so much and developed some great connections that have become real life friendships.

On the other hand, algorithms have developed echo chambers which seems to have lead to the creation of a toxic personality type who can’t appreciate different views, perceive discussion as inflammatory arguments, different opinions as personal attacks and their view as the only sensible one.

Its perpetuates the ridiculous school yard tribalism the in crowd and out crowd, having to think a certain way to be in the in crowd. Critical thinking has by and large gone out the window as people parrot the sane mantra to stay in the incrowd. So much is linked to social media, people fear being ostracised, like they can’t survive.

The dangerous thing is people either don’t think, or don’t want to accept how much the “in” narrative is manipulated, people buy in to all manner of things without any element of challenge. Look at some of the utterly ridiculous things people believe in.

It presents a “right” and “wrong” answer. In order to stay in the club you need to always pick the “right”
answer. Pick the right answer”wrong answer and often you’re thrown out the club, off to Facebook jail you go. The judge and jury a faceless algorithm- something necessarily binary decides your fate with no possibility of appeal.

I do wonder if people see how they’re being manipulated and are too scared of being ostracised to challenge it, or just don’t see it.

It’s effectively recreating a replication of witch hunts, inquisitions, searching out heretics.

meloncotton · 02/01/2025 19:06

Urghto · 02/01/2025 19:04

Totally how you use it.

what about teens and how they use it?

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Urghto · 02/01/2025 19:04

Totally how you use it.

NordicwithTeen · 02/01/2025 18:41

Pinterest went weird with the AI stuff about a year ago - fake photos trying to look like real rooms (americanised Victorian hallway tweaked to try to look like a UK one in various colour schemes with sizes of pictures just off, etc).

Instagram became too saturated with look at me winning at lifers, although some craft pages are OK still.

Fb because toxic in Brexit and never rebounded. Very one sided feeds and people becoming apathetic to the point it's hard to believe anything on there or elsewhere online. Avoid it completely now.

EdithStourton · 02/01/2025 18:40

I have very mixed feelings about SM.

On the one hand, it really helps stay in contact with my far-flung relations and friends. Rather than no contact at all I have a vague idea what some of my cousins are up to, and can get in touch with them easily if I or one of my DC will be in their area and sort out a visit, and they can get hold of me in the same way. It's also useful for groups for specific interests, and helps you to meet people with similar interests and seek info and advice.

On the other, it can be hell for teens, and it can lead to insane echo chambers for adults.

ShoAndSew · 02/01/2025 18:32

Wish they had an option to only see posts from friends and groups you’ve followed,

this re Facebook: if you use it on the laptop (doesn't work on the mobile version or the app) if you look at "feeds" on the left, you can select friends or whatever. That helps a lot.

As for Twix: i only look at the "following" tab and because i don't follow wankers it's mostly full of football and cats. SM is what you make it, you have to put a bit of effort in.

Microgal · 02/01/2025 18:30

I got rid of all my social media, I know people say MN is social media but it’s not the same essentially in that people don’t post videos, pictures and daily updates quite the same. Anyway my mental health is a million times better since I got rid of Facebook and instagram, no more comparing to others and getting sucked into the “I must have that” mindset. So freeing!

pointythings · 02/01/2025 18:29

It's about not getting sucked in and doing moderation, and then it can absolutely be a positive.

I have friends and family all over the world. Social media lets me chat with them cost free and plan meetups easily.

I use social media to fundraise for our local cat rescue and share referrals for people wanting to rehome a cat.

I run a support group for relatives of addicts - social media is essential to maintain this.

I keep in touch with my kids via social media.

You don't have to fall down rabbit holes if you don't want to.

Pamosonic · 02/01/2025 18:26

Local clubs and interests. That's about it.

Birdscratch · 02/01/2025 18:26

Pet pictures/videos
Wildlife pictures/videos
Beautiful landscape photos
The fact that there are lots of other people out there who also love the above and share them to spread the joy restores a little of my faith in humanity.

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 02/01/2025 18:21

I think there are positives but they don't outweigh the negatives.